Category Archives: Travel

lessons people learn too late in life

Live in the NOW

  1. Everything is temporary
  2. Life is not fair
  3. Family matters more than friends
  4. Others treat you the way you treat yourself
  5. Happiness is a choice and requires hard work
  6. Beneath anger is always fear
  7. Things don’t matter that much
  8. A lifetime isn’t very long
  9. You played it too safe
  10. Time waits for no man – make each moment count

COWS DON’T GIVE MILK

A peasant used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all reach the age of 12 I will tell you the secret of life. One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers.
—The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk. “What are you saying?” Asked the boy incredulously. —As you hear it, son: The cow does not give milk, you have to milk it. You have to get up at 4 in the morning, go to the field, walk through the corral full of manure, tie the tail, hobble the legs of the cow, sit on the stool, place the bucket and do the work your self. That is the secret of life, the cow does not give milk. You milk her or you don’t get milk.

There is this generation that thinks that cows GIVE milk. That things are automatic and free: their mentality is that if ” I wish, I ask….. I obtain.”
” They have been accustomed to get what ever they want the easy way… But No, life is not a matter of wishing, asking and obtaining. The things that one receives are the effort of what one does. Happiness is the result of effort. Lack of effort creates frustration.
So, remember to share with your children, from a young age, the secret of life. So they don’t grow up with the mentality that the government, their parents, or their cute little faces is going to give them everything they need in life.
Remember
“Cows don’t give milk. You have to work for it”

Three types of people

LEAF

Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.

BRANCH

There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it’s possible that you can lose them. Most times they break away when it’s tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can’t handle too much weight. But again you can’t be mad with them, it’s just who they are are.

ROOT

If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy for you. They stay low key and don’t let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you. Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots.

Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people’s lives?

Motivational Quotes

Let’s start this list off right, with the top 10 best motivational quotes:

  1. “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” – William B. Sprague
  2. “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” — Howard Thurman
  3. “I get knocked down. But I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down.” – Chumbawamba
  4. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill
  5. “Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose– a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.” — Mary Shelley
  6. “There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.” — Tony Robbins
  7. “Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent.” — Carl Sandburg
  8. “To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
  9. “To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.” — Bruce Lee
  10. “When it’s time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived.” — Henry David Thoreau

Getting Started

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What do motivational quotes teach us about getting started?

Just start.

 

“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”
— John R. Wooden

“Just do it.”
— Nike

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
— Arthur Ashe

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
— Mark Twain

“The wise does at once what the fool does at last.”
—  Baltasar Gracian

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”
— Ralph Marston

“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.”
— Henry Ford

Action

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What do motivation quotes teach us about action?

Do more of it.

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
— William James

“Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.”
— Albert Schweitzer

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.”
— Jim Rohn

“Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.”
— Benjamin Disraeli

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
— Anne Frank

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundation under them.”
— Henry David Thoreau

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”
 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.”
— Peter Marshall

“Step by step and the thing is done.”
— Charles Atlas

“The more we do the more we can do.”
— William Hazlitt

“Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent.”
— Carl Sandburg

“To talk goodness is not good… only to do it is.”
— Chinese proverb

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”
— Will Durant

“Well done is better than well said.”
— Benjamin Franklin

“Words are plentiful; deeds are precious.”
– – Lech Walesa

“Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.”
— Voltaire

Attitude

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What do motivation quotes teach us about attitude?

Express the best of you.

 

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.”
— Oscar Wilde

“A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.”
– – Earl Nightingale

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
— Lou Holtz

“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”
– – Charles Swindoll

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
— Wayne Dyer

“Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time.”
– – Elbert Green Hubbard

“Don’t take yourself too seriously. And don’t be too serious about not taking yourself too seriously.”
– – Howard Ogden

“Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.”
– – Charles Prestwich Scott

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
– – Victor E. Frankl

“Funny is an attitude.”
— Flip Wilson

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”
— Maya Angelou

“It is not the position, but the disposition.”
 J. E. Dinger

“Mental attitude is more important than mental capacity.”
— Walter Dill Scott

“Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.”
– – Thomas Dewar

“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.”
— Earl Nightingale

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
— Marcel Proust

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
— Plato

Boldness

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What do motivation quotes teach us about boldness?

Go for it and don’t hold back.

“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.”
— W. Clement Stone

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”
— William James

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
— Theodore Roosevelt

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
— Mary Anne Radmacher

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”
— George Adair

“Fortune favors the brave.”
– – Publius Terence

“Fortune sides with him who dares.”
— Virgil

“Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.”
— Wayne Dyer

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
— Albert Einstein

“He who hesitates is lost.”
– – Proverb

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
— Walt Disney

“Leap, and the net will appear.”
— John Burroughs

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.”
— Chris Grosser

“Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.”
— George S. Patton

“We are still masters of our fate.  We are still captains of our souls.”
— Winston Churchill

“When it’s time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived.”
– –Henry David Thoreau

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
— Wayne Gretzky

Challenge and Change

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What do motivation quotes teach us about challenge and change?

Make the most of it.

“Change is not merely necessary to life – it is life.”
— Alvin Toffler

“Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.”
— Alfred A. Montapert

“Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it.”
— Winston Churchill

“Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.”
– – Samuel Johnson

“Only I can change my life. No one else can do it for me.”
— Carol Burnett

“The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.”
— Winston Churchill

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
— George Bernard Shaw

Determination and Persistence

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What do motivation quotes teach us about determination and effort?

That’s what it takes to succeed.

“Always look at what you have left.  Never look at what you have lost.”
— Robert H. Schuller

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”
— Thomas Jefferson

“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.”
— Sam Levenson

“Either I will find a way, or I will make one.”
— Philip Sidney

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
— Samuel Beckett

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”
— Og Mandino

“I’ve failed over and over and over again. And that is why I succeed.”
— Michael Jordan

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.”
— H. G. Wells

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
— Confucius

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
— Jim Ryun

“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
— Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose– a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.”
— Mary Shelley

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”
— Confucius

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
— Thomas A. Edison

“Pursue one great decisive aim with force and determination.”
— Carl von Clausewitz

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”
— Robert Collier

“The best way out is always through.”
— Robert Frost

“You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.”
— Babe Ruth

“Your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”
— Abraham Lincoln

Greatness

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What do motivation quotes teach us about greatness?

Don’t set limits.  Act in limitless ways.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.”
— Og Mandino

“Don’t put a limit on what can be accomplished.”
– – Christopher Reeve

“I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail, than to attempt nothing and succeed.”
— Robert H. Schuller

“It’s great to be great, but its greater to be human.”
— Will Rogers

“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”
— Theodore Roosevelt

“The first key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be.”
— Socrates

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”
— William James

“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.”
— Arthur C. Clarke

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”
— Confucius

“To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.”
– – Muhammad Ali

“Try not to be a person of success, but rather a person of virtue.”
 Albert Einstein

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”
— Albert Einstein

Optimism

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What do motivation quotes teach us about optimism?

Look for the bright side until you find one.

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
— Herm Albright

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”
– – Hans Selye

“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.”
— Dr. Albert Schweitzer

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.”
– – Helen Adams Keller

“Optimism means expecting the best, but confidence means knowing how to handle the worst. Never make a move if you are merely optimistic.”
— The Zurich Axioms

“The best way to cheer yourself up: Cheer everybody else up.”
— Mark Twain

“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.”
— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”
— John Wooden

“To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.”
 Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anonymous on Motivation

What does “anonymous” or “unknown” teach us through their motivational quotes?

We help motivate our self and others through our attitude.

 

“Sometimes we are limited more by attitude than by opportunities.”
— Anonymous

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”
— Anonymous

“Although fate presents the circumstances, how you react depends on your character.”
— Anonymous

“Attitude determines altitude.”
— Anonymous

“Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.”
– – Anonymous

“Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?”
— Anonymous

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”
— Anonymous

Brian Tracy on Motivation

What does Brian Tracy teach us about motivation through his motivation quotes?

We shape our motivation through our thoughts and actions.

 

“Your attitude is an expression of your values,beliefs and expectations.”
— Brain Tracy

“Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other.”
— Brain Tracy

“If you did not care at all what anyone else thought about you, what would you do differently or change in your life?”
— Brain Tracy

“Make a game of finding something positive in every situation.Ninety-five percent of your emotions are determined by how you interpret events to yourself.”
— Brain Tracy

“Whatever is expressed is impressed. Whatever you say to yourself, with emotion, generates thoughts, ideas and behaviors consistent with those words.”
— Brain Tracy

Bruce Lee on Motivation

What does Bruce Lee teach us about motivation through his motivational quotes?

Live with zest and be your best.

 

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”
— Bruce Lee

“As you think, so shall you become.”
— Bruce Lee

“Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one’s potential.”
— Bruce Lee

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”
— Bruce Lee

“All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”
— Bruce Lee

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
— Bruce Lee

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
— Bruce Lee

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”
— Bruce Lee

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”
— Bruce Lee

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”
— Bruce Lee

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”
— Bruce Lee

“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.”
– – Bruce Lee

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”
– – Bruce Lee

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”
— Bruce Lee

“Real living is living for others.”
— Bruce Lee

“Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.”
– – Bruce Lee

“The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.”
— Bruce Lee

Jim Rohn on Motivation

What does Jim Rohn teach us about motivation through his motivation quotes?

Start your motivation from the inside out.

 

“Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.”
— Jim Rohn

“Humans have the remarkable ability to get exactly what they must have. But there is a difference between a ‘must’ and ‘want.’”
— Jim Rohn

“Motivation alone is not enough.If you have an idiot and you motivate him,now you have a motivated idiot.”
— Jim Rohn

“My suggestion would be to walk away from the 90% who don’t and join the 10% who do.”
— Jim Rohn

“The best motivating is self-motivating.The guy says,”I wish someone would come by and turn me on.”What if they don’t show up?You’ve got to have a better plan for your life.”
— Jim Rohn

“When you know what you want,and you want it badly enough,you’ll find a way to get it.”
— Jim Rohn

“Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.”
– – Jim Rohn

Ralph Waldo Emerson on Motivation

What does Ralph Waldo Emerson teach us about motivation from this motivation quotes?

Get out of the way of your own greatness.

 

“Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A good indignation brings out all one’s powers.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man’s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“As soon as there is life there is danger.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Beauty without expression is boring.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Before we acquire great power we must acquire wisdom to use it well.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Each age, it is found, must write its own books; or rather, each generation for the next succeeding.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great ever achieved.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Ever artist was first an amateur.”
– – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tony Robbins on Motivation

What does Tony Robbins teach us about motivation through his motivation quotes?

Do what makes your heart sing.

 

“Live with passion.”
— Tony Robbins

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”
— Tony Robbins

“It not knowing what to do, it’s doing what you know.”
— Tony Robbins

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”
— Tony Robbins

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
– – Tony Robbins

“There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.”
– – Tony Robbins

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
– – Tony Robbins

Zig Ziglar on Motivation

What does Zig Ziglar teach us about motivation through his motivation quotes?

Focus on the positive, and you’ll catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar.

“Of all the ‘attitudes’ we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing.”
— Zig Ziglar

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar

“Positive thinking won’t let you do anything but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”
– – Zig Ziglar

“To respond is positive, to react is negative.”
– – Zig Ziglar

“When you choose to be pleasant and positive in the way you treat others, you have also chosen, in most cases,how you are going to be treated by others.”
– – Zig Ziglar

“You can disagree without being disagreeable.”
— Zig Ziglar

“I’ve go to say ‘no’ to the good to say ‘yes’ to the best.”
– – Zig Ziglar

“You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make the attitudes to fit those situations before they arise.”
— Zig Ziglar

Manhood Is Not Natural

Manhood is not natural, but it is essential. No society can endure if it does not harness male sexual energy and teach men to take care of the children they father and the women who bear them.

Few would disagree that manhood is in crisis today. Men are falling behind women in important measures of personal and social well-being. In deeply consequential ways, they have become the weaker sex.

Some women celebrate this. Most, however, are deeply concerned, especially since the weakness of the men in their lives makes it increasingly difficult for them to become wives and mothers. The equation is really quite simple: if boys don’t become good, dependable men, they can’t become good, dependable husbands and fathers.

The majority of women want marriage and babies, and usually quite dearly. They don’t need to be talked into them and never really have. Ask women today their biggest obstacle to achieving this goal. It’s not a shortage of males, but of responsible adult males. Men. If they cannot find marriageable men, they often go with other choices. It’s no coincidence that the two fastest growing family formation trends are unmarried cohabitation and out-of-wedlock childbearing among twenty- and thirty-something women.

The causes of these trends can be found in the underappreciated and often-denied distinct natures of manhood and womanhood. It’s rooted in a strange but essential anthropological truth: Womanhood is natural. Manhood is not.

Womanhood Is Natural

Womanhood is a natural phenomenon. A female’s biological make-up usually ensures that she will grow into a healthy woman. Leave her to herself, and it’s likely to happen. It’s why the phrases “woman up,” “be a woman,” or “make a woman out of her” don’t exist.

As her body matures, internally and externally, it sends her and those around her an unmistakable message about what she is and what she’s becoming. It moves her inexorably in that direction with a force as great as it is mysterious. Few girls miss these cues. It’s not just her body that is changing; she is becoming a different person. Her family and community treat her differently because of it. A father shudders at it, as it forever changes the way he interacts with “his little girl.” He must bow to and honor it. I’m the father of a girl. I know it all too well.

Women must be taught, with great political and ideological pressure, to ignore their womanhood and abandon their children, for doing so is contrary to all nature.

Manhood Is Taught

The opposite is true of manhood.  Unlike a woman, a man has no civilized role or agenda inscribed in his body. The boy has no on-board GPS directing him toward his future. His transition into manhood can only come into being with significant, intentional work by other men. As a behavior, manhood must be learned, proven, and earned. As an identity, manhood must be bestowed by a boy’s father and the community’s larger fraternity of men. His mother can only affirm it. She cannot bequeath it.

Maleness just happens, but manhood does not. The first is a biological event, while the second is a developed character quality. When manhood is not formed and cultivated, males fail to mature, resulting in the “perpetual adolescence” or “failure to launch” that plagues our culture. When so many men play beer pong into their forties, live in their parents’ basements, play videogames twelve hours a day, and encounter women only in the form of pixels on a porn site, it seems clear that we have a manhood problem.

The human male nature doesn’t naturally go in the direction civilization requires; it requires the direction of other men. Unlike the female nature, which tends to exist reliably among the median scale of human behavior, the male nature is oriented more toward extremes, for good or bad.

Manhood must be crafted and refined in order to orient males in pro-social, communitarian directions. In fact, this is the first work of every civilization. Anthropologists tell us that the original and most fundamental social problem of any culture is the unattached male. Left to his own, he is not inclined to play well with others. He is not disposed to make himself, or anyone around him, a better person. He is not likely to become other-focused. Either fiercely competitive or indolent, he is more likely to become a social contagion. He will either seek to define himself in the community by power, false confidence, and selfish conquest, or shrink away toward inactivity and reticence.

In every known human society, everywhere in the world, the young male learns that when he grows up, one of the things which he must do in order to be a full member of society is to provide food [and protection] for some female and her young. … every known human society rests firmly on the learned nurturing behaviour of men.

Thus, across virtually all cultures, manhood has largely consisted of three essential qualities: procreation, provision, and protection. If the boy doesn’t learn these things, then he is not likely to become a good, selfless, serving man. Shame and derision from the community will become his lot.

Tragically, manhood is becoming extinct because we are not teaching it.

Male vs. Female Sexuality

Additionally, the most elemental destabilizing force in every culture is not merely unrefined male energy, but his unchecked sexual energy. Full stop. In its fundamental essence, it is deeply anti-social. It has no civilizing, pro-social nature in itself. To become so, it must be acted upon by other forces. By contrast, female sexual energy tends to be inherently pro-social. Female sexuality has the power to create human civilization by moderating the behavior of men, but it can only do this when there is social appreciation for these differences in male and female sexuality, coupled with the strong social morals they require.

Of course, the flip side of unmoderated male energy goes beyond sexuality. A female’s naturally domesticating influence on overall male energy and behavior is easily demonstrated. Who pays substantially lower auto, health, and life insurance premiums, married men or their single peers? Service to the god of equality requires there be no difference here. But we all know better. The wedding-ring-clad man enjoys the financial benefit, and not because insurance companies have a sentimental heart for weddings. Every insurance company knows married men direct their male wanderlust and energy toward safety and responsibility. Single men, not so much.

Without the essential tempering influence of female sexuality, male sexuality is a whole other animal, and not a pretty one.

Sex Makes Babies

This is a problem, because sex makes babies. Every society must give greater attention to this fact than it does to the need for food, shelter, and protection from outside attack. These and all other vital needs are either enhanced or crippled by what a community expects of the relationship between a man, the children he sires, and the woman he does so with. If it doesn’t get this right, few other good things the community needs are likely.

Of course, the male’s attitude and approach toward his procreative act is drastically different from hers. His necessary participation in the act is solely orgasmic, lasting seconds, and is all pleasure. He is not naturally connected to the potential of that act. The mother’s connection, however, is profound, starting shortly after conception and intensifying daily. It costs her dearly in energy, sleep, and overall comfort, starting long before the pain of childbirth. She is inescapably invested. He is not.

The crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and biology to the long-term horizons of female sexuality . . . It is male behavior that must be changed to create a civilized order. The crucial process of civilization. No society can develop or endure without succeeding at this.

Manhood, Marriage, and Fatherhood

The woman is not only the stabilizing force of male sexuality; she is the authorizing factor in fatherhood. If a particular man desires to be involved in the life of his child, it is the child’s mother, and she alone, who determines whether and how he may do this. She typically desires to make this relationship public by making the father of the child her husband. Anthropologists have called this the legitimization of the child.

Consider the etymology of two key words: matrimony and husband. The first comes from the Latin, matrimonium, meaning literally “obligation to the mother.” Since it is virtually impossible for a mother and her child to thrive by themselves, marriage arose in nearly every civilization throughout time as a way to have the impregnating male take responsibility for his child and the mother. The surrounding community expects the male to fulfill his obligation so it doesn’t have to. It is why marriage is a deeply public act and no society has found a way to function without it.

Thus, the good man steps up, and in doing so, becomes a husband. This stems from the Old Norse, meaning literally house dweller: hús (“house”) bóndi (“dweller” and “bonded serf” or “slave”). The husband settles down and confines himself to a particular household, serving and providing resources for its inhabitants. He becomes a whole other kind of man, taking full responsible for his sexuality and his part in the coming generation.

What Happens When Manhood Isn’t Taught?

It is then certainly no coincidence that the term “feminization of poverty” was coined as the sexual revolution initiated the great divorce between sex, babies, and marriage.  While large opportunities were opening for women due to greater equality, Poverty is rapidly becoming a female problem. She blamed the significant increase in the number of female-headed families.

Ghettos are not created by city planners, crime by the police, or failing health by big pharma. Each of these social ills arises by inattention to the sexual behaviors of males. If he doesn’t have to marry before having sex (and potentially fathering children), the average man won’t. So he hasn’t. The feminization of poverty and the accompanying declines in female happiness and childhood well-being are the tragic results.

Manhood ideologies always include a criterion of selfless generosity, even to the point of sacrifice. Again and again, we find that “real” men are those who give more than they take away; they serve others. Real men are generous, even to a fault. Non-men are often those stigmatized as stingy and unproductive.

A good man is the fountain, not the drain. The formation of such men is the first task of human civilization, and its largest threat when ignored.

The question is, how can we recover manhood today? We must find the answer. For it is not only the fate of men that is at stake, but the fate of our women, children, and society as well.

25 habits that will help you thrive during season of the corona virus epidemic:

1. Set SMART goals.

Success requires dedicated work. Write your goals and map out the key steps they must take to get closer to their goals every day.

2. They manage their time.

Time is precious and valuable. Successful managers manage their time effectively by cutting out activities that do not align with their goals.

3. They invest in others.

Successful managers continually invest in others. Investing in others includes encouraging, coaching, mentoring, and sponsoring future leaders.

4. They communicate effectively.

Successful managers are good communicators. Effective communication requires attentive listening and asking questions. Good communicators also respond to questions when asked and they share information that will benefit others.

5. They focus on the big picture.

Successful managers engage in strategic planning and effective implementation. To do so, they broaden their perspective to understand how all the pieces of a plan, project or goal it together.

6. They invest in their professional and personal development.

The best managers understand the importance of investing in their professional and personal development. They read books, attend seminars, and / or seek advanced degrees. Continuing education enhances their credentials and allows them to stay on top of trends that will impact their areas of expertise.

7. They take risks.

Taking risks builds confidence and sharpens one’s ability to be decisive. Successful managers are willing to try new things and experiment with new ideas.

8. They have integrity.

Successful managers demonstrate consistency between their words and their actions. Their consistency inspires others to trust them and their ability to lead.

9. They are disciplined.

Self-discipline is an important leadership attribute. It requires engaging in consistent action even when you don’t feel like it. Self-discipline fuels a successful manager’s sense of determination and allows the manager to achieve goals.

10. They are strategic.

Strategic leadership requires thoughtful analysis, planning, and execution. Successful managers invest time to think through various scenarios and consider the consequences of potential actions.

11. They ask for feedback.

The founder of modern management, Peter Drucker, once wrote: “The only way to discover your strengths is through feedback analysis.” Successful managers continually seek feedback to improve their performance and enable continued success.

12. They seek advice.

Thriving managers seek advice to make effective decisions. Knowledgeable advice allows a leader to learn about blind spots. Receiving guidance enhances a manager’s leadership style by offering a different point of view.

13. They promote collaboration.

Successful management requires engaging others and inspiring them toward shared goals. Sharing information and inviting others to participate in collaboration builds trust within a team and a common sense of purpose.

14. They are visible.

Successful managers are visible and create visibility opportunities for their teams. Visibility facilitates connection points with others, spurs interaction, and provides a platform to showcase accomplishments.

15. They are respectful of others.

Trust and respect are fundamental to effective leadership. No one likes to be disrespected or denigrated. Successful managers are courteous and considerate of others. Genuine regard for others engenders loyalty and fosters mutual respect.

16. They promote their team’s accomplishments.

Everyone wants to be part of a winning team. Giving others credit and acknowledging their accomplishments are two ways that successful managers create high achieving teams. Promoting their team’s accomplishments encourages momentum for further achievement.

17. They build a network.

Good working relationships are important for career and personal advancement. Successful managers work at strategically building networks that support their personal and professional goals. They create regular opportunities to establish genuine connections with people in and out of their professional community.

18. They position themselves for the future.

In an ever-changing workplace that is increasingly being impacted by technology and global markets, positioning oneself for the future is critical for career and team success. Successful managers stay on top of industry trends by reading periodicals, attending conferences, and networking. They also seek opportunities to share what they learn with team members and incorporate new methods into their work processes.

19. They navigate office politics.

Successful managers embrace office politics. They understand that office politics is a fact of life. But, they also understand that navigating office politics does not require that they violate their personal values. Rather, they respect their organization’s culture, strategically build their network, and interact sincerely to influence others effectively.

20. They manage conflict.

Workplace conflict is inevitable. Rather than avoid conflict, successful managers seek to address difficult situations professionally and respectfully. They engage in difficult conversations, seek common ground, and preserve relationships.

21. They admit mistakes.

Making mistakes is part of life. Effective leadership calls for transparency and accountability. Successful managers, therefore, admit their mistakes, learn from them, and do better next time.

22. They are humble.

The best managers are humble. Many associate humility with weakness. But, in fact, humility is the ability to accurately assess one’s own strengths and limitations. It takes sober judgment and confidence to self-assess. Genuine humility is an attractive quality and inspires an environment of honesty and trust.

23. They strive for work-life balance.

Maintaining a high-performance work culture requires work-life balance. The best managers work to ensure that their teams stay engaged by encouraging time off and leading by example. All leaders need time to recharge. Taking time off to rest, connect with loved ones, and pursue personal interests puts work into perspective and makes managers more relatable as people.

24. They support their teams.

Managers cannot succeed without the support of their teams. The best managers empower their teams by allowing them to take ownership for their work. Successful managers provide their teams with the encouragement, tools, and resources they need to get their jobs done.

25. They say, “Thank you.”

In a performance driven workplace, expressing gratitude is often overlooked. Thanking others for their contributions let’s them know they are appreciated and valued. Saying “thank you” takes a few seconds of time. But, the impact can last a lifetime.

Valentine Quotes

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I decided to put together a collection of love quotes for your browsing pleasure.

I reached far and wide across songs, movies, and famous people to find some of the best love quotes available.

Love Quotes Teach Us that Love Shapes Your Experience

My most important lessons in love are that love is what you make of it, the more you give, the more you get, true love is falling in love with the same person over and over again, and I also learned that “Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most.”

Top 10 Love Quotes

I selected a few of my favorite love quotes for a top 10 list:

  1. “I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” — Lucille Ball
  2. “Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.” – Unknown
  3. “Love is not a feeling, it’s an ability.” — Dan in Real Life
  4. “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” — When Harry Met Sally
  5. “One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.” — James Earl Jones
  6. “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life — that word is love.” – Sophocles
  7. “The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” — Allan K. Chalmers
  8. “The best things in life aren’t things.” — Art Buchwald
  9. “There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.” — Milk Money
  10. “You make me want to be a better man.” — As Good As It Gets

Beauty

Is it beauty that makes us fall head over heels?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty ranges from acts of kindness to beautiful looks, and inner beauty can last a lifetime, while outer beauty is up against Mother Nature and gravity.  With that in mind, here are love quotes focused on beauty and love:

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun.”

– William Shakespeare

“Do you love me because I am beautiful or am I beautiful because I am loved?”

– Unknown

“If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon. Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever.”

— A Knight’s Tale

“Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love.”

— William Shakespeare

“See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! Oh that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”

— William Shakespeare

“Things are beautiful if you love them.”

— Jean Anouilh

“Your eyes are the sweetest stars I’ve ever seen.”

— Moulin Rouge

Broken Hearts and Loss

For many people, the pain of a broken bone is nothing like the pain of a broken heart.  Here are love quotes on broken hearts and loss:

“’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

— Alfred Lord Tennyson

“Hearts will be practical only when they are made unbreakable.”

— The Wizard of Oz

“How come we don’t always know when love begins, but we always know when it ends?”

— L.A. Story

“If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on, is to remember them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”

— The Crow

“If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was.”

— Richard Bach

“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.”

– Unknown

“That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.”

— Sixteen Candles

“The hottest love has the coldest end.”

– Socrates

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”

— William Somerset Maugham

“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.”

— Bess Myerson

“Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?”

– Unknown

Falling in Love

There are so many ways to describe the act of falling in love.  Here are some of the best love quotes that do just that:

“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.”

— Woodrow Wyatt

“Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well, that’s what love is like. Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going.”

— Practical Magic

“Do you want to know the easiest way to fall in love? Just associate with all your pleasant experiences with someone, and disassociate from all the unpleasant ones.”

— Richard Bandler

“Fate exists but it can only take you so far, because once you’re there, it’s up to you to make it happen.”

— Can’t Hardly Wait

“Love is like a butterfly, it settles upon you when you least expect it.”

– Unknown

“To be loved, be lovable.”

– Unknown

“Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

— Elvis Presley

Fear

Fear comes with the territory.  Here are some of the best love quotes on fear as it relates to love:

“If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just … passes you by.”

— My Best friend’s Wedding

“I would rather have eyes that cannot see; ears that cannot hear; lips that cannot speak, than a heart that cannot love.”

— Robert Tizon

“Tell her that you love her. You’ve got nothing to lose, and you’ll always regret it if you don’t.”

— Love Actually

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.”

— Barbara De Angelis

“What is love … Oh baby, don’t hurt me … Don’t hurt me no more.”

– Haddaway

Fun

While love can be some serious business, don’t lose your funny bone.  Here are some light-hearted love quotes that might just put a smile on your face:

“If love is the answer, can you please repeat the question?”

– Unknown

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”

— Samuel Johnson

“My husband and I fell in love at first sight… maybe I should have taken a second look.”

— Crimes and Misdemeanors

“Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love.”

— Charlie Brown

“Swoon. I’ll catch you.”

— The English Patient

“You are what I never knew I always wanted.”

— Fools Rush In

“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”

— Melanie Clark

“Your heart is my piñata.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Kissing

Love adds the magic to an otherwise ordinary kiss.  Here are some interesting love quotes about kissing:

“A kiss isn’t worth anything until you give it to somebody else.”

– Unknown

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

— Judy Garland

“Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.”

– Casablanca

“There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C. (before then couples hooked thumbs) … and the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy.  Well, this one left them all behind.”

— The Princess Bride

“What do you want to marry me for anyhow? … So I can kiss you anytime I want.”

– Sweet Home Alabama

“You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time.”

— Never Been Kissed

Love and Life

Some say that it’s love that makes life worth living.  Others say that love is all you need.  Here are some love quotes on love and life:

“A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will have no roses.”

– Unknown

“All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us.”

— The Wonder Years

“Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s everything in between that makes it all worth living.”

— Hope Floats

“Life is messy. Love is messier.”

— Catch and Release

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made – like bread, remade all the time, made new.”

— Ursula K. LeGuin

“Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.”

— Elbert Hubbard

“Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?”

– Unknown

“The rules of fair play do not apply in love and war.”

— John Lyly

“The secret of love is seeking variety in your life together, and never letting routine chords dull the melody of your romance.”

— Unknown

Significance and Meaning

Love can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.  Here are some love quotes on significance and meaning:

“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”

— Roy Croft

“No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.”

– Unknown

“The greatest possession we have costs nothing, it’s known as love.”

— Brian Jett

“There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.”

— Don Juan DeMarco

“To be able to say how much you love is to love but little.”

— Petrarch

“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

– Unknown

“We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love.”

— Mother Teresa

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

— William Shakespeare

“You will see a lot of things, but they will mean nothing to you, if you lose sight of the thing you love.”

— At First Sight

The Power of Love

Love is a powerful thing.   Here are some love quotes on the power of love:

“All you need is love, love, love is all you need.”

– The Beatles

“Faith makes all things possible. Love makes them easy.”

– Unknown

“I will find you. No matter how long it will take, no matter how far.”

— The Last Of The Mohicans

“Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen carefully.”

— The Land Before Time

“Love has given me wings, so I must fly.”

— A Knight’s Tale

“Love is like a knife, it can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that will last a lifetime.”

– Unknown

“Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace, suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste, it all revolves around you.”

— Moulin Rouge

“Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever.. and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you.”

— Meet Joe Black

“The best love is the kind that weakens the soul, that makes us reach for more, that plants fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever.”

— The Notebook

“When a man loves a woman, he can’t keep his mind on nothing else.”

— Percy Sledge

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

— Jimi Hendrix

True Love

True love is what many people seek, and some people find, and others abandon.   Here are some love quotes on true love:

“Don’t say we aren’t right for each other, the way i see it is … we aren’t right for anyone else.”

— The Cutting Edge

“Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her, and without her it must surely end.”

— Don Juan DeMarco

“I am someone else when I’m with you, someone more like myself.”

— Original Sin

“I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to have.”

— Fried Green Tomatoes

“Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.”

– Unknown

“This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”

— Bridges of Madison County

“True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.”

— Kissing A Fool “”

“True love is like a fine wine, the older the better.”

— Fred Jacob

“True love is when your heart and your minds are saying the same thing.”

— Leanna L. Bartram

“Trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with.”

– Unknown

“You’re not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.”

— Good Will Hunting

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

– Unknown

General Love Quotes

Here is a cornucopia of love quotes on general ideas about love:

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

–Mignon McLaughlin

“An immature love says I love you because I need you, but a mature love says I need you because I love you.”

– Unknown

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

— Mother Teresa

“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.”

— The Notebook

“In these dreams I’ve loved you so, that by now I think I know what it’s like to be loved by you. I will love being loved by you.”

— The King and I

“I’ve been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn’t listen. Every time you said ‘Farm Boy do this’ you thought I was answering ‘As you wish’ but that’s only because you were hearing wrong. ‘I love you’ was what it was, but you never heard.”

— The Princess Bride

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.”

— William Shakespeare

“Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they’re gone.”

— The Notebook

“The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.”

— Pascal

“The mark of a true crush, Is that you fall in love first, and grope for reasons afterward.”

–Shana Alexander

“What will NY152 say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.”

— You’ve Got Mail

“When they ask me what I liked best, I’ll tell them it was you.”

— City Of Angels

What’s your favorite love quote of all time?

Conquering Fear

Nelson Mandela:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Bear Grylls:

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.”

Rosa Parks:

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.”

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”

Dale Carnegie:

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

 

 

 

William Congreve:

“Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.”

 

 

Helen Keller:

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.”

 

 

Babe Ruth:
“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”

 

 

 

Henry Ford:

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.”

 

 

 

Sarah Parish:

“Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don’t go out on the branch, you’re never going to get the best fruit.”

 

10 THINGS EVERYBODY SHOULD DO IN 2020

1. Pursue something.
Don’t walk in the entire 365 days without having something particular in mind to achieve. Start an income generating project, if you don’t have one already.Just do something!
2. Walk with people wiser or stronger than you.
In 2020, surround yourself with people who will inspire you, who will make you feel you can do better, who will challenge you on.
3. Check your dressing or appearance.
Don’t put on ‘anything’ just because it covers your nakedness. Your appearance tells a lot about you. Iron your clothes neatly. Ladies don’t wear dresses in the name of fashion or trend . Wear more decent but fitting dresses. This is the slogan: Simple but Classy.
4. Check how you talk.
Before you open your mouth, be minded of who you are talking to, where you are talking, when you are talking and also know that your integrity is at stake. In every situation, choose silence over speech unless you don’t have any option.
5. Visitations
Visit old people’s home to appreciate them also orphanage and children in need of special care.  Don’t let them feel unwanted or neglected in the scheme of things.
6. In 2020, be more prayerful.
You can’t live your life thinking things occur merely logically. There’s a Supreme Being who makes things happen, pray to him.🙏
7.Be Resourceful
In 2020, start thinking or planning towards doing more for humanity.
8.Be Positive
In 2020, always think Positive while being Realistic. When you see tigers praying to God, don’t join them. You can be positive that they won’t ‘chop’ you since they are praying but be realistic too that after the prayers, they’ll remain tigers and God will feed them with flesh.
9. Show Gratitude
Buy gifts for your loved ones.    In 2020 try and do something ‘small’ for parents . You have no idea what  goes on in their minds  Let them feel you are not far off
10. Be Thrifty
In 2020, Invest more, save less, spend less. Put your money into investment ventures. Buy T-bills, buy shares, buy fixed deposits, import some goods and sell, be a stock broker, etc. In fact, get more than one stream of income!
****************
The point is, don’t work your life out. Many known names have gone and life goes on. You won’t take your work with you when you die. You are not as important as you think, calm down. Take time off work, go and do medical check-up, visit your family, visit gardens or the beach and appreciate nature and so on….
               *Happy new year*

Dear Valentine

love blog.jpgLove comes in all shapes and sizes and to each his own. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I put together a sampling of 25 movies and what they can teach us about life and love. Even if you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day, enjoy the quotes and perhaps see things in a new light. Sometimes just the right words, are like an old song, sung new.

Here they are:

1. As Good as it Gets – Love can bring out your best. Melvin: “You make me want to be a better man.”

2. Be My Valentine Charlie Brown – Just because you don’t get a Valentine, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable.

3. Casablanca. Kiss like you mean it. Ilsa: “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
It’s the kind of thing you want to hold on to forever.”

4. Casper: Don’t let go. Casper: “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?”

5. Cinderella. It’s what dreams are made of. Cinderella: “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”

6. Dan in Real Life. Love is an ability. Marty: “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.”

7. Don Juan DeMarco. The answer is love. Don Juan: “There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”

8. Ghost. Sometimes you need to hear it. Sam: “Ditto.”

9. It’s a Wonderful Life. We’ll do anything to impress the one we love. George: “What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”

10. Memoirs of a Geisha. Love is a bond. Nobu: “We are tied to each other. I know you feel it too.”

11. My Girl – Butterflies and fuzzy feelings are what first kisses are about. Loss hurts.

12. P.S. I Love You – Cherish the time you have together. It’s part of the journey. Gerry: “If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you”

13. Romeo and Juliet – Puppy love makes you say the darnedest things. Romeo: “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”

14. Runnaway Bride – Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride. But it’s worth it. Maggie: “I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.”

15. Shrek – Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Stay true to you.

16. Sleepless in Seattle. Sometimes, it’s like a snowflake just for you. Sam: “Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”

17. The Bridges of Madison County. You know it when you feel it. Robert Kinkaid: “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”

18. The Crow. Remember them. Sarah: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”

19. The Notebook – If you’ve ever really loved, you know what it’s like to really live. Noah: “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”

20. The Princess Bride – Nothing beats true love. Miracle Max says, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”

21. The Way We Were – Remember how it felt when it wasn’t complicated. Hold on to that. Katie: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.”

22. The Wizard of Oz. Love isn’t meant to be practical. Wizard of Oz: “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”

23. Titanic. Endings can be bitter sweet. Jack: “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”

24. Wedding Crashers – Love more. You’ve got more capacity than you might think you do. John: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”

25. When Harry Met Sally. Sometimes love is like a new lease on life. Harry: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

My favorite (which does not feature in the above list) is more of a question than a quote. It’s from the Movie Bucket List starring Jack Nickelson and Morgan Freeman.

Excerpts from the pyramid scene;

Morgan: “The ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief – when their souls got to the entrance to heaven their gods asked them two questions, their answers determined whether they were admitted or not;

Q.1 have you found joy in your life?
Q.2 has your life brought joy to others?”

The above beliefs might have been surpassed by time but i believe their profound meaning is still relevant to this very day.

As we celebrate all matters love this month, ask yourself the above two questions and find out if they resonate with your inner being because joy is the essence of love.

Happy Valentines!!!

What Starts Here Changes The World

Environment Champion!

My love for commencement speeches brought me to this insightful speech by a highly decorated Navy Admiral. I jotted down the nuggets that spoke to me and I hope they will have the same effect to you as well.

1. Make your bed in the morning when you wake up to perfection.
You will accomplish the first task of the day
It will give you a small sense of pride
It will encourage you to do another task and another and another
By the end of the day that one task completed will turn to many tasks completed
Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.
If you can’t do the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right
And if by chance you have a miserable day you will come home to a bed that is made – and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better
So if you want to change the world, start of by making your bed.

2. You can’t change the world alone, you will need some help. And to truly gain from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the goodwill of strangers and a strong leader for guidance.
Nothing matters but your will to succeed. If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not by their race, religion, size, education or social status.

3. Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up not succeeding.
Life for you will never be perfect, buy you have to get over it and move forward.
Trouble builds inners strength and physical resilience, life is filled with troubles, you will fail, you will likely fail often, it will be painful, it will be discouraging at times.
It will test you to your very core, but if you want to change the world, don’t be afraid of the troubles.

4. If you change the world, sometimes you have to slide down the obstacles head first.
If obstacles come your way, stand your ground, do not walk away, do not act afraid, summon up all your strength and overcome the obstacles and they will vanish.
There are a lot of obstacles in the world, if you hope to succeed, you will have to face them, so if you want to change the world, don’t back down or give in.

5. To be successful in your objectives, it’s important to know that at the darkest moment in life, it is the time you need to be calm & composed.
This is when all your tactical skills, physical power and your inner strength must be brought to bare.
If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moments.

If I have learnt anything during my time traveling the world it is the power of hope, the power of one person, Mandela, MLK , Malala, Wangari Maathai……………………
One person can change the world by giving people hope, so if you want to change the world, start singing when you are deep in trouble.

I wish nothing you nothing less of a dramatically positive life changing 2019!

Dreamer

twirling

Climbing higher mountains

I will not descend downward

Until after I have conquered that fear

Clasping stars within my hands

They shall not stray from my touch

I am a dreamer

My wings lie in my mind

Where they allow me to divide the clouds

As I ascend through their cotton-like tufts

One cannot pierce my heart with any arrow

It is filled with pure bliss and compassion

No one will ever be able to seize that from me

Although at times my eyes may look wounded

My strength has never fled

The Mountain !!!

There were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowlands and the other high in the mountains. The mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains. The lowlanders didn’t know how to climb the mountain. They didn’t know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn’t know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain. Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home. The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another. After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only several hundred feet. Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below. As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby’s mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn’t figured out how to climb. And then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could that be? One man greeted her and said, “We couldn’t climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn’t do it?” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “It wasn’t your baby

What should make you tick?

1. Gratitude

All smiles please!!!

All you have to do is think about the good things in your life. Being grateful will do wonders to your brain. Be thankful that you have your health. Be thankful for your family & friends. It’s important to feel lucky to be alive.

2. Practice something challenging

Whether you are learning a new instrument or learning how to swing upside down at aerial yoga, doing something that you can improve on every day will send endorphins (happy hormones) to your brain. So make sure to challenge yourself.

3. Force yourself to smile

Even if you don’t feel like it, plastering a smile on your face will trick your brain into thinking that you are happy and your mood will instantly lift.

4. Connect with another person

The one thing that really makes humans happy is connecting with others. Whether it’s with a family member, a partner or a friend. If you aren’t happy, just pick up the phone and call someone to feel connected.

5. Stop procrastinating

People who don’t ‘put things off until tomorrow’ are generally happier, as they have a proactive attitude and don’t waste time. Very often completing a task will leave people feeling accomplished and proud, thus making them feel happy.

6. Be intellectually curious

Reading books about complex topics or watching documentaries that explain how the world works, is a trait that most happy people have. Happy people are curious about intellectual topics and enjoy meaningful conversations with others.

7. Openness to new experiences

Whether you try a new dish at a restaurant or sign up for a scuba diving lesson, new experiences make people feel a lot happier than those who don’t want to get out their comfort zone.

8. Physical affection

According to Virginia Satir, a respected American therapist, people need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs for maintenance and twelve hugs for growth. The trickle-down effect of the oxytocin release following a hug can reduce stress and elevate your mood. Make your hugs count.

9. Compassion

Scientists have proven that those who are interested in other peoples’ lives, stories and problems are usually a lot happier than those who are only concerned with themselves. Communicating and connecting with others makes human beings thrive. Compassionate people also tend to do random acts of kindness for people they love and also for strangers. They tend to be happier and more satisfied with their life.

10. Work on strengthening your relationships

A 75-year long study of 268 Harvard undergraduate males looked at life from every aspect, ranging from lifestyle to political views. The most important finding of the unique study was that relationships are the only thing that matter in having a fulfilled and happy life. Nurture your closest relationships and let go of toxic ones.

 

How To Create the Ultimate Relationship

“What love we’ve given, we’ll have forever. What love we fail to give, will be lost for all eternity.”
— Leo Buscaglia

Some of the best relationship advice I learned long ago is that “opposites attract, but similarities bind.”

I also learned that “true love is falling in love with the same person over and over.”

But it’s time to dive deeper.  Much deeper. This article is a deep dive on how to find love, create your ultimate relationship, and improve your relationship skills.

Create a Magnificent Relationship that Feels Like a Dream

Tony Robbins shares his profound knowledge on love and relationships through a variety of videos, programs, and formats.

It’s based on what he’s learned from around the world over many years of experience with thousands of people from all walks of life.

It’s part of his life’s work – to improve the quality of life for as many people as he can, as long as he can.

Tony Robbins has figured out the keys to creating lasting and fulfilling relationships.

It’s not about creating an ordinary relationship.  It’s about creating an extraordinary relationship.

In fact, it’s about creating a truly magnificent relationship — “the kind that is so full of joy, passion, and ecstasy that it feels like a dream.”

The Big Picture of How To Create Your Ultimate Relationship and Ultimate Lover

This article will cover a lot so it’s important to put the big picture together first.

Tony Robbins found the following truths to creating better relationships:

  1. Master Selection and Connection.  You need to master Selection and Connection as the two primary skills for creating your ultimate relationship.
  2. Select your partner consciously.  Your lover is your most important decision in life.  Make it a conscious choice.  Who you choose as a lover will have a huge influence over your ultimate happiness.  Select somebody who matches your vision, who you can share things in common with and love the differences with passion, who you can create a raving fan lover, and who does not conflict with your core values, or other deal breakers.
  3. Start with vision.  The first step is to create a vision for what you really want in your relationship.  What is it that you really want in life that would light you up and excite you?  What’s your vision for what this relationship would create in the world that would inspire you to be in this relationship?  Make it so compelling to you, so exciting and so clear that you get so much emotion you’ll find a way to make it happen.
  4. Focus on where you want to be, not where you are.   Tony Robbins can’t stress this enough, but he says you must focus on what you want, not where you are.  Don’t limit yourself.  Create your impossible dream, make it so emotionally exciting that you can’t help but make it happen, and then you will figure out a way to make your dream come true.  Tony is a master at turning dreams into reality.
  5. Create a list of what you want, what you must not have, and who you must become to attract that relationship.  Create extreme clarity.  Be as specific as possible. You need a vision of what you want in detail in terms of your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual desires.  You also need to know what you MUST NOT have in your relationships so that you don’t destroy them.  Lastly, you need to know the kind of person who you need to become so that you can attract your ultimate relationship.
  6. Don’t destroy your relationships.  You need to know what you MUST NOT have in your relationship.  For example, you MUST NOT have conflicts in your core values with your partners.  So many relationships end because the couple didn’t know what they MUST NOT have in their relationship.
  7. Select a partner that gives you both certainty and uncertainty.  Certainty comes from having a common vision, common values, shared interests, etc.  Uncertainty comes from differences.  This uncertainty creates passion.  You need certainty and passion to keep the relationship growing and exciting.
  8. Connect with your lover through their Six Human Needs.  You create deep connection with your partner by meeting their Six Human Needs.  The more of their needs you meet, the deeper the love and fulfillment you can create.
  9. Create a Raving Fan Lover.  Your goal in your relationship is to create a Raving Fan Lover.  You create a Raving Fan Lover by worshipping your lover.  Through deep admiration, you create an unbreakable bond of trust and enthusiasm.  This deep admiration and appreciation comes from deep self-awareness of your needs, wants, and desires, along with what you will not tolerate.  It also comes from a deep awareness of your lover’s needs, wants, desires, and what they will not tolerate.
  10. Practice the 5 Disciplines of Love.  Practice the 5 Disciplines of Love to cultivate passion and create an ongoing adventure.  By investing in the 5 Disciplines of Love, you can “create a sexy and exciting partnership that lights up every aspect of your life to create a relationship full of earthshaking excitement, joy, and passion.”

If you are ready to create a magnificent, fulfilling relationship, then get ready to learn what it takes to show and grow your love by leaps and bounds.

95% of Your Happiness Will Come from Who You Choose as Your Partner

Who you choose as a partner can have a profound impact on your happiness in this lifetime.

Tony Robbins says:

“The first and most important selection you’re going to make in your life …

I’ll tell you this first …

Ninety-five percent of the happiness you’re going to have in life is going to come from who you select as your partner.

So we’re going to get absolutely clear about what is it that you really want because it’s impossible to get there otherwise.”

Selection and Connection  (the Primary Skills for Love)

According to Tony Robbins, to master love and to master relationships, you need to master the skills of Selection and Connection.

Selection is your ability to choose the right partner.

Connection is your ability to deeply connect with that person on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Your ability to select the right partner and to deeply connect with them will directly affect your ability to create a lasting and fulfilling relationship with deep love.

Start with Your Vision

Where do you start?

You need to start with your vision.

Your vision of your ideal relationship.

And you have to make it exciting and compelling.

So exciting and compelling that your vision of your ideal relationship inspires you and motivates you to take action and to make it happen.

Tony Robbins says:

“I’m single and I don’t have a relationship.”

You’ve got to know how to start.

The first step is to decide what’s your vision for what you really want.

What’s your vision for what you really want?

You can’t make something happen until you get clear.

What was the first step of taking something impossible and making it real?

Focus!

You need a vision.

Without a vision, people what?

Perish!

You need a vision for your relationship.

A vision for what is it I really want most in life, what would excite me, what would light me up?

And I don’t just mean a vision of what that person’s supposed to look like and be like, or what values they have–that could be part of the vision, but also what is your vision for what this relationship would create in the world that would inspire you to be in this relationship.

Because without a vision of what the relationship’s going to be, you’re going to settle for whatever shows up.
All you’ve got to do is get a vision that is so compelling to you, so exciting and so clear that you get so much emotion you’ll figure a way to make it happen.”

How To Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Tony Robbins shares an example of how he created a blueprint for his ideal relationship.

He effectively made a list and wrote down everything he wanted in his partner.

He found the key though is to also make second list where he wrote down everything that he MUST NOT have in his relationship—the things he will not accept in his relationship.

He would rather be alone than be in a relationship that has things from this list.

He also made a third list.  The third list was a list of who he needs to be to attract the kind of relationship that he wants.

Tony Robbins says:

“I’ll tell you what helped me:

If you’re brand new and you’re single, the best way to do this is you sit down and you write down every single thing on Earth you could ever want in the ultimate partner in life.

Your ultimate mate. Your ultimate lover.

Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual.

The way you guys would pitch and catch.

What you would do together, how you’d share.

But every detail on a level of specificity that normally you would think is insane.

And then you’ve got to make a second list, I’ve learned.

And I did this years ago.

I made this list and I read it–it was pretty cool and then I got a relationship.  And that in that relationship, I kind of let it grow because of what most people get in a relationship with.

I didn’t select consciously.”

What Make a Relationship Work

What makes a relationship work is things in common.

Similar values.

Similar dreams or goals or loves or desires.

Tony Robbins says:

“What makes a relationship work is having things in common because what that gives you is the emotion of certainty that allows you to open up and connect.

People like people who are like whom?

Themselves!

So, you like this person and you have certainty about this person.

You have connection with this person because you have similar–you have a connection through interests or values, and you have certainty because, “hey, they’re like me.”

So what makes a relationship work is things in common.”

What Makes a Relationship Passionate

What makes a relationship passionate is uncertainty.

Not knowing and differences!

According to Tony Robbins, one of the secrets to creating a passionate relationship is a healthy combination of mystery and differences.

The differences create attraction, excitement, and intrigue.

The Key to Your Ultimate Relationship is Certainty + Uncertainty

The key to creating your ultimate relationship is to choose a partner that gives you both certainty and uncertainty.

Most people choose one or the other, but the key is to look for both.

Tony Robbins says:

“This is the critical understanding:

Can you have both in the relationship simultaneously?

Yes or no?

Yes, but most people pursue one aspect of their needs, like in the beginning they want the variety and the uncertainty and excitement that comes with that.

And this person is so different than me and so it excites me because I’m quiet and they’re loud and intense and playful.

And then they get around them, they go “Oooh, I want this forever,” and they try to get a hold of this person and very often try to control them.
And then what they want to do is get this place of connection but also control, certainty.

And they try to make their spouse, their boyfriend, their girlfriend, their husband, their wife, like them.

All their being loud was exciting; now it’s loud.

What they were doing in the very beginning.

But now you’re irritated by it.

And if you reinforce somebody or you punish them for being a certain way and try and make them like you, you will have a great friend and no passion.

And they will never go back to the way they were because  they don’t want to lose love or they’ve been rejected so much they don’t want to be in that place.

They start to protect themselves.”

Love Your Differences

You can use your differences as a platform for passion.

The differences can stretch and grow you in ways you don’t expect.

They can also help keep things from going stale, as can happen with certainty.

Uncertainty and differences will help you mix things up and add variety as a spice to your love life.

Tony Robbins says:

“There’s a way to have both.

It’s learning how to honor those differences and enjoy those differences.

Now, some of those you already honor and enjoy, but if you’re gonna honor and enjoy in some areas, some areas are inconvenient.

You don’t like them.

But you’ve got to learn to love what you didn’t like.”

What Destroys a Relationship

Differences between people in a relationship is good.

The right differences.

But there are the wrong kinds of differences, too.

Such as a conflict of core values.

One of your most important lists will be the list of what your relationship MUST NOT have.

This list will save you from starting relationships that just won’t last, because you know what you MUST NOT have in your relationship.

Tony Robbins says:

“Are there some things that are so different than you that they would destroy a relationship?

Yes, like you have certain values that are the core of who you are and if somebody has the opposite, it’d be pretty hard for you to really sustain a quality relationship.

So, the place to start: you make your list of everything you want.

Then you make a list of everything you want.

Then you make a list of everything , and the second list is–really critical:

everything that you must not have in a relationship.

Not should not: there’s lots of things you’d prefer not to have, but MUST NOT have.

By the way, you can get everything you want in a relationship and get two or three things you must never have and you will destroy it.”

Your Goal in a Relationship is to Create a Raving Fan

The single best thing you can do in your relationship is create a Raving Fan.

Tony Robbins says:

“And you’ve got to find a way to constantly improve the amount of joy, passion, and nourishment that’s happening within you and for the person you’re in a relationship with.

If you want to have not just a lover, a husband, a wife, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, whatever your language is, if you want more than that, you want a Raving Fan.

A Raving Fan is somebody, if you were going to use a business metaphor, since there are so many business owners in the room…satisfied customers leave.

I’ll say it again:

Satisfied customers leave.

If they get a much better deal, a much better opportunity, they’ll leave.

But a Raving Fan customer never leaves.”

How To Create a Raving Fan Lover

How do you create a Raving Fan lover?

You worship them.

It sounds extreme but according to Tony Robbins, that’s the key to creating extraordinary relationships.

Tony Robbins says:

“Your goal in a relationship above all else is you want to make sure that you make this person who’s in your life your Raving Fan. 

And there’s only one way to do that:

Worship them.

Not just love them.

You’ve got to worship them.

If you want to have something that’s extraordinary, because that person who is worshipped is not going to leave in a million years.

What makes them know they’re worshipped is the following:

You’ve got to know what do you really want.

Because everyone is different.

We all want love, we want the same needs, but we’ve got to know what we want.”

The Six Human Needs

To create a magnificent relationship that feels like a dream, you need to master the Six Human Needs.

Tony Robbins says that the key to creating a relationship that is pure magic is by meeting your partner’s Six Human Needs.

The Six Human Needs are:

  1. Need 1: Certainty/Comfort
  2. Need 2: Uncertainty/Variety
  3. Need 3: Significance
  4. Need 4: Love & Connection
  5. Need 5: Growth
  6. Need 6: Contribution

First you meet your partner’s needs.  Then you can educate them to meet your needs.

But it starts with you meeting your partner’s needs.

Why?

Because Tony Robbins says you are loving them – and “love is not a trade.”

Need #1. Certainty/Comfort

Our first need is for certainty.

We need a sense of certainty.

We need certainty so we can feel safe.

We need certainty so that we can feel comfortable.

It helps us create predictability in our life so that we can reduce stress.

It helps us create peace-of-mind.

Tony Robbins says:

“The first human need is the need for Certainty.

It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure.

It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure.”

Need #2. Uncertainty/Variety

We need uncertainty in our life.

This is how we break out of boring and predictable routines and ruts.

It’s what wakes us up and keeps us on our toes.

It creates passion and excitement.

Tony Robbins says:

“Let me ask you a question:

Do you like surprises?

If you answered ‘yes,’ you’re kidding yourself!

You like the surprises you want.

The ones you don’t want, you call problems!

But you still need them to put some muscle in your life.

You can’t grow muscle—or character—unless you have something to push back against.”

Need #3. Significance

We need to feel like we are one-of-a-kind.

We need to feel special.

We need to feel like we matter.

We need to feel like we stand out from the crowd.

Tony Robbins says:

“We all need to feel important, special, unique, or needed.

So how do some of us get significance?

You can get it by earning billions of dollars, or collecting academic degrees—distinguishing yourself with a master’s or a PhD.

You can build a giant Twitter following.

Or you can go on The Bachelor or become the next Real Housewife of Orange County.

Some do it by putting tattoos and piercings all over themselves and in places we don’t want to know about.”

Need #4. Love & Connection

We need to feel a sense of connection and love.

We need to feel like somebody really gets us.

We need to feel like we matter to somebody other than ourselves.

We need to feel like we fit in, while we are trying to stand out.

Tony Robbins says:

“The fourth basic need is Love and Connection.

Love is the oxygen of life; it’s what we all want and need most.

When we love completely we feel alive, but when we lose love, the pain is so great that most people settle on connection, the crumbs of love.

You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, or prayer, or walking in nature. If nothing else works, you can get a dog.”

Need #5. Growth

We need to feel like we are growing.

We need to feel like we are getting better or improving in some way, shape, or form.

We need to feel like we are making progress in different areas of our life.

Tony Robbins says:

“If you’re not growing, you’re dying.

If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, how many friends you have, how many people love you—you’re not going to experience real fulfillment.

And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something of value to give.”

Need #6. Contribution

We need to feel a sense of contribution that comes from giving back.

Giving back is a powerful way to feel a sense of good will.

Contributing to a greater good amplifies our feelings of gratitude and appreciation.

Tony Robbins says:

“Corny as it may sound, the secret to living is giving.

Life’s not about me; it’s about we.

Think about it, what’s the first thing you do when you get good or exciting news?

You call somebody you love and share it. Sharing enhances everything you experience.

Life is really about creating meaning.

And meaning does not come from what you get, it comes from what you give.

Ultimately it’s not what you get that will make you happy long term, but rather who you become and what you contribute will.”

What Happens When You Meet Your Partner’s Six Human Needs?

If you want to keep your relationship or create a better one, you need to meet your partner’s Six Human Needs.

The more needs that you meet, the deeper the love you will create.

Tony Robbins says:

“If you’re in a relationship with somebody and you meet one of their needs, you’re going to have an acquaintance.

If you meet two of their needs, you’re going to have a friend.

If you meet three of their needs, you’re going to have a deep friendship or love.

If you meet four of their needs, it’s going to be a deep love.

If you meet five or six of their needs, you’re going to have a love slave.
… They ain’t going anywhere.

But it’s got to be you meeting their needs, not the other way around.”

How To Be the Wealthiest Person in the World

If you want to be the wealthiest person in the world, you have to appreciate what you already have.

Tony Robbins says:

“The ultimate significance in life comes not from something external, but from something internal.

It comes from a sense of esteem for ourselves, which is not something we can ever get from someone else.

People can tell you you’re beautiful, smart, intelligent, the best, or they can tell you that you are the most horrible human being on earth—but what matters is what you think about yourself.

Whether or not you believe that deep inside you are continuing to grow and push yourself, to do and give more than was comfortable or you even thought possible.

The wealthiest person on earth is one who appreciates.”

The 5 Disciplines of Love

To grow your love, you need to feed your love.

To feed your love, Tony Robbins shares the 5 Disciplines of Love.

The 5 Disciplines of Love are habits and practices that you can invest in that will fuel your love and help you build your ultimate relationship and your limitless love.

The 5 Disciplines of Love:

  1. The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion
  2. The Discipline of Absolute Courage & Vulnerability
  3. The Discipline of Knowing the Truth
  4. The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth
  5. The Discipline of Giving Freedom

Let’s elaborate on each one …

Discipline #1. The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion

The first Discipline of Love is unconditional love.

It’s the ability to really get your partner, without judging or criticizing them.

It’s about understanding their inner world and loving them unconditionally.

Tony Robbins says:

“Always put your lover first—it’s not about you! When you fully develop the skill of heartfelt understanding, you become conscious of your partner’s inner life.

Rather than being an observer and critic, you feel what they feel and you will discover the deepest pleasure in your relationship—sexual and otherwise.”

Discipline #2. The Discipline of Absolute Courage & Vulnerability

Don’t lose trust.

Build deep trust by being present and embracing the truth, no matter how tough it gets.

As the saying goes, “the truth shall set you free.”

But in this case, the truth will bring you closer together, while at the same time, creating a deep sense of freedom that no lies could ever create.

Tony Robbins says:

“Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Be present for your lover even during the most painful situations.

Don’t just be physically present, be fully present– giving your lover your undivided focus.

Any time you lose trust, interest or commitment, you drift closer to behaviors of criticism and rejection.

Stay connected!

Cultivate your commitment the way you would a precious flower.

Your relationship will flourish no matter what your life circumstances may be.”

Discipline #3. The Discipline of Knowing the Truth

Don’t play the blame game.

Express yourself from the heart.

Mean what you say, say what you mean, but do so in a loving and respectful way.

Speak the truth, your truth, but own it.  Own your feelings.  Own your story. Own your challenges.

Tony Robbins says:

“Here’s the truth: It’s a no-blame game. There’s an art to expressing mild upset without creating bigger problems.

When you let something bother you, your partner will feel blamed.

However, when something goes wrong, you must express yourself spontaneously, and from the heart.

It’s crucial you set the context carefully for anything you share.

Remember to use phrases that avoid blame.”

Discipline #4. The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth

Trust yourself first.

Don’t let yourself down.

If you let yourself down, you won’t trust yourself and you won’t trust others.

Don’t be afraid to be you—the real you.

Be authentic.

Be yourself.

Be your true self.

When you live and breathe your truth, other people will naturally trust you.

Tony Robbins says:

“Commit to moment-to-moment awareness of the impact of your state.

If the basis of trust is confidence in your partner, then you must begin with confidence in yourself.

Without it, you cannot induce lasting trust in others. When you can be yourself, others will perceive that and build trust in you.

Hold true to the generosity of your highest intentions.”

Discipline #5. The Discipline of Giving Freedom

Set your partner free by forgiving and forgetting.

Don’t bog them down with past mistakes.

If you want true passion and excitement, learn to forgive and forget in a way that truly helps your partner keep learning and growing.

Tony Robbins says:

“The power of forgiving, forgetting and flooding.

Why drag along the baggage of past mistakes?

Whenever we have painful experiences, we can learn from them or use them to punish ourselves or others.

People often blame their partners for past misdeeds.

If you want passion, set your partner free.

See their mistake from their perspective.

Consciously harness the good in life to bring greater pleasure and intimacy.”

How Tony Robbins Created His Ultimate Relationship

Tony Robbins created his ultimate relationship in a very simple way.

He focused on creating clarity for exactly what he wanted in his relationship.

He created clarity around what he did not want in his relationship.

He created clarity clarity around exactly who he needed to become to attract his ultimate relationship.

He used this clarity to create courage and motivation for himself.

He also used this clarity to create focus so he could spend his energy in the right way to move towards what he wanted, and away from what he did not want.

Here is Tony Robbins with his story of how he created his ultimate relationship:

“But, I’ll tell you the first thing I did and I thought everything in my life that I’ve ever created…I went back and did what I asked you to do.

What did I create that was impossible?

How did I do that?

I mean, think about it: I always started by focusing on what I wanted, not where I was.

Isn’t that true?

Only focus on what you want to create.

So I said, “OK< am I committed as a soul to have in a relationship with a woman?”

What do I want in that relationship?

And then what can I not have?

I made these lists and I wrote it for about nine or ten pages.

Maybe by the time I was done with them, mixed-up the list was maybe at twelve.

I’m talking about details.Ridiculous details.

And then, interestingly, as I read that I knew what I had to do because I can look at that list and I did one more thing.

I wrote what I must have in a relationship:

Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, everything.

What I must not have in a relationship with a woman.

And then my third one was what kind of man would I have to be to attract that quality of woman.

Instead of saying ‘how come I don’t have this person.’

Because, if you focus on the outside, you’ll always be screwed up because you’ll always blame somebody else.

I went OK, clarity first.

What do I need?

What am I committed to?

What do I want?

Clarity: what must I be for that type of person to be in my life?

How many follow these steps?”

What’s Next?

Well, we covered a lot of ground.

If you don’t have your vision for your ultimate relationship, that’s a great place to start.

If you don’t have your 3 lists – what you want, what you MUST NOT have, and who you must become – now is a great time to put those together.

Dream Big Quotes

 

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

Do you remember how to spread the wings of your imagination wide and let your mind soar?

Don’t let the wear and tear of the day (or the years) clip your wings or bog you down.

Let’s dream big — Big dreams light your inner fire and provide the ongoing fuel for your burning desire.

You already know how to dream big … but maybe you forgot.

Just in case, I put together a deep collection of quotes to help you dream big, again.

Here are wise words from Ayn Rand, Edgar Allen Poe, Edison, Emerson, Jiminy Cricket, Mark Twain, Thoreau and more to help you remember how to dream big again and revive the art of the possible … YOUR possible.

Top 10 Dream Big Quotes

  1. “Dreams come in a size too big so that we may grow into them.” — Josie Bisse
  2. “Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
  3. “For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” — Leonard da Vinci
  4. “It’s better to have an impossible dream than no dream at all.” – Anonymous
  5. “Life is short, live bold! Be heard, be you, dream big, take risks, don’t wait.” – Misty Gibbs
  6. “Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.” – Life’s Little Instructions
  7. “No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” – Anonymous
  8. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
  9. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
    — Henry Stanley Haskins
  10. “Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.” — Goethe

The Dream Big Quotes Collection

 

“A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.”Joyce A. Myers

 

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch beaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.  Always believe in yourself.”Anonymous

 

“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. A goal is what specifically you intend to make happen. Dreams and goals should be just out of your present reach but not out of sight. Dreams and goals are coming attractions in your life.” — Joseph Campbell

 

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.”John Maxwell

 

“A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.”Zadoc Rabinowitz

 

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” — Lewis Carroll

 

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naïve and have an idea that is obviously impossible.”Frank Richards

 

“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.” — William Faulkner

 

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”Walt Disney

 

“All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we were born, and no matter how hard we’ve tried to prove them wrong, they all think it about us now. And the really annoying thing is, they’re probably right.”Cathy Guisewite

 

“All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.”Brian Tracy

 

“All things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default.”Stephen Covey

 

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”Judy Garland

 

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”William Faulkner

 

“Ask yourself, ‘How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true?’ I suggest you answer, ‘As long as it takes’.”Jim Rohn

 

“At a time when opportunism is everything, when hope seems lost, when everything boils down to a cynical business deal, we must find the courage to dream. To reclaim romance. The romance of believing in justice, in freedom, and in dignity. For everybody.”Arundhati Roy

 

“At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable.”Christopher Reeve

“Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living a dream.”Peter McWilliams

 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”Dr. Seuss

 

“Begin to free yourself at once by doing all that is possible with the means you have, and as you proceed in this spirit the way will open for you to do more.”Robert Collier

 

“Believe this, ‘the higher you go, the further you see’ and also ‘the further you see the clearer you hear; the clearer you hear, the wiser you become’!” -? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

 

“Believing in fate produces fate. Believing in freedom will create infinite possibilities.”Ayn Rand

 

“Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.”Adolph Monod

 

“Books, to the reading child, are so much more than books–they are dreams and knowledge, they are a future, and a past.”Esther Meynell

 

“Bravery and adventure! That’s the ticket! Don’t sit and gather moss. Get up, get out, do what you dream of doing, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, and you don’t need to made that particular mistake again, but at least you won’t get old wondering what if you had.” — Garrison Keillo

 

“Capture your dreams and your life becomes full. You can, because you think you can.”Nikita Koloff

Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.”Napoleon Hill

“Climb high; Climb far. Your goal the sky; Your aim the star.”Inscription at Williams College

“Commit yourself to a dream . . . Nobody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why? Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life’s most important battle–he defeated the fear of trying.”Robert H. Schuller

“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the “right stuff” to turn our dreams into reality.”James Womack

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.”Belva Davis

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”Anonymous

“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.”Dan Zadra

“Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.”Wendy Wasserstein

“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.”Joy Page

“Dream as if you’ll live forever… live as if you’ll die today.”James Dean

“Dream big and see further! Sharpen your eyes; you have the eagle’s sight. Quicken your steps; you have the horse’s limbs. All that is a burden for others would be beaten several times by you!” ? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“Dream big dreams! Imagine that you have no limitations and then decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible.”Brian Tracey

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.”James Allen

“Dream your dreams with open eyes and make them come true.”T. E. Lawrence

“Dreams are free, so free your dreams.”Terri Guillemets

“Dreams are the touchstones of our character.”Henry David Thoreau

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” Dr. Dale E. Turner

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.”John Updike

“Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.”Steven Callahan

“Each one of us should lead a life stirring enough to start a movement.”Max Lucado

“Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.”Roger Von Oech

“Even if you can’t just snap your fingers and make a dream come true, you can travel in the direction of your dream, every single day and you can shorten the distance between the two of you.”Douglas Pagels

“Every dreamer works in violent disagreement with their times.”Conway Stone

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ”Harriet Tubman

“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.”Florence Scovel Shinn

“Every life comes with a story … and a possibility for a great adventure.”Kobi Yamada

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”Louisa May Alcott

“For those who dare to dream, there is a whole world to win.”Dhirubhai Ambani

“Great things are only possible with outrageous requests.”Thea Alexander

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”Albert Einstein

“He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Dream lofty dreams and as you dream so shall you become…”James Allen

“Higher and higher who knows what we’ll find; And in the end on dreams we will depend; Cause that’s what love is made of.”Van Halen

“Hold on to your dreams for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.”Leo Buscaglia

“Hope and possibility best describe the art of teaching.”Camille Banks Lee

“Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.”L.J. Suenens

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”Pablo Picasso

“I am the master of my fate:  I am the captain of my soul.” —  William Ernest Henley

“I dream, therefore I become.”Cheryl Grossman

“I have had dreams, and I’ve had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.”Jonas Salk

“I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren’t a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.”David Copperfield

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.”Thomas Jefferson

“I see myself living a life where I am not bound by the opinions others have of me, one where I no longer concern myself with the judgments of others, one in which I believe in myself and my talents, skills and capabilities. I imagine, and therefore bring about, a life where I do not need to justify my existence, where I am free to be who I really am.”Michael Rawls

“I want to be all used up when I die.”George Bernard Shaw

“If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.”Marcel Proust

“If everyone woke up tomorrow morning and said, “It’s possible; whatever it is, it’s possible,” and spent a whole day having an “it’s possible” day, then we would be going down the kind of road I’m interested in–because I do believe it is possible.”John Bird

“If I can dream, I can act. And if I can act, I can become.”Poh Yu Khing

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!”Soren Kierkegaard

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”Henry David Thoreau

“If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.”Vincent van Gogh

“If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.”Ludwig Wittgenstein

“If reality can destroy dreams, then dreams can destroy reality.”Conway Stone

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” Thomas Alva Edison

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”Walt Disney

“If you can imagine it, You can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.”William Arthur Ward

“If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs.”Tony Gaskins

“If you don’t have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?”Jiminy Cricket

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”Henry David Thoreau

“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.” – Les Brown

“If you try to guard yourself against every unlikely danger, you’ll never stretch beyond your comfort zone. Don’t let the ‘what-ifs’ run your life. Follow your dreams and have at it.”Diane Conway

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“If you’re going to love someone or something then don’t be a slow leaking faucet—-be a hurricane.”
? Shannon L. Alder

“In our dreams lies our unfinished work for the world.”Joan Chittister

“In response to those who say to stop dreaming and face reality, I say keep dreaming and make reality.”Kristian Kan, Rich By 25

“In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.”Henry David Thoreau

“Inside each of us are thoughts and beliefs that hinder our dreams from coming true.”Conway Stone

“It doesn’t matter if we think we’re fearless or if we do things while quaking. The important thing is to be true to our own dreams and live authentic lives.”Diane Conway

“It is in the quiet crucible of your personal, private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given.”Wintley Phipps

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”Edmund Hillary

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.”Stephen Butler Leacock

“It must be born in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity to not dream. It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure but low aim is sin!”Helmut Schmidt

“It sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents.”Eric Hoffer

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible!”Walt Disney

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”Hanoch McCarty

“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas: they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.” — Emily Bronte

“Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there’s a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living.”Anonymous

“Let your imagination release your imprisoned possibilities.”Robert H. Schuller

“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.”Anonymous

“Let’s go invent tomorrow instead of worrying about what happened yesterday.”Steve Jobs

“Life is not about discovering our talents; it is about pushing our talents to the limit and discovering our genius.”Robert Brault

“Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life. When people believe one thing and do something else, they are inviting misery. If you give yourself the name, play the game. When you believe something you don’t follow with your heart, intellect, and body, it hurts. Don’t do that to yourself. Live your belief, or let that belief go. If you are not actively living a belief, it’s not really your belief, anyway.” John-Roger

“Look, there are no shortcuts in golf, and there are no shortcuts in life. You have to work for it. Dream big and keep your dreams for yourself. Because the dreams that you have are those things that separate you from others. If you give up your dream, you give up hope. And without hope, you are nothing.”Tiger Woods

“Man walks the moon but his soul remains riveted to earth. Once upon a time it was the opposite.”Elie Wiesel

“May your dreams defy the laws of gravity.”H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind, to find out if they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got, and you’ll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.”William James

“My theory has always been, that if we are to dream, the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter, than the gloom of despair.”Thomas Jefferson

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”Earl Nightingale

“No one has ever achieved anything from the smallest to the greatest unless the dream was dreamed first.” —Laura Ingalls Wilder

“Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations.”Ralph Charell

“Not fulfilling your dreams will be a loss to the world, because the world needs everyone’s gift — yours and mine.”Barbara Sher

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.”Tom Clancy

“Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.”Benjamin Disraeli

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”Henry Ford

“Often, what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in.”Robert Brault

“Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.”Frank Gaines

“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.”Terry Pratchett

“Organize your life around your dreams – and watch them come true.”Anonymous

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.”Neil Gaiman

“People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.”Bob Mayer

“People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must be content with borrowed postures, secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.”Warren Bennis

“People’s dreams are made out of what they do all day. The same way a dog that runs after rabbits will dream of rabbits. It’s what you do that makes your soul, not the other way around.”Barbara Kingsolver

“Promise yourself to live your life as a revolution and not just a process of evolution.”Anthony J. D’Angelo

“See the bigger picture of yours and refuse the passport size creature that people think you are! Your nature is large; go for it. Feel free to wake up and print your bigger picture!” -? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world, you will genuinely impress yourself.”Dr. Laura Schlessinger

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”Les Brown

“Some men see things as they are and say ‘why’? Others dream things that never were and say ‘why not’?”George Bernard Shaw

“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”Arnold H. Glasow

“That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.”Neil Gaiman

“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.”Author Unknown

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”Oprah Winfrey

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”Thucydides

“The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer.” — Air Force motto

“The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes with a sharp stick called truth.”Dan Rathe

“The dream is not the destination but the journey.”Diane Sawyer

“The dream is real, my friends. The failure to realize it is the only unreality.”Toni Cade Bambara

“The entrepreneur is essentially a visualizer and an actualizer… He can visualize something, and when he visualizes it he sees exactly how to make it happen.”Robert L. Schwartz

“The excitement, the true excitement, was always in starting again. Nothing’s worse than an accomplished task, a realized dream.”Marilyn Harris

“The frontiers of our dreams always converge with reality.”Gerd De Ley

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”Eleanor Roosevelt

“The future you see is the future you get.”Robert G Allen

“The idea is to seek a vision that gives you purpose in life and then to implement that vision. The vision by itself is one half, one part, of a process. It implies the necessity of living that vision, otherwise the vision will sink back into itself.”Lewis P. Johnson

“The ideal life is in our blood and never will be still. Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing–where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do.”Phillips Brooks

“The impossible is often the untried.”Jim Goodwin

“The more you can dream, the more you can do.”Michael Korda

“The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold.”Kahlil Gibran

“The only limits are, as always, those of vision.”James Broughton

“The permanent temptation of life is to confuse dreams with reality. The permanent defeat of life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality.”James Michener

The problem isn’t that I think so highly of myself. It is just that you think so little of yourself. Live life BIG, BOLD and OUT LOUD!” ? Shannon L. Alder

“The shell must break before the bird can fly.”Alfred Tennyson

“The visible is only the shoreline of the magnificent ocean of the invisible.”John O’Donohue

“The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart–this you will build your life by, and this you will become.”James Lane Allen

“The world is the sum-total of our vital possibilities.”Ortega y Gasset

“The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then pursue it with all your heart.”Chris Widener

“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible–and achieve it.”Pearl S. Buck

These dreams go on when I close my eyes, Every second of the night I live another life.”Heart

“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.”Erma Bombeck

“There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts being broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream–whatever that dream might be.”Pearl S. Buck

“There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.”Neil Gaiman

“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”Douglas Everett

“There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you — just reach deep into yourself!”Terri Guillemets

“There is no straight line to a dream.”Jack Welch

“There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia today, flesh and blood tomorrow.” — Victor Hugo

“They may kill the dreamers, like they did Kennedy, King, Ghandi and Lincoln. But I am convinced that as long as you and I follow our God-given dreams, they will never kill the dream.”Conway Stone

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.”Edgar Allan Poe

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”Carl Bard

“To come to be you must have a vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, a Principle. You will become what your vision is.”Peter Nivio Zarlenga

“Today is your day.  You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!”Oh, the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss

“Trust your hunches…. Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.”Joyce Brothers

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”  — The Lorax, Dr. Seuss

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”Jonathan Swift

“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.”Japanese proverb

“Visionary people are visionary partly because of the very great many things they don’t see.”Berkeley Rice

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they’re called memories. Some take us forward, they’re called dreams.”Jeremy Irons

“We don’t have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.”Susan Taylor

“We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.”Woodrow Wilson

“Welcome to reality! Our time is limited. We might as well get on with it; so why not choose now to live the life of our dreams?”Seth David Chernoff

“What do you always think about? What do you think you can do easily? What do you find peace in your heart to do? Watch those things carefully because among them is something on which you can turn the entire environment surrounding you for your success.” ?- Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?.” — Langston Hughes

“Whatever you begin will see the light of day provided you can dream big and be a ruler over your dreams with persistent actions.” ? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“What’s the purpose of living if you don’t go after your dreams?”Samson Reiny

“When a dream takes hold of you, what can you do? You can run with it, let it run your life, or let it go and think for the rest of your life about what might have been.”Patch Adams

“When I care to be powerful–to use my strength in the service of my vision–then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”Audre Lorde

“When I think of vision, I have in mind the ability to see above and beyond the majority.”Charles Swindoll

“When it is darkest, men see the stars.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.”Greg Anderson

“When you cease to dream, you cease to live.”Malcolm Forbes

“When you have a dream you’ve got to grab it and never let go.”Carol Burnett

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”Paulo Coehlo

“When you wish upon a star, Makes no difference who you are, Anything your heart desires’ Will come to you.”Jiminy Cricket

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”Anonymous

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you are right.”Henry Ford

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”  — Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”Kongzi

“Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go.”Louise Driscol

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”Gloria Steinem

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.”H. Robert Schuller

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”Les Brown

“You are not an accident. You are one of a kind. Your big dream is from God, and its irreplaceable. And you were born to seize it and celebrate it every day of your life!”Bruce Wilkinson

“You can live your dreams if you can embrace change. It’s by taking chances that you’ll learn how to be brave.”Nikita Koloff

“You can often measure a person by the size of his dream.”Robert H. Schuller

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”Oh, the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss

“You fly free.  I’m a bird in a cage.”.Matt Lauer

“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.”A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

“You once thought of me, As a white knight on a steed. Now you know how happy I can be.”Monkees

“You may not know where you’re going, but so long as you spread your wings the winds will carry you.”C. JoyBell C.

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.”Samuel Johnson

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”Buddha

“Your world is as big as you make it.”Georgia Douglas Johnson

Top 10 Leadership Lessons by Jim Kouzes

 

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Jim kouzes is a foremost researcher, award-winning writer, and highly sought after teacher in the field of leadership. 

Jim is co-author of the award-winning and best selling book, The Leadership Challenge.  The Leadership Challenge was the winner of the James A. Hamilton Hospital Administrators’ Book Award and the Critics’ Choice Award, was a BusinessWeek best-seller, and has sold over 1.4 million copies in more than twelve other languages.  The Wall Street Journal has cited Jim as one of the twelve best executive educators in the United States.

Here’s Jim …

Leadership Insights from 950,000 Responses

Since 1982 Barry Posner and I have been exploring together what leaders do to mobilize others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. We’ve coauthored over 30 books, workbooks, and assessment instruments based on our research, including our bestseller, The Leadership Challenge.  Last year we completed one of our most ambitious projects, analyzing 950,000 responses to our Leadership Practices Inventory —80,000 self-assessments from leaders and 870,000 assessments from observers who know those leaders. Over the recent holidays I took a step back from all this data, and asked myself, “If I had to list the Top Ten Leadership Lessons I’ve learned over all these years, what would those Top Ten be?” Here is what I came up with. (Caveat:  We’ve learned a lot more than ten things about leadership, so this is not an exhaustive list. And, I might change this list next week after I reflect some more!)

Top 10 Leadership Lessons

  • Lesson 1. Leadership is everyone’s business.
  • Lesson 2. Credibility is the foundation.
  • Lesson 3: Personal values drive commitment.
  • Lesson 4. You either lead by example, or you don’t lead at all.
  • Lesson 5. Looking forward is a leadership prerequisite.
  • Lesson 6. It’s not just the leaders vision.
  • Lesson 7. Challenge provides the opportunity for greatness.
  • Lesson 8. Leaders are team players.
  • Lesson 9. Leadership is a relationship.
  • Lesson 10. Caring is at the heart of leadership.

Lesson 1. Leadership is everyone’s business.

We keep finding leaders everywhere we look. They come from every type of organization, public and private, government and NGO, high-tech and low-tech, small and large, schools and professional services. They are young and old, male and female, gay and straight, and are present in every ethnic group. They come from every imaginable vocation and avocation. Leadership, in other words, is not the private reserve of a few charismatic men and women who are genetically endowed with some special power.  Similarly, leadership is not about organizational power or authority. It’s also not about celebrity or wealth, the family you are born into, being a CEO, president, general, or prime minister. And it’s definitely not about being a hero. Leadership is a set of skills and abilities that are accessible and learnable by anyone who has the motivation and desire to learn it.

Lesson 2. Credibility is the foundation.

Over these last 26 years we’ve asked people around the world to answer the question, “What do you look for and admire in a leader, someone whose direction you would willingly follow?” (The key word in this question is willingly!) What we’ve found in our investigation of admired leader qualities is that, more than anything, people want leaders who are credible. Quite simply, people need to believe in their leaders. Because our findings have been so pervasive and consistent, we’ve come to identify it as “The First Law of Leadership”: If you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message.

And, what is credibility behaviorally? How do you know it when you see it?  When we ask these questions, the responses we get are essentially the same, regardless of how they are phrased. Credible leaders walk the talk, practice what they preach, are consistent in word and deed, put their money where their mouth is, and follow through on promises. This has led us to the Second Law of Leadership: To become a credible leader you must Do What You Say You Will Do, or DWYSYWD for short.

Lesson 3: Personal values drive commitment.

DWYSYWD has to fundamental parts to it—the say part and the do part. People expect their leaders to stand up for their beliefs.  But to stand up for your beliefs, you have to know what you stand for. To walk the talk, you have to have a talk to walk.  To do what you say, you have to know what you want to say.  To earn and sustain personal credibility, you must first be able to clearly articulate deeply held beliefs.  And we know from our research that those leaders who are the clearest about their own values, and who see the fit between their own values and the values of the organizations they serve, are the most committed leaders.  Personal values clarity is essential to commitment…and to integrity and authenticity.

Lesson 4. You either lead by example, or you don’t lead at all.

The second part of earning credibility—or, DWYSYWD—is the “do” part. The only way people know we value something is when they see it in action. When leaders practice what they preach they become role models for their constituents, and leaders who are seen as exemplary role models have higher performing units. In fact, in our most recent analysis of over 950,000 responses to our Leadership Practices Inventory, we found that Model the Way is the leadership practice that has more impact on constituents’ performance than any of the other Five Practices in our model. If you could only do one thing as a leader to energize the performance of others, it would be, based on our data, to be set an example based on a set of shared values.

Lesson 5. Looking forward is a leadership prerequisite.

In our most recent surveys, 72 percent of respondents selected the “forward-looking” as one of their most sought-after leadership characteristics. Among the most senior executives, the percentage expecting this quality is 88 percent. People expect leaders to have a sense of direction and a concern for the future of the organization. Exemplary leaders are able to envision the future, to gaze across the horizon of time and imagine the greater opportunities to come.  They are able to develop a unique image of the future. This ability, more than any of the other leadership skills, differentiates leaders from individual contributors.

Lesson 6. It’s not just the leaders vision.

At some point during all this talk over the years about the importance of being future-oriented, leaders got the sense that they were the ones who had to be the visionaries. Wrong! This is not what constituents expect. Yes, leaders are expected to be forward-looking, but they aren’t expected to be prophets. Exemplary leadership is not about uttering divinely inspired revelations. What people really want to hear is not just the leader’s vision. They want to hear about their own aspirations. They want to hear how their dreams will come true and their hopes will be fulfilled. The very best leaders understand that they are supposed to Inspire a Shared Vision, not sell their idiosyncratic view of the world.

Lesson 7. Challenge provides the opportunity for greatness.

When we ask people to tell us about their personal best leadership experiences, they talk about times of crisis, adversity, change, and great difficulty. We don’t do our best as leaders when we are maintaining the status quo or when we feel comfortable. The situations that bring out our best are those that challenge us. The study of leadership, then, is the study of how men and women guide people through adversity, uncertainty, hardship, disruption, transformation, transition, recovery, new beginnings, and other significant challenges. It’s also the study of how men and women, in times of constancy and complacency, actively seek to disturb the status quo and awaken new possibilities. Leadership and challenge are simply inseparable.

Lesson 8. Leaders are team players.

Leaders can’t do it alone. No leader in history ever got anything extraordinary done by himself or herself. When it comes to superior performance collaboration out produces both competition and individualistic efforts. And, at the heart of collaboration is trust. Without trust you cannot lead. As one leader put it to us: “I have a strong willingness to be a part of what is going on, rather than apart from.  I don’t think people enjoy working for long stretches for someone who won’t be part of what’s happening.”

Lesson 9. Leadership is a relationship.

Leadership is a relationship between those who choose to lead and those who choose to follow.  Any discussion of leadership must attend to the dynamics of this relationship. Exemplary leaders are devoted to building relationships based on mutual respect and caring, because they know that the quality of the relationship will determine the quality of the results. The emotional intelligence of a leader has more to do with their effectiveness than their experience and their expertise. One leader told us, “I may not be the most knowledgeable person…but I know how to get other people to think well about themselves.” What an awesome ability to have. The very best leaders know that their job is to make others feel powerful and capable, not to acquire power for themselves.

Lesson 10. Caring is at the heart of leadership.

Contrary to a lot of public myth about how managers have to be cold and rational — “it’s not personal, it’s just business” — research indicates just the opposite. The highest performing managers and leaders are the most open and caring. The best demonstrate more affection toward others and want others to be more open with them. Exemplary leaders excel at improving performance through more attention to the human heart.  The climb to the top of the summit is arduous and steep. The challenges are immense and often frightening. Against these odds leaders must sustain hope and offer encouragement. And the research is very clear. High hope leads to high performance.

I hope you’ll add your most important leadership lessons to this list.  The best leaders are the best learners, and I know we have so much more to learn from you.

D’is Thursday

Smell the roses!
Smell the roses!

I just don wanna fuss
just 4 today
4 no reason but just becoz
lift my hands in D’ air
smell the wind blowing thru
careless, carefree
stupid, aimless, foolish
call it what U may

I just don wanna fuss
impulsive, spontaneous
liberty, freedom,
no limit, no restrictions
crazy, breaking D’ norm
living the dream, raising D’ bar

I just don wanna fuss
arising 2 D’ occasion
feeling myself, loving thyself
impersonating thee, celebrating thy own
indulging thy pleasures
enjoying the present, ignoring the worries
no more wishing, wondering, waiting
its now or never

I just don wanna fuss
grateful for this beautiful life
it’s all how U see it i guess
choose hope, choose to dare
live simply, indulge more
a toast 4 U achieving beyond UR wildest dreams!

love
Jambu

Starting is the Hardest Part

 

images“The starting point of all achievement is desire.” — Napoleon Hill

As I figure out how to finally get serious about a few things, I remind myself that starting is the hardest part.

But more importantly, I need to remind myself how to start.

The way to start is to just get started, and do something for a little bit.

If I need to workout, then the key is to go to the gym for a little bit.

If I need to write, then I need to sit down and write for just a little bit.

If I need to practice something, then I just need to practice for a little bit.

Because once I start, I’m over the hump and I quickly get lost in the activity.

So at the end of the day, the secret to starting is…

Just start.

Roho Juu!

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*Roho Juu* is a term commonly used by the so called ‘hustlers’ who wake up early everyday to either seek an employment opportunity or going about their day work schedule in the hope of making ends meet.

It’s usually associated by the common ‘mwana inchi’ who earn a meagre salary or a hand to mouth type of income.

Direct translation would be ‘heart up’ or in simpler explanation ‘high spirited’
This is what I have come to hear, see and be part of ever since I joined the ‘hustling clan’

With so many challenges and obstacles coming their way, it’s easy to give up, call it quits and go home. But day after day, come rain or sunshine, the everyday greeting of *Roho Juu* uplifts and motivates each of us to continue hustling on despite all odds.

The powerful mantra of *Roho Juu* has nany translations all with the same common meaning and most importantly serves the purpose of inspiring our inner-selfs’ to keep sane, afloat and not just carry on but seek to thrive when all seems lost.

Below are synonyms associated with *Roho Juu*

-Undaunted
-Unshaken
-Showing resolution
-Unsubdued
-Fearless & Brave
-Bold & Confident
-Intrepid
-Gallant
-Indomitable
-Steadfast
-Undeterred
-Valiant
-Unfaltering
-Unflinching
-Valorous

If you can identify with *Roho Juu* feel free to add your own interpretation of the same.

Love
Jambu