Category Archives: Health

How To Create the Ultimate Relationship

“What love we’ve given, we’ll have forever. What love we fail to give, will be lost for all eternity.”
— Leo Buscaglia

Some of the best relationship advice I learned long ago is that “opposites attract, but similarities bind.”

I also learned that “true love is falling in love with the same person over and over.”

But it’s time to dive deeper.  Much deeper. This article is a deep dive on how to find love, create your ultimate relationship, and improve your relationship skills.

Create a Magnificent Relationship that Feels Like a Dream

Tony Robbins shares his profound knowledge on love and relationships through a variety of videos, programs, and formats.

It’s based on what he’s learned from around the world over many years of experience with thousands of people from all walks of life.

It’s part of his life’s work – to improve the quality of life for as many people as he can, as long as he can.

Tony Robbins has figured out the keys to creating lasting and fulfilling relationships.

It’s not about creating an ordinary relationship.  It’s about creating an extraordinary relationship.

In fact, it’s about creating a truly magnificent relationship — “the kind that is so full of joy, passion, and ecstasy that it feels like a dream.”

The Big Picture of How To Create Your Ultimate Relationship and Ultimate Lover

This article will cover a lot so it’s important to put the big picture together first.

Tony Robbins found the following truths to creating better relationships:

  1. Master Selection and Connection.  You need to master Selection and Connection as the two primary skills for creating your ultimate relationship.
  2. Select your partner consciously.  Your lover is your most important decision in life.  Make it a conscious choice.  Who you choose as a lover will have a huge influence over your ultimate happiness.  Select somebody who matches your vision, who you can share things in common with and love the differences with passion, who you can create a raving fan lover, and who does not conflict with your core values, or other deal breakers.
  3. Start with vision.  The first step is to create a vision for what you really want in your relationship.  What is it that you really want in life that would light you up and excite you?  What’s your vision for what this relationship would create in the world that would inspire you to be in this relationship?  Make it so compelling to you, so exciting and so clear that you get so much emotion you’ll find a way to make it happen.
  4. Focus on where you want to be, not where you are.   Tony Robbins can’t stress this enough, but he says you must focus on what you want, not where you are.  Don’t limit yourself.  Create your impossible dream, make it so emotionally exciting that you can’t help but make it happen, and then you will figure out a way to make your dream come true.  Tony is a master at turning dreams into reality.
  5. Create a list of what you want, what you must not have, and who you must become to attract that relationship.  Create extreme clarity.  Be as specific as possible. You need a vision of what you want in detail in terms of your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual desires.  You also need to know what you MUST NOT have in your relationships so that you don’t destroy them.  Lastly, you need to know the kind of person who you need to become so that you can attract your ultimate relationship.
  6. Don’t destroy your relationships.  You need to know what you MUST NOT have in your relationship.  For example, you MUST NOT have conflicts in your core values with your partners.  So many relationships end because the couple didn’t know what they MUST NOT have in their relationship.
  7. Select a partner that gives you both certainty and uncertainty.  Certainty comes from having a common vision, common values, shared interests, etc.  Uncertainty comes from differences.  This uncertainty creates passion.  You need certainty and passion to keep the relationship growing and exciting.
  8. Connect with your lover through their Six Human Needs.  You create deep connection with your partner by meeting their Six Human Needs.  The more of their needs you meet, the deeper the love and fulfillment you can create.
  9. Create a Raving Fan Lover.  Your goal in your relationship is to create a Raving Fan Lover.  You create a Raving Fan Lover by worshipping your lover.  Through deep admiration, you create an unbreakable bond of trust and enthusiasm.  This deep admiration and appreciation comes from deep self-awareness of your needs, wants, and desires, along with what you will not tolerate.  It also comes from a deep awareness of your lover’s needs, wants, desires, and what they will not tolerate.
  10. Practice the 5 Disciplines of Love.  Practice the 5 Disciplines of Love to cultivate passion and create an ongoing adventure.  By investing in the 5 Disciplines of Love, you can “create a sexy and exciting partnership that lights up every aspect of your life to create a relationship full of earthshaking excitement, joy, and passion.”

If you are ready to create a magnificent, fulfilling relationship, then get ready to learn what it takes to show and grow your love by leaps and bounds.

95% of Your Happiness Will Come from Who You Choose as Your Partner

Who you choose as a partner can have a profound impact on your happiness in this lifetime.

Tony Robbins says:

“The first and most important selection you’re going to make in your life …

I’ll tell you this first …

Ninety-five percent of the happiness you’re going to have in life is going to come from who you select as your partner.

So we’re going to get absolutely clear about what is it that you really want because it’s impossible to get there otherwise.”

Selection and Connection  (the Primary Skills for Love)

According to Tony Robbins, to master love and to master relationships, you need to master the skills of Selection and Connection.

Selection is your ability to choose the right partner.

Connection is your ability to deeply connect with that person on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Your ability to select the right partner and to deeply connect with them will directly affect your ability to create a lasting and fulfilling relationship with deep love.

Start with Your Vision

Where do you start?

You need to start with your vision.

Your vision of your ideal relationship.

And you have to make it exciting and compelling.

So exciting and compelling that your vision of your ideal relationship inspires you and motivates you to take action and to make it happen.

Tony Robbins says:

“I’m single and I don’t have a relationship.”

You’ve got to know how to start.

The first step is to decide what’s your vision for what you really want.

What’s your vision for what you really want?

You can’t make something happen until you get clear.

What was the first step of taking something impossible and making it real?

Focus!

You need a vision.

Without a vision, people what?

Perish!

You need a vision for your relationship.

A vision for what is it I really want most in life, what would excite me, what would light me up?

And I don’t just mean a vision of what that person’s supposed to look like and be like, or what values they have–that could be part of the vision, but also what is your vision for what this relationship would create in the world that would inspire you to be in this relationship.

Because without a vision of what the relationship’s going to be, you’re going to settle for whatever shows up.
All you’ve got to do is get a vision that is so compelling to you, so exciting and so clear that you get so much emotion you’ll figure a way to make it happen.”

How To Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Tony Robbins shares an example of how he created a blueprint for his ideal relationship.

He effectively made a list and wrote down everything he wanted in his partner.

He found the key though is to also make second list where he wrote down everything that he MUST NOT have in his relationship—the things he will not accept in his relationship.

He would rather be alone than be in a relationship that has things from this list.

He also made a third list.  The third list was a list of who he needs to be to attract the kind of relationship that he wants.

Tony Robbins says:

“I’ll tell you what helped me:

If you’re brand new and you’re single, the best way to do this is you sit down and you write down every single thing on Earth you could ever want in the ultimate partner in life.

Your ultimate mate. Your ultimate lover.

Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual.

The way you guys would pitch and catch.

What you would do together, how you’d share.

But every detail on a level of specificity that normally you would think is insane.

And then you’ve got to make a second list, I’ve learned.

And I did this years ago.

I made this list and I read it–it was pretty cool and then I got a relationship.  And that in that relationship, I kind of let it grow because of what most people get in a relationship with.

I didn’t select consciously.”

What Make a Relationship Work

What makes a relationship work is things in common.

Similar values.

Similar dreams or goals or loves or desires.

Tony Robbins says:

“What makes a relationship work is having things in common because what that gives you is the emotion of certainty that allows you to open up and connect.

People like people who are like whom?

Themselves!

So, you like this person and you have certainty about this person.

You have connection with this person because you have similar–you have a connection through interests or values, and you have certainty because, “hey, they’re like me.”

So what makes a relationship work is things in common.”

What Makes a Relationship Passionate

What makes a relationship passionate is uncertainty.

Not knowing and differences!

According to Tony Robbins, one of the secrets to creating a passionate relationship is a healthy combination of mystery and differences.

The differences create attraction, excitement, and intrigue.

The Key to Your Ultimate Relationship is Certainty + Uncertainty

The key to creating your ultimate relationship is to choose a partner that gives you both certainty and uncertainty.

Most people choose one or the other, but the key is to look for both.

Tony Robbins says:

“This is the critical understanding:

Can you have both in the relationship simultaneously?

Yes or no?

Yes, but most people pursue one aspect of their needs, like in the beginning they want the variety and the uncertainty and excitement that comes with that.

And this person is so different than me and so it excites me because I’m quiet and they’re loud and intense and playful.

And then they get around them, they go “Oooh, I want this forever,” and they try to get a hold of this person and very often try to control them.
And then what they want to do is get this place of connection but also control, certainty.

And they try to make their spouse, their boyfriend, their girlfriend, their husband, their wife, like them.

All their being loud was exciting; now it’s loud.

What they were doing in the very beginning.

But now you’re irritated by it.

And if you reinforce somebody or you punish them for being a certain way and try and make them like you, you will have a great friend and no passion.

And they will never go back to the way they were because  they don’t want to lose love or they’ve been rejected so much they don’t want to be in that place.

They start to protect themselves.”

Love Your Differences

You can use your differences as a platform for passion.

The differences can stretch and grow you in ways you don’t expect.

They can also help keep things from going stale, as can happen with certainty.

Uncertainty and differences will help you mix things up and add variety as a spice to your love life.

Tony Robbins says:

“There’s a way to have both.

It’s learning how to honor those differences and enjoy those differences.

Now, some of those you already honor and enjoy, but if you’re gonna honor and enjoy in some areas, some areas are inconvenient.

You don’t like them.

But you’ve got to learn to love what you didn’t like.”

What Destroys a Relationship

Differences between people in a relationship is good.

The right differences.

But there are the wrong kinds of differences, too.

Such as a conflict of core values.

One of your most important lists will be the list of what your relationship MUST NOT have.

This list will save you from starting relationships that just won’t last, because you know what you MUST NOT have in your relationship.

Tony Robbins says:

“Are there some things that are so different than you that they would destroy a relationship?

Yes, like you have certain values that are the core of who you are and if somebody has the opposite, it’d be pretty hard for you to really sustain a quality relationship.

So, the place to start: you make your list of everything you want.

Then you make a list of everything you want.

Then you make a list of everything , and the second list is–really critical:

everything that you must not have in a relationship.

Not should not: there’s lots of things you’d prefer not to have, but MUST NOT have.

By the way, you can get everything you want in a relationship and get two or three things you must never have and you will destroy it.”

Your Goal in a Relationship is to Create a Raving Fan

The single best thing you can do in your relationship is create a Raving Fan.

Tony Robbins says:

“And you’ve got to find a way to constantly improve the amount of joy, passion, and nourishment that’s happening within you and for the person you’re in a relationship with.

If you want to have not just a lover, a husband, a wife, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, whatever your language is, if you want more than that, you want a Raving Fan.

A Raving Fan is somebody, if you were going to use a business metaphor, since there are so many business owners in the room…satisfied customers leave.

I’ll say it again:

Satisfied customers leave.

If they get a much better deal, a much better opportunity, they’ll leave.

But a Raving Fan customer never leaves.”

How To Create a Raving Fan Lover

How do you create a Raving Fan lover?

You worship them.

It sounds extreme but according to Tony Robbins, that’s the key to creating extraordinary relationships.

Tony Robbins says:

“Your goal in a relationship above all else is you want to make sure that you make this person who’s in your life your Raving Fan. 

And there’s only one way to do that:

Worship them.

Not just love them.

You’ve got to worship them.

If you want to have something that’s extraordinary, because that person who is worshipped is not going to leave in a million years.

What makes them know they’re worshipped is the following:

You’ve got to know what do you really want.

Because everyone is different.

We all want love, we want the same needs, but we’ve got to know what we want.”

The Six Human Needs

To create a magnificent relationship that feels like a dream, you need to master the Six Human Needs.

Tony Robbins says that the key to creating a relationship that is pure magic is by meeting your partner’s Six Human Needs.

The Six Human Needs are:

  1. Need 1: Certainty/Comfort
  2. Need 2: Uncertainty/Variety
  3. Need 3: Significance
  4. Need 4: Love & Connection
  5. Need 5: Growth
  6. Need 6: Contribution

First you meet your partner’s needs.  Then you can educate them to meet your needs.

But it starts with you meeting your partner’s needs.

Why?

Because Tony Robbins says you are loving them – and “love is not a trade.”

Need #1. Certainty/Comfort

Our first need is for certainty.

We need a sense of certainty.

We need certainty so we can feel safe.

We need certainty so that we can feel comfortable.

It helps us create predictability in our life so that we can reduce stress.

It helps us create peace-of-mind.

Tony Robbins says:

“The first human need is the need for Certainty.

It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure.

It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure.”

Need #2. Uncertainty/Variety

We need uncertainty in our life.

This is how we break out of boring and predictable routines and ruts.

It’s what wakes us up and keeps us on our toes.

It creates passion and excitement.

Tony Robbins says:

“Let me ask you a question:

Do you like surprises?

If you answered ‘yes,’ you’re kidding yourself!

You like the surprises you want.

The ones you don’t want, you call problems!

But you still need them to put some muscle in your life.

You can’t grow muscle—or character—unless you have something to push back against.”

Need #3. Significance

We need to feel like we are one-of-a-kind.

We need to feel special.

We need to feel like we matter.

We need to feel like we stand out from the crowd.

Tony Robbins says:

“We all need to feel important, special, unique, or needed.

So how do some of us get significance?

You can get it by earning billions of dollars, or collecting academic degrees—distinguishing yourself with a master’s or a PhD.

You can build a giant Twitter following.

Or you can go on The Bachelor or become the next Real Housewife of Orange County.

Some do it by putting tattoos and piercings all over themselves and in places we don’t want to know about.”

Need #4. Love & Connection

We need to feel a sense of connection and love.

We need to feel like somebody really gets us.

We need to feel like we matter to somebody other than ourselves.

We need to feel like we fit in, while we are trying to stand out.

Tony Robbins says:

“The fourth basic need is Love and Connection.

Love is the oxygen of life; it’s what we all want and need most.

When we love completely we feel alive, but when we lose love, the pain is so great that most people settle on connection, the crumbs of love.

You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, or prayer, or walking in nature. If nothing else works, you can get a dog.”

Need #5. Growth

We need to feel like we are growing.

We need to feel like we are getting better or improving in some way, shape, or form.

We need to feel like we are making progress in different areas of our life.

Tony Robbins says:

“If you’re not growing, you’re dying.

If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, how many friends you have, how many people love you—you’re not going to experience real fulfillment.

And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something of value to give.”

Need #6. Contribution

We need to feel a sense of contribution that comes from giving back.

Giving back is a powerful way to feel a sense of good will.

Contributing to a greater good amplifies our feelings of gratitude and appreciation.

Tony Robbins says:

“Corny as it may sound, the secret to living is giving.

Life’s not about me; it’s about we.

Think about it, what’s the first thing you do when you get good or exciting news?

You call somebody you love and share it. Sharing enhances everything you experience.

Life is really about creating meaning.

And meaning does not come from what you get, it comes from what you give.

Ultimately it’s not what you get that will make you happy long term, but rather who you become and what you contribute will.”

What Happens When You Meet Your Partner’s Six Human Needs?

If you want to keep your relationship or create a better one, you need to meet your partner’s Six Human Needs.

The more needs that you meet, the deeper the love you will create.

Tony Robbins says:

“If you’re in a relationship with somebody and you meet one of their needs, you’re going to have an acquaintance.

If you meet two of their needs, you’re going to have a friend.

If you meet three of their needs, you’re going to have a deep friendship or love.

If you meet four of their needs, it’s going to be a deep love.

If you meet five or six of their needs, you’re going to have a love slave.
… They ain’t going anywhere.

But it’s got to be you meeting their needs, not the other way around.”

How To Be the Wealthiest Person in the World

If you want to be the wealthiest person in the world, you have to appreciate what you already have.

Tony Robbins says:

“The ultimate significance in life comes not from something external, but from something internal.

It comes from a sense of esteem for ourselves, which is not something we can ever get from someone else.

People can tell you you’re beautiful, smart, intelligent, the best, or they can tell you that you are the most horrible human being on earth—but what matters is what you think about yourself.

Whether or not you believe that deep inside you are continuing to grow and push yourself, to do and give more than was comfortable or you even thought possible.

The wealthiest person on earth is one who appreciates.”

The 5 Disciplines of Love

To grow your love, you need to feed your love.

To feed your love, Tony Robbins shares the 5 Disciplines of Love.

The 5 Disciplines of Love are habits and practices that you can invest in that will fuel your love and help you build your ultimate relationship and your limitless love.

The 5 Disciplines of Love:

  1. The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion
  2. The Discipline of Absolute Courage & Vulnerability
  3. The Discipline of Knowing the Truth
  4. The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth
  5. The Discipline of Giving Freedom

Let’s elaborate on each one …

Discipline #1. The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion

The first Discipline of Love is unconditional love.

It’s the ability to really get your partner, without judging or criticizing them.

It’s about understanding their inner world and loving them unconditionally.

Tony Robbins says:

“Always put your lover first—it’s not about you! When you fully develop the skill of heartfelt understanding, you become conscious of your partner’s inner life.

Rather than being an observer and critic, you feel what they feel and you will discover the deepest pleasure in your relationship—sexual and otherwise.”

Discipline #2. The Discipline of Absolute Courage & Vulnerability

Don’t lose trust.

Build deep trust by being present and embracing the truth, no matter how tough it gets.

As the saying goes, “the truth shall set you free.”

But in this case, the truth will bring you closer together, while at the same time, creating a deep sense of freedom that no lies could ever create.

Tony Robbins says:

“Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Be present for your lover even during the most painful situations.

Don’t just be physically present, be fully present– giving your lover your undivided focus.

Any time you lose trust, interest or commitment, you drift closer to behaviors of criticism and rejection.

Stay connected!

Cultivate your commitment the way you would a precious flower.

Your relationship will flourish no matter what your life circumstances may be.”

Discipline #3. The Discipline of Knowing the Truth

Don’t play the blame game.

Express yourself from the heart.

Mean what you say, say what you mean, but do so in a loving and respectful way.

Speak the truth, your truth, but own it.  Own your feelings.  Own your story. Own your challenges.

Tony Robbins says:

“Here’s the truth: It’s a no-blame game. There’s an art to expressing mild upset without creating bigger problems.

When you let something bother you, your partner will feel blamed.

However, when something goes wrong, you must express yourself spontaneously, and from the heart.

It’s crucial you set the context carefully for anything you share.

Remember to use phrases that avoid blame.”

Discipline #4. The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth

Trust yourself first.

Don’t let yourself down.

If you let yourself down, you won’t trust yourself and you won’t trust others.

Don’t be afraid to be you—the real you.

Be authentic.

Be yourself.

Be your true self.

When you live and breathe your truth, other people will naturally trust you.

Tony Robbins says:

“Commit to moment-to-moment awareness of the impact of your state.

If the basis of trust is confidence in your partner, then you must begin with confidence in yourself.

Without it, you cannot induce lasting trust in others. When you can be yourself, others will perceive that and build trust in you.

Hold true to the generosity of your highest intentions.”

Discipline #5. The Discipline of Giving Freedom

Set your partner free by forgiving and forgetting.

Don’t bog them down with past mistakes.

If you want true passion and excitement, learn to forgive and forget in a way that truly helps your partner keep learning and growing.

Tony Robbins says:

“The power of forgiving, forgetting and flooding.

Why drag along the baggage of past mistakes?

Whenever we have painful experiences, we can learn from them or use them to punish ourselves or others.

People often blame their partners for past misdeeds.

If you want passion, set your partner free.

See their mistake from their perspective.

Consciously harness the good in life to bring greater pleasure and intimacy.”

How Tony Robbins Created His Ultimate Relationship

Tony Robbins created his ultimate relationship in a very simple way.

He focused on creating clarity for exactly what he wanted in his relationship.

He created clarity around what he did not want in his relationship.

He created clarity clarity around exactly who he needed to become to attract his ultimate relationship.

He used this clarity to create courage and motivation for himself.

He also used this clarity to create focus so he could spend his energy in the right way to move towards what he wanted, and away from what he did not want.

Here is Tony Robbins with his story of how he created his ultimate relationship:

“But, I’ll tell you the first thing I did and I thought everything in my life that I’ve ever created…I went back and did what I asked you to do.

What did I create that was impossible?

How did I do that?

I mean, think about it: I always started by focusing on what I wanted, not where I was.

Isn’t that true?

Only focus on what you want to create.

So I said, “OK< am I committed as a soul to have in a relationship with a woman?”

What do I want in that relationship?

And then what can I not have?

I made these lists and I wrote it for about nine or ten pages.

Maybe by the time I was done with them, mixed-up the list was maybe at twelve.

I’m talking about details.Ridiculous details.

And then, interestingly, as I read that I knew what I had to do because I can look at that list and I did one more thing.

I wrote what I must have in a relationship:

Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, everything.

What I must not have in a relationship with a woman.

And then my third one was what kind of man would I have to be to attract that quality of woman.

Instead of saying ‘how come I don’t have this person.’

Because, if you focus on the outside, you’ll always be screwed up because you’ll always blame somebody else.

I went OK, clarity first.

What do I need?

What am I committed to?

What do I want?

Clarity: what must I be for that type of person to be in my life?

How many follow these steps?”

What’s Next?

Well, we covered a lot of ground.

If you don’t have your vision for your ultimate relationship, that’s a great place to start.

If you don’t have your 3 lists – what you want, what you MUST NOT have, and who you must become – now is a great time to put those together.

10 Important Career Lessons Most People Learn Too Late In Life

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I’ve gathered up my top 10 lessons you should take to heart now, before it’s too late!

  1. Life is short. Here’s the thing: Life is too short to put up with a job you hate, a boss who demeans you, or a company with no soul. Many people convince themselves that they can put up with a job or career situation that makes them unhappy because they need the income, because they don’t know if they can find another job, or for some other reason. But the truth is none of us knows how long we have on this earth, and spending too much of it in a bad situation will only make you miserable and regretful. If you’re in this situation, take a step today — no matter how small — toward a better situation.
  2. Social networks matter. You might think that networking events are dull, that it’s boring to chat with coworkers around the watercooler, or that you’re simply a born introvert, but study after study confirms that social networks are vital to our success. In fact, the most successful people tend to have the broadest and most diverse social networks. The more time and effort you put into nurturing your social networks, the more successful you are likely to be.
  3. Sacrificing your health for success or wealth isn’t worth it. Many driven, successful people have a hard time creating work/life balance and can end up burning out or developing serious health problems from stress and overwork. The truth is, it’s much easier to stay healthy than to heal from a problem or disease — and no amount of success or money can replace your health. Don’t take your health for granted and take steps to mitigate stress that could cause problems later.
  4. None of the best moments of your life will take place looking at a screen. In our connected world, it’s tempting to let all the little screens we have access to dictate our lives. But you’ll never reach the end of your life wishing you’d spent more time checking email on your phone. Disconnect regularly and experience real life.
  5. Never stop learning. With the rate at which technologies are changing today, if you decide that you are “done” learning, you will be left behind within a matter of years, if not sooner. The idea that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks is blatantly false, and you will never wake up and regret having invested in your mind by learning something new.
  6. Diversify. Hand in hand with learning, if you stick to only doing what you know, or what you are good at, you may quickly find that you’re only good at one thing. We need to be agile, nimble, and interested in many different things. Otherwise, you could get stuck in a job or career you don’t love, or that goes with the times. Think of the taxi driver threatened by Uber or the customer service person replaced by a chatbot.
  7. You can go fast alone, but you can go farther together. In other words, teamwork makes the dream work. Many people claim they don’t like to work in teams, but the ability to work well in teams is vital if you want to succeed. The idea of the solo auteur is a myth; every big idea needs a team to make it happen.
  8. Worrying doesn’t achieve anything. The antidote to fear and anxiety is action and hustle. If you’re wasting time because you’re afraid to pursue an idea, speak up, or are worried what others will think of you, you won’t achieve your goals. If you push through the worry and the fear, however, and take action, you’ll almost always find that you were worried about nothing.
  9. Failure is not an end. If you give up when you fail, you’ll never learn anything. Instead, look at failure as an opportunity, as the beginning of a new journey. If you do, you’re much more likely to try again and succeed at something else.
  10. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So many people put off their happiness; they think, “I’ll be happy when I get that job, when I lose that weight, when I’m in a relationship, when I’m out of a relationship…” and so on. But we can choose to be happy. Happiness is a habit and a choice. No matter what your situation, if you can approach it with an attitude of happiness, you will be more successful.

Find Your Strengths

 

“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” — Lao Tzuhs

Finding your strengths is one of the best ways to improve your energy and effectiveness.

If you know your unique combination of strengths, and you play to your strengths instead of focus on your weaknesses, you can dramatically amplify your impact.

Don’t Spend Too Much Time in Your Weaknesses

One of the key things that can hold you back is spending too much time on your weaknesses and not enough time on your strengths.  The better you know your strengths and talents, the better you can pick the right situations or job to leverage your innate abilities.

Here are my key take aways:

  • Identify your signature strengths.  Don’t just know what you’re good at.  Identify what you are great at.  This difference makes all the difference in the world.
  • Be your best. The key here is to be your personal best.  This is why modeling somebody else’s success may not come easy for you.  You may not have the same strengths.
  • Cultivate your strengths.  The key is to focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses.  Reducing your weaknesses is not the path to greatness.  Improving your key strengths is your personal path to excellence.
  • Use the sum of your talents.  It’s not about having a single strength, it’s about using the synergy of your strengths.
  • Find a fit for your strengths. Leveraging your strengths turns your work into passion.   What’s work for somebody else is your play if you find the right way to leverage your unique talents.
  • Amplify your results with your network. Once you know your key strengths, you can find the people that complement you in strengths that you lack.

34 Strengths Explained

Familiarize yourself with the 34 key themes of strength.  If you can identify your top five themes, you can use the information to start cultivating your strengths for personal excellence and stop focusing on weaknesses.  Here are the 34 signature themes of strength according to Buckingham and Clifton:

Strength Description
Achiever A relentless need for achievement.
Activator “When can we start?” is a recurring question in your life.
Adaptability You live in the moment.
Analytical “Prove it. Show me why what you are claiming is true.”
Arranger You are a conductor.
Belief You have certain core values that are enduring.
Command You take charge.
Communication You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write.
Competition You have a need to outperform your peers.
Connectedness You know that we are all connected.
Context You look back to understand the present.
Deliberative You identify, assess, and reduce risk.
Developer You see the potential in others.
Discipline Your world needs to be ordered and planned.
Empathy You can sense the emotions of those around you.
Fairness Balance is important to you.
Focus Your goals are your compass.
Futuristic “Wouldn’t it be great if …” The future fascinates you.
Harmony You look for areas of agreement.
Ideation You are fascinated by ideas.
Inclusiveness “Stretch the circle wider.” You can to include people and make them feel like part of the group.
Individualization You’re intrigued by the unique qualities of each person.
Input You collection information – words, facts, books and quotations.
Intellection You like to think. You like mental activity.
Leaner You love to learn.
Maximizer Excellence, not average, is your measure.
Positivity You are generous with praise, quick with smile, and always on the look out for the positive in the situation.
Relater You derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends.
Responsibility You take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion.
Restorative You love to solve problems.
Self-assurance You have faith in your strengths.
Significance You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people.
Strategic You sort through clutter and find the best route.
Woo You win others over.

Word!

 

“On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” — Anonymous.

Sometimes, to become successful and get closer to the person we can become, we don’t need to add more things — we need to give up on some of them. There are certain things that are universal, which will make you successful if you give up on them, even though each one of us could have a different definition of success. You can give up on some of them today, while it might take a bit longer to give up on others.

  1. Give Up On The Unhealthy Lifestyle.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” — Jim Rohn

If you want to achieve anything in life, everything starts here. First you have to take care of your health, and there are only two things you need to keep in mind:

  1. Healthy Diet.
  2. Physical Activity.

…Small steps, but you will thank yourself one day.

  1. Give Up The Short-term Mindset.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West

Successful people set long-term goals, and they know these aims are merely the result of short-term habits that they need to do every day. These healthy habits shouldn’t be something you do; they should be something you embody. There is a difference between: “Working out to get a summer body” and “Working out because that’s who you are.”

  1. Give Up On Playing Small.

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

If you never try and take great opportunities, or allow your dreams to become realities, you will never unleash your true potential. And the world will never benefit from what you could have achieved. So voice your ideas, don’t be afraid to fail, and certainly don’t be afraid to succeed.

  1. Give Up Your Excuses.

“It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.”― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Successful people know that they are responsible for their life, no matter their starting point, weaknesses, and past failures.

Realising that you are responsible for what happens next in your life is both frightening and exciting. And when you do, that becomes the only way you can become successful, because excuses limit and prevent us from growing personally and professionally.

Own your life; no one else will.

  1. Give Up The Fixed Mindset.

“The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.” ― Robert Greene, Mastery

People with a fixed mindset think their intelligence or talents are simply fixed traits, and that talent alone creates success — without effort. They’re wrong.

Successful people know this. They invest an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, acquire new knowledge, learn new skills and change their perception so that it can benefit their lives.

Remember, who you are today, it’s not who you have to be tomorrow.

  1. Give Up Believing In The “Magic Bullet.”

“Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” — Émile Coué

Overnight success is a myth.

Successful people know that making small continual improvement every day will be compounded over time, and give them desirable results. That is why you should plan for the future, but focus on the day that’s ahead of you, and improve just 1% every day.

  1. Give Up Your Perfectionism.

“Shipping beats perfection.” — Kahn Academy’s Development Mantra

Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how much we try.

Fear of failure (or even fear of success) often prevents us from taking an action and putting our creation out there in the world. But a lot of opportunities will be lost if we wait for the things to be right.

So “ship,” and then improve (that 1%).

  1. Give Up Multi-tasking.

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” ― Winston S. Churchill

Successful people know this. That’s why they choose one thing and then beat it into submission. No matter what it is — a business idea, a conversation, or a workout.

Being fully present and committed to one task, is indispensable.

  1. Give Up Your Need to Control Everything.

“Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us.” — Epictetus, Stoic philosopher

Differentiating these two is important.

Detach from the things you cannot control, and focus on the ones you can, and know that sometimes, the only thing you will be able to control is your attitude towards something.

Remember, “Nobody can be frustrated while saying “Bubbles” in an angry voice”.

  1. Give Up On Saying YES To Things That Don’t Support Your Goals.

“He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.” — James Allen

Successful people know that in order to accomplish their goals, they will have to say NO to certain tasks, activities, and demands from their friends, family, and colleagues. In the short-term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification, but when your goals come to fruition, it will all be worth it.

  1. Give Up The Toxic People.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”― Jim Rohn

People we spend the most time with, add up to who we become.

There are people who are less accomplished in their personal and professional life, and there are people who are more accomplished than us. If you spend time with those who are behind you, your average will go down, and with it, your success. But if you spend time with people who are more accomplished than you, no matter how challenging that might be, you will become more successful.

Take a look at around you, and see if you need to make any changes.

  1. Give Up Your Need To Be Liked.

“The only way to avoid pissing people off is to do nothing important.” — Oliver Emberton

Think of yourself as a market niche.

There will be a lot of people who like that niche, and there will be individuals who don’t. And no matter what you do, you won’t be able to make the entire market like you.

This is entirely natural, and there’s no need to justify yourself. The only thing you can do is to remain authentic, improve and provide value every day, and know that the growing number of “haters” means that you are doing important things.

  1. Give Up Your Dependency on Social Media & Television.

“The trouble is, you think you have time” — Jack Kornfield

Impulsive web browsing and television watching are diseases of today’s society. These two should never be an escape from your life or your goals. Unless your goals depend on either, you should minimize (or even eliminate) your dependency on them, and direct that time towards things that can enrich your life.

 

Dream Big Quotes

 

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

Do you remember how to spread the wings of your imagination wide and let your mind soar?

Don’t let the wear and tear of the day (or the years) clip your wings or bog you down.

Let’s dream big — Big dreams light your inner fire and provide the ongoing fuel for your burning desire.

You already know how to dream big … but maybe you forgot.

Just in case, I put together a deep collection of quotes to help you dream big, again.

Here are wise words from Ayn Rand, Edgar Allen Poe, Edison, Emerson, Jiminy Cricket, Mark Twain, Thoreau and more to help you remember how to dream big again and revive the art of the possible … YOUR possible.

Top 10 Dream Big Quotes

  1. “Dreams come in a size too big so that we may grow into them.” — Josie Bisse
  2. “Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
  3. “For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” — Leonard da Vinci
  4. “It’s better to have an impossible dream than no dream at all.” – Anonymous
  5. “Life is short, live bold! Be heard, be you, dream big, take risks, don’t wait.” – Misty Gibbs
  6. “Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.” – Life’s Little Instructions
  7. “No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” – Anonymous
  8. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
  9. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
    — Henry Stanley Haskins
  10. “Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.” — Goethe

The Dream Big Quotes Collection

 

“A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.”Joyce A. Myers

 

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch beaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.  Always believe in yourself.”Anonymous

 

“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. A goal is what specifically you intend to make happen. Dreams and goals should be just out of your present reach but not out of sight. Dreams and goals are coming attractions in your life.” — Joseph Campbell

 

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.”John Maxwell

 

“A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.”Zadoc Rabinowitz

 

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” — Lewis Carroll

 

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naïve and have an idea that is obviously impossible.”Frank Richards

 

“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.” — William Faulkner

 

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”Walt Disney

 

“All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we were born, and no matter how hard we’ve tried to prove them wrong, they all think it about us now. And the really annoying thing is, they’re probably right.”Cathy Guisewite

 

“All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.”Brian Tracy

 

“All things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default.”Stephen Covey

 

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”Judy Garland

 

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”William Faulkner

 

“Ask yourself, ‘How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true?’ I suggest you answer, ‘As long as it takes’.”Jim Rohn

 

“At a time when opportunism is everything, when hope seems lost, when everything boils down to a cynical business deal, we must find the courage to dream. To reclaim romance. The romance of believing in justice, in freedom, and in dignity. For everybody.”Arundhati Roy

 

“At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable.”Christopher Reeve

“Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living a dream.”Peter McWilliams

 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”Dr. Seuss

 

“Begin to free yourself at once by doing all that is possible with the means you have, and as you proceed in this spirit the way will open for you to do more.”Robert Collier

 

“Believe this, ‘the higher you go, the further you see’ and also ‘the further you see the clearer you hear; the clearer you hear, the wiser you become’!” -? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

 

“Believing in fate produces fate. Believing in freedom will create infinite possibilities.”Ayn Rand

 

“Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.”Adolph Monod

 

“Books, to the reading child, are so much more than books–they are dreams and knowledge, they are a future, and a past.”Esther Meynell

 

“Bravery and adventure! That’s the ticket! Don’t sit and gather moss. Get up, get out, do what you dream of doing, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, and you don’t need to made that particular mistake again, but at least you won’t get old wondering what if you had.” — Garrison Keillo

 

“Capture your dreams and your life becomes full. You can, because you think you can.”Nikita Koloff

Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.”Napoleon Hill

“Climb high; Climb far. Your goal the sky; Your aim the star.”Inscription at Williams College

“Commit yourself to a dream . . . Nobody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why? Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life’s most important battle–he defeated the fear of trying.”Robert H. Schuller

“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the “right stuff” to turn our dreams into reality.”James Womack

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.”Belva Davis

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”Anonymous

“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.”Dan Zadra

“Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.”Wendy Wasserstein

“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.”Joy Page

“Dream as if you’ll live forever… live as if you’ll die today.”James Dean

“Dream big and see further! Sharpen your eyes; you have the eagle’s sight. Quicken your steps; you have the horse’s limbs. All that is a burden for others would be beaten several times by you!” ? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“Dream big dreams! Imagine that you have no limitations and then decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible.”Brian Tracey

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.”James Allen

“Dream your dreams with open eyes and make them come true.”T. E. Lawrence

“Dreams are free, so free your dreams.”Terri Guillemets

“Dreams are the touchstones of our character.”Henry David Thoreau

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” Dr. Dale E. Turner

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.”John Updike

“Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.”Steven Callahan

“Each one of us should lead a life stirring enough to start a movement.”Max Lucado

“Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.”Roger Von Oech

“Even if you can’t just snap your fingers and make a dream come true, you can travel in the direction of your dream, every single day and you can shorten the distance between the two of you.”Douglas Pagels

“Every dreamer works in violent disagreement with their times.”Conway Stone

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ”Harriet Tubman

“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.”Florence Scovel Shinn

“Every life comes with a story … and a possibility for a great adventure.”Kobi Yamada

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”Louisa May Alcott

“For those who dare to dream, there is a whole world to win.”Dhirubhai Ambani

“Great things are only possible with outrageous requests.”Thea Alexander

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”Albert Einstein

“He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Dream lofty dreams and as you dream so shall you become…”James Allen

“Higher and higher who knows what we’ll find; And in the end on dreams we will depend; Cause that’s what love is made of.”Van Halen

“Hold on to your dreams for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.”Leo Buscaglia

“Hope and possibility best describe the art of teaching.”Camille Banks Lee

“Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.”L.J. Suenens

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”Pablo Picasso

“I am the master of my fate:  I am the captain of my soul.” —  William Ernest Henley

“I dream, therefore I become.”Cheryl Grossman

“I have had dreams, and I’ve had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.”Jonas Salk

“I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren’t a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.”David Copperfield

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.”Thomas Jefferson

“I see myself living a life where I am not bound by the opinions others have of me, one where I no longer concern myself with the judgments of others, one in which I believe in myself and my talents, skills and capabilities. I imagine, and therefore bring about, a life where I do not need to justify my existence, where I am free to be who I really am.”Michael Rawls

“I want to be all used up when I die.”George Bernard Shaw

“If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.”Marcel Proust

“If everyone woke up tomorrow morning and said, “It’s possible; whatever it is, it’s possible,” and spent a whole day having an “it’s possible” day, then we would be going down the kind of road I’m interested in–because I do believe it is possible.”John Bird

“If I can dream, I can act. And if I can act, I can become.”Poh Yu Khing

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!”Soren Kierkegaard

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”Henry David Thoreau

“If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.”Vincent van Gogh

“If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.”Ludwig Wittgenstein

“If reality can destroy dreams, then dreams can destroy reality.”Conway Stone

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” Thomas Alva Edison

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”Walt Disney

“If you can imagine it, You can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.”William Arthur Ward

“If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs.”Tony Gaskins

“If you don’t have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?”Jiminy Cricket

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”Henry David Thoreau

“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.” – Les Brown

“If you try to guard yourself against every unlikely danger, you’ll never stretch beyond your comfort zone. Don’t let the ‘what-ifs’ run your life. Follow your dreams and have at it.”Diane Conway

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“If you’re going to love someone or something then don’t be a slow leaking faucet—-be a hurricane.”
? Shannon L. Alder

“In our dreams lies our unfinished work for the world.”Joan Chittister

“In response to those who say to stop dreaming and face reality, I say keep dreaming and make reality.”Kristian Kan, Rich By 25

“In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.”Henry David Thoreau

“Inside each of us are thoughts and beliefs that hinder our dreams from coming true.”Conway Stone

“It doesn’t matter if we think we’re fearless or if we do things while quaking. The important thing is to be true to our own dreams and live authentic lives.”Diane Conway

“It is in the quiet crucible of your personal, private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given.”Wintley Phipps

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”Edmund Hillary

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.”Stephen Butler Leacock

“It must be born in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity to not dream. It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure but low aim is sin!”Helmut Schmidt

“It sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents.”Eric Hoffer

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible!”Walt Disney

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”Hanoch McCarty

“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas: they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.” — Emily Bronte

“Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there’s a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living.”Anonymous

“Let your imagination release your imprisoned possibilities.”Robert H. Schuller

“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.”Anonymous

“Let’s go invent tomorrow instead of worrying about what happened yesterday.”Steve Jobs

“Life is not about discovering our talents; it is about pushing our talents to the limit and discovering our genius.”Robert Brault

“Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life. When people believe one thing and do something else, they are inviting misery. If you give yourself the name, play the game. When you believe something you don’t follow with your heart, intellect, and body, it hurts. Don’t do that to yourself. Live your belief, or let that belief go. If you are not actively living a belief, it’s not really your belief, anyway.” John-Roger

“Look, there are no shortcuts in golf, and there are no shortcuts in life. You have to work for it. Dream big and keep your dreams for yourself. Because the dreams that you have are those things that separate you from others. If you give up your dream, you give up hope. And without hope, you are nothing.”Tiger Woods

“Man walks the moon but his soul remains riveted to earth. Once upon a time it was the opposite.”Elie Wiesel

“May your dreams defy the laws of gravity.”H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind, to find out if they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got, and you’ll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.”William James

“My theory has always been, that if we are to dream, the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter, than the gloom of despair.”Thomas Jefferson

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”Earl Nightingale

“No one has ever achieved anything from the smallest to the greatest unless the dream was dreamed first.” —Laura Ingalls Wilder

“Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations.”Ralph Charell

“Not fulfilling your dreams will be a loss to the world, because the world needs everyone’s gift — yours and mine.”Barbara Sher

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.”Tom Clancy

“Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.”Benjamin Disraeli

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”Henry Ford

“Often, what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in.”Robert Brault

“Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.”Frank Gaines

“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.”Terry Pratchett

“Organize your life around your dreams – and watch them come true.”Anonymous

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.”Neil Gaiman

“People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.”Bob Mayer

“People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must be content with borrowed postures, secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.”Warren Bennis

“People’s dreams are made out of what they do all day. The same way a dog that runs after rabbits will dream of rabbits. It’s what you do that makes your soul, not the other way around.”Barbara Kingsolver

“Promise yourself to live your life as a revolution and not just a process of evolution.”Anthony J. D’Angelo

“See the bigger picture of yours and refuse the passport size creature that people think you are! Your nature is large; go for it. Feel free to wake up and print your bigger picture!” -? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world, you will genuinely impress yourself.”Dr. Laura Schlessinger

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”Les Brown

“Some men see things as they are and say ‘why’? Others dream things that never were and say ‘why not’?”George Bernard Shaw

“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”Arnold H. Glasow

“That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.”Neil Gaiman

“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.”Author Unknown

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”Oprah Winfrey

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”Thucydides

“The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer.” — Air Force motto

“The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes with a sharp stick called truth.”Dan Rathe

“The dream is not the destination but the journey.”Diane Sawyer

“The dream is real, my friends. The failure to realize it is the only unreality.”Toni Cade Bambara

“The entrepreneur is essentially a visualizer and an actualizer… He can visualize something, and when he visualizes it he sees exactly how to make it happen.”Robert L. Schwartz

“The excitement, the true excitement, was always in starting again. Nothing’s worse than an accomplished task, a realized dream.”Marilyn Harris

“The frontiers of our dreams always converge with reality.”Gerd De Ley

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”Eleanor Roosevelt

“The future you see is the future you get.”Robert G Allen

“The idea is to seek a vision that gives you purpose in life and then to implement that vision. The vision by itself is one half, one part, of a process. It implies the necessity of living that vision, otherwise the vision will sink back into itself.”Lewis P. Johnson

“The ideal life is in our blood and never will be still. Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing–where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do.”Phillips Brooks

“The impossible is often the untried.”Jim Goodwin

“The more you can dream, the more you can do.”Michael Korda

“The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold.”Kahlil Gibran

“The only limits are, as always, those of vision.”James Broughton

“The permanent temptation of life is to confuse dreams with reality. The permanent defeat of life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality.”James Michener

The problem isn’t that I think so highly of myself. It is just that you think so little of yourself. Live life BIG, BOLD and OUT LOUD!” ? Shannon L. Alder

“The shell must break before the bird can fly.”Alfred Tennyson

“The visible is only the shoreline of the magnificent ocean of the invisible.”John O’Donohue

“The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart–this you will build your life by, and this you will become.”James Lane Allen

“The world is the sum-total of our vital possibilities.”Ortega y Gasset

“The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then pursue it with all your heart.”Chris Widener

“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible–and achieve it.”Pearl S. Buck

These dreams go on when I close my eyes, Every second of the night I live another life.”Heart

“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.”Erma Bombeck

“There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts being broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream–whatever that dream might be.”Pearl S. Buck

“There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.”Neil Gaiman

“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”Douglas Everett

“There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you — just reach deep into yourself!”Terri Guillemets

“There is no straight line to a dream.”Jack Welch

“There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia today, flesh and blood tomorrow.” — Victor Hugo

“They may kill the dreamers, like they did Kennedy, King, Ghandi and Lincoln. But I am convinced that as long as you and I follow our God-given dreams, they will never kill the dream.”Conway Stone

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.”Edgar Allan Poe

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”Carl Bard

“To come to be you must have a vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, a Principle. You will become what your vision is.”Peter Nivio Zarlenga

“Today is your day.  You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!”Oh, the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss

“Trust your hunches…. Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.”Joyce Brothers

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”  — The Lorax, Dr. Seuss

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”Jonathan Swift

“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.”Japanese proverb

“Visionary people are visionary partly because of the very great many things they don’t see.”Berkeley Rice

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they’re called memories. Some take us forward, they’re called dreams.”Jeremy Irons

“We don’t have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.”Susan Taylor

“We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.”Woodrow Wilson

“Welcome to reality! Our time is limited. We might as well get on with it; so why not choose now to live the life of our dreams?”Seth David Chernoff

“What do you always think about? What do you think you can do easily? What do you find peace in your heart to do? Watch those things carefully because among them is something on which you can turn the entire environment surrounding you for your success.” ?- Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?.” — Langston Hughes

“Whatever you begin will see the light of day provided you can dream big and be a ruler over your dreams with persistent actions.” ? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!

“What’s the purpose of living if you don’t go after your dreams?”Samson Reiny

“When a dream takes hold of you, what can you do? You can run with it, let it run your life, or let it go and think for the rest of your life about what might have been.”Patch Adams

“When I care to be powerful–to use my strength in the service of my vision–then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”Audre Lorde

“When I think of vision, I have in mind the ability to see above and beyond the majority.”Charles Swindoll

“When it is darkest, men see the stars.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.”Greg Anderson

“When you cease to dream, you cease to live.”Malcolm Forbes

“When you have a dream you’ve got to grab it and never let go.”Carol Burnett

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”Paulo Coehlo

“When you wish upon a star, Makes no difference who you are, Anything your heart desires’ Will come to you.”Jiminy Cricket

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”Anonymous

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you are right.”Henry Ford

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”  — Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”Kongzi

“Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go.”Louise Driscol

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”Gloria Steinem

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.”H. Robert Schuller

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”Les Brown

“You are not an accident. You are one of a kind. Your big dream is from God, and its irreplaceable. And you were born to seize it and celebrate it every day of your life!”Bruce Wilkinson

“You can live your dreams if you can embrace change. It’s by taking chances that you’ll learn how to be brave.”Nikita Koloff

“You can often measure a person by the size of his dream.”Robert H. Schuller

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”Oh, the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss

“You fly free.  I’m a bird in a cage.”.Matt Lauer

“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.”A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

“You once thought of me, As a white knight on a steed. Now you know how happy I can be.”Monkees

“You may not know where you’re going, but so long as you spread your wings the winds will carry you.”C. JoyBell C.

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.”Samuel Johnson

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”Buddha

“Your world is as big as you make it.”Georgia Douglas Johnson

Great Leaders are Rarely Realistic

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“The belief that becomes truth for me …, is that which allows me the best use of my strengths, the best means of putting my virtues into action.” – André Gide

Great leaders go beyond what other people think is possible or realistic.

What’s realistic for one person, is unrealistic for another.

And vice versa.

Realistic or impossible, is largely shaped by your frame of reference, your mental models, your imagination, your faith, your certainty, and your commitment to what you see in your mind.

Great Leaders Don’t Live by Other People’s Standards

Your frame of reference determines what you think is possible, probable, or realistic.

Great leaders are rarely ‘realistic.’  They are intelligent and they are accurate, but they are not realistic by other people’s standards.  What is realistic for one person, though, is totally different from what is realistic for another person based up on their reference.

Great Leaders Have Great Expectations

Great leaders set a higher bar.  The funny thing is, once you raise the bar, people find a way to jump it.

Gandhi believed he could gain autonomy for India without violently opposing Great Britain — something that had never been done before.  He wasn’t being realistic but he certainly proved to be accurate.  By the same token, it certainly wasn’t realistic for a man to believe he could give the world happiness by building a theme park in the middle of an orange grove and charging people not only for the rides, but even to get in!  At the time, there was no such park in the world.  Yet Walt Disney had a sense of certainty like few people how have ever lived, and his optimism transformed his circumstances.

“Let’s Be Realistic” is Living in Fear

Reality can be your cage if your references and imagination never free you up to see what’s truly possible.

People so often develop limiting beliefs about who they are and what they’re capable of.  Because they haven’t succeeded in the past, they believe they won’t be able to succeed in the future.  As a result, out of their fear of pain, they begin to constantly focus on being ‘realistic.’ Most people who constantly say, ‘Let’s be realistic,’ are really just living in fear, deathly afraid of being disappointed again.  Out of that fear, they develop beliefs that cause them to hesitate, to not give their all — consequently they get limited results.

The Past Does Not Equal the Future

Just because that’s the way it’s always been done, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be.  Or what it could be.

All great leaders, all people who have achieved success in any area of life, know the power of continuously pursuing their vision, even if all the details of how to achieve it aren’t yet available.  If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.

If you need more possibility in your life, then build more frames of reference, and imagine more possibilities.

Keep in mind that while what you know can help you, what you don’t know can help you, too.

Many people have broken records simply because they didn’t know what was possible or *impossible.*

Here is an idea from Joseph Conrad to help inspire you to think in new heights:

Only in men’s imagination does every truth find an effective and undeniable existence.  Imagination, not invention is the supreme master of art, as of life.

Top 10 Leadership Lessons by Jim Kouzes

 

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Jim kouzes is a foremost researcher, award-winning writer, and highly sought after teacher in the field of leadership. 

Jim is co-author of the award-winning and best selling book, The Leadership Challenge.  The Leadership Challenge was the winner of the James A. Hamilton Hospital Administrators’ Book Award and the Critics’ Choice Award, was a BusinessWeek best-seller, and has sold over 1.4 million copies in more than twelve other languages.  The Wall Street Journal has cited Jim as one of the twelve best executive educators in the United States.

Here’s Jim …

Leadership Insights from 950,000 Responses

Since 1982 Barry Posner and I have been exploring together what leaders do to mobilize others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. We’ve coauthored over 30 books, workbooks, and assessment instruments based on our research, including our bestseller, The Leadership Challenge.  Last year we completed one of our most ambitious projects, analyzing 950,000 responses to our Leadership Practices Inventory —80,000 self-assessments from leaders and 870,000 assessments from observers who know those leaders. Over the recent holidays I took a step back from all this data, and asked myself, “If I had to list the Top Ten Leadership Lessons I’ve learned over all these years, what would those Top Ten be?” Here is what I came up with. (Caveat:  We’ve learned a lot more than ten things about leadership, so this is not an exhaustive list. And, I might change this list next week after I reflect some more!)

Top 10 Leadership Lessons

  • Lesson 1. Leadership is everyone’s business.
  • Lesson 2. Credibility is the foundation.
  • Lesson 3: Personal values drive commitment.
  • Lesson 4. You either lead by example, or you don’t lead at all.
  • Lesson 5. Looking forward is a leadership prerequisite.
  • Lesson 6. It’s not just the leaders vision.
  • Lesson 7. Challenge provides the opportunity for greatness.
  • Lesson 8. Leaders are team players.
  • Lesson 9. Leadership is a relationship.
  • Lesson 10. Caring is at the heart of leadership.

Lesson 1. Leadership is everyone’s business.

We keep finding leaders everywhere we look. They come from every type of organization, public and private, government and NGO, high-tech and low-tech, small and large, schools and professional services. They are young and old, male and female, gay and straight, and are present in every ethnic group. They come from every imaginable vocation and avocation. Leadership, in other words, is not the private reserve of a few charismatic men and women who are genetically endowed with some special power.  Similarly, leadership is not about organizational power or authority. It’s also not about celebrity or wealth, the family you are born into, being a CEO, president, general, or prime minister. And it’s definitely not about being a hero. Leadership is a set of skills and abilities that are accessible and learnable by anyone who has the motivation and desire to learn it.

Lesson 2. Credibility is the foundation.

Over these last 26 years we’ve asked people around the world to answer the question, “What do you look for and admire in a leader, someone whose direction you would willingly follow?” (The key word in this question is willingly!) What we’ve found in our investigation of admired leader qualities is that, more than anything, people want leaders who are credible. Quite simply, people need to believe in their leaders. Because our findings have been so pervasive and consistent, we’ve come to identify it as “The First Law of Leadership”: If you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message.

And, what is credibility behaviorally? How do you know it when you see it?  When we ask these questions, the responses we get are essentially the same, regardless of how they are phrased. Credible leaders walk the talk, practice what they preach, are consistent in word and deed, put their money where their mouth is, and follow through on promises. This has led us to the Second Law of Leadership: To become a credible leader you must Do What You Say You Will Do, or DWYSYWD for short.

Lesson 3: Personal values drive commitment.

DWYSYWD has to fundamental parts to it—the say part and the do part. People expect their leaders to stand up for their beliefs.  But to stand up for your beliefs, you have to know what you stand for. To walk the talk, you have to have a talk to walk.  To do what you say, you have to know what you want to say.  To earn and sustain personal credibility, you must first be able to clearly articulate deeply held beliefs.  And we know from our research that those leaders who are the clearest about their own values, and who see the fit between their own values and the values of the organizations they serve, are the most committed leaders.  Personal values clarity is essential to commitment…and to integrity and authenticity.

Lesson 4. You either lead by example, or you don’t lead at all.

The second part of earning credibility—or, DWYSYWD—is the “do” part. The only way people know we value something is when they see it in action. When leaders practice what they preach they become role models for their constituents, and leaders who are seen as exemplary role models have higher performing units. In fact, in our most recent analysis of over 950,000 responses to our Leadership Practices Inventory, we found that Model the Way is the leadership practice that has more impact on constituents’ performance than any of the other Five Practices in our model. If you could only do one thing as a leader to energize the performance of others, it would be, based on our data, to be set an example based on a set of shared values.

Lesson 5. Looking forward is a leadership prerequisite.

In our most recent surveys, 72 percent of respondents selected the “forward-looking” as one of their most sought-after leadership characteristics. Among the most senior executives, the percentage expecting this quality is 88 percent. People expect leaders to have a sense of direction and a concern for the future of the organization. Exemplary leaders are able to envision the future, to gaze across the horizon of time and imagine the greater opportunities to come.  They are able to develop a unique image of the future. This ability, more than any of the other leadership skills, differentiates leaders from individual contributors.

Lesson 6. It’s not just the leaders vision.

At some point during all this talk over the years about the importance of being future-oriented, leaders got the sense that they were the ones who had to be the visionaries. Wrong! This is not what constituents expect. Yes, leaders are expected to be forward-looking, but they aren’t expected to be prophets. Exemplary leadership is not about uttering divinely inspired revelations. What people really want to hear is not just the leader’s vision. They want to hear about their own aspirations. They want to hear how their dreams will come true and their hopes will be fulfilled. The very best leaders understand that they are supposed to Inspire a Shared Vision, not sell their idiosyncratic view of the world.

Lesson 7. Challenge provides the opportunity for greatness.

When we ask people to tell us about their personal best leadership experiences, they talk about times of crisis, adversity, change, and great difficulty. We don’t do our best as leaders when we are maintaining the status quo or when we feel comfortable. The situations that bring out our best are those that challenge us. The study of leadership, then, is the study of how men and women guide people through adversity, uncertainty, hardship, disruption, transformation, transition, recovery, new beginnings, and other significant challenges. It’s also the study of how men and women, in times of constancy and complacency, actively seek to disturb the status quo and awaken new possibilities. Leadership and challenge are simply inseparable.

Lesson 8. Leaders are team players.

Leaders can’t do it alone. No leader in history ever got anything extraordinary done by himself or herself. When it comes to superior performance collaboration out produces both competition and individualistic efforts. And, at the heart of collaboration is trust. Without trust you cannot lead. As one leader put it to us: “I have a strong willingness to be a part of what is going on, rather than apart from.  I don’t think people enjoy working for long stretches for someone who won’t be part of what’s happening.”

Lesson 9. Leadership is a relationship.

Leadership is a relationship between those who choose to lead and those who choose to follow.  Any discussion of leadership must attend to the dynamics of this relationship. Exemplary leaders are devoted to building relationships based on mutual respect and caring, because they know that the quality of the relationship will determine the quality of the results. The emotional intelligence of a leader has more to do with their effectiveness than their experience and their expertise. One leader told us, “I may not be the most knowledgeable person…but I know how to get other people to think well about themselves.” What an awesome ability to have. The very best leaders know that their job is to make others feel powerful and capable, not to acquire power for themselves.

Lesson 10. Caring is at the heart of leadership.

Contrary to a lot of public myth about how managers have to be cold and rational — “it’s not personal, it’s just business” — research indicates just the opposite. The highest performing managers and leaders are the most open and caring. The best demonstrate more affection toward others and want others to be more open with them. Exemplary leaders excel at improving performance through more attention to the human heart.  The climb to the top of the summit is arduous and steep. The challenges are immense and often frightening. Against these odds leaders must sustain hope and offer encouragement. And the research is very clear. High hope leads to high performance.

I hope you’ll add your most important leadership lessons to this list.  The best leaders are the best learners, and I know we have so much more to learn from you.

D’is Thursday

Smell the roses!
Smell the roses!

I just don wanna fuss
just 4 today
4 no reason but just becoz
lift my hands in D’ air
smell the wind blowing thru
careless, carefree
stupid, aimless, foolish
call it what U may

I just don wanna fuss
impulsive, spontaneous
liberty, freedom,
no limit, no restrictions
crazy, breaking D’ norm
living the dream, raising D’ bar

I just don wanna fuss
arising 2 D’ occasion
feeling myself, loving thyself
impersonating thee, celebrating thy own
indulging thy pleasures
enjoying the present, ignoring the worries
no more wishing, wondering, waiting
its now or never

I just don wanna fuss
grateful for this beautiful life
it’s all how U see it i guess
choose hope, choose to dare
live simply, indulge more
a toast 4 U achieving beyond UR wildest dreams!

love
Jambu

Bruce Lee’s 3-Minute Workout

 

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“The most important thing to me is, how, in the process of learning how to use my body, can I come to understand myself?”—Bruce Lee

I’m always looking for better ways to get rapid results and realize my physical potential.

Bruce Lee developed a great way to relieve stress from your body, while cultivating exceptional health and fitness benefits for your body, mind, and spirit.

It only takes 3-minutes and you can do it in bed.

Imagine a simple routine that you could do anytime, anywhere, from your bedroom, hotel room, or living room.

Overview of Bruce Lee’s 3-Minute Workout

It’s fast.  It’s simple.  It’s effective.  It won’t make you as lean, muscular, and powerful as Bruce Lee.  Lee had specific exercises for that.

Instead, it will help you kickstart your day, move your body, relieve stress, stretch your muscles, and practice your mindfulness while developing your mind-body connection.

The first four exercises are static contraction, where you hold the movement under tension by contracting your muscles.  The last two exercises you perform in the standard, non-static contraction way.

1. Full Body Stretch

Extend your arms and legs as far as you can and hold for 3 seconds, relax for 2.  Repeat that 5 times.

  • Perform 5 full body stretches.  Extend your legs as far as you can in one direction and reach your arms as far as possible in the opposite direction.  Maintain each stretch for 3 seconds and then relax for 2 seconds.

Total time: 25 seconds

2. Back arches

Arch your back pushing your hips towards the ceiling as high as you can.  Hold for 3 seconds, relax for 2.  Repeat 5 times.

  • Perform 5 back arches: Bend your legs until the backs of your thighs are just touching the backs of your upper calves, and then slowly push your hips upward toward the ceiling while simultaneously flexing your buttocks muscles and pushing gently with your legs.  Maintain each arch for 3 seconds and then relax for 2 seconds.

Total time: 25 seconds

3.  Leg tensing

Extend your legs as far as you can and tense them for 3 seconds, relax for 2.  Repeat 12 times.

  • Perform 12 leg tenses: Slowly extend your legs as far as you can, and then tighten the muscles of your thighs.  Maintain this fully contracted position for 3 seconds.

Total time: 60 seconds

4. Abdominal tensing

Suck in your gut, crunch your abs as tightly as you can.  Hold for 3 seconds, relax for 2.  Repeat 10 times.

  • Perform 10 abdominal tenses: Deliberately and fully contract your abdominal muscles in a manner similar to what you would do if (please forgive the imagery) you were having a bowel movement.  Maintain this maximal contraction for 3 seconds and then relax for 2 seconds.

Total time: 50 seconds

5. Sit-up touching toes

Lie flat on your back, extend your legs all the way, sit up and touch your toes.  Do this 5 times.

  • Perform 5 sit-ups touching toes: Simply place your back flat upon your mattress with your legs fully extended in front of you and your arms extended behind your head.  Now, slowly raise your torso, reaching forward with your hands until they come into contact with your toes.  Hold this position briefly, and then return to the starting position.

Total time: 10 seconds

6. Bent leg raises

Lie flat on your back, raise your legs up toward your chest.  Do this 5 times.

  • Perform 5 bent leg raises.  Place your back flat upon your mattress with your arms outstretched behind your head.  Slowly bend your legs and draw them up toward your chest, pausing briefly once they have been drawn as far back as possible.  Return your legs to the starting position.

Total time: 10 seconds

Your Strength Comes from Your Core

The abs have it.  By working on your core, you build your strength from the inside out, and if you’re really good, you work on your Chi (life force), too.

Bruce Lee placed considerable emphasis on the abdominal region, considering it to be the most important area to keep fit and healthy.  In a newspaper interview in the early 1960’s, Lee commented:

‘My strength comes from my abdomen.  It’s the center of gravity and the source of real power.’”

The Power of Static Contractions

The power of static contractions is that you can do them anywhere, anytime, at your own pace with no dependency on any equipment, gym fees, or special physical abilities.

The barrier to entry is low and the rewards are high, and you get out of it, what you put into it.

Static contractions are simply contracting your muscles and holding the tension.

They are convenient and you can do them anywhere.  For example, nobody stops you from working out your abs, the next time you are in a long, boring meeting.  Simply contract your abs and practice increasing your ability to tense them.  A lot of Pilates practitioners are masters of this move.

  • Bruce Lee place a high premium on the value of static contraction exercises not only recommending it specifically for his students but also incorporating it into his own training.  It is certainly one of the easiest answers for anybody who is looking for a more convenient way to be physically fit
  • Anyone from child to senior citizen, can benefit from Lee’s program of static contraction exercises, and in terms of convenience, it’s truly a method of exercise that has no peer–all it takes is a total of three minutes a day! 
  • Another convenience factor is that these simple exercises can be performed anywhere and at any time (you can do them in your bedroom, hotel room, or living room)–and under almost any conditions.”

No Excuses

There are always reasons to argue why you don’t have time, or it’s too complicated, or you can’t afford it.

But a 3-minute workout that helps you move better, breathe better, be better, is tough to dismiss.

  • Lee’s personal program of static contraction requires no real skill to speak of.  It doesn’t take much practice, and, in fact, it’s one of those rare activities that you actually can do well the very first time
  • It is also a private activity, and like running (of which Lee was also ardent devotee), the competition, so to speak, is against only yourself.  The sessions are short, and the results are quick to reveal themselves. 
  • There exists no need to change into expensive workout clothing, and there are no fancy exercise machines you need to purchase, not any hefty membership fees to lay out to join the local health club. 
  • As for the time investment, nothing has yet to compare with the simple and yet highly effective form of exercise, as, again, only three minutes of exercise performed every morning will increase your overall health to a remarkable degree.”
  • If you can’t invest 3-minutes in yourself before you start your day, something is wrong.  You can’t take care of other people, or function effectively, if you can’t even take care of yourself.

The better you take care of yourself, the better you can serve others, and realize your potential.

An Inspirational Short Story

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How I Made My Millions

I was working all day and took a break for my supper. I was flipping through the channels and just happened to come across a local TV program, How I Made My Millions. I snickered when I saw the title of the program thinking, oh this must be one of those info commercials that promises to make you millions and most of the time you end up spending lots of money and making nothing.

The program came on and I was truly motivated by watching and listening. These were ordinary people, like you and me, with good ideas. They not only talked about their idea, they took action and persevered even though many people laughed at their idea. The last laugh is, of course, on those who originally laughed. The people featured on this show are now millionaires, and they persevered and took the steps necessary to achieve their success. Yes, they had setbacks, and rejection, but that did not deter them from continuing. And, it truly paid off for them.

So often we have a good idea but we don’t take action. Or, we are discouraged at the challenges that face us. We give up far too easily, we don’t persevere.

 I can’t tell you how many times I read the saying on my desk – “persistence prevails when all else fails:. I am now generating a good income – I am not a millionaire – yet – but I continually learn and push the envelope.

The purpose in sharing this story with you is to encourage you to take action on your ideas, and to persist! Learn from your failures, overcome the challenges; and, as Walt Disney once said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

 

Emotional Intelligence Quotes

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One simple definition of emotional intelligence is “the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.”

Emotional Intelligence is the Difference That Makes the Difference

Top 10 Emotional Intelligence Quotes

  1. “There are certain emotions that will kill your drive; frustration and confusion.  You can change these to a positive force.  Frustration means you are on the verge of a breakthrough.  Confusion can mean you are about to learn something.  Expect the breakthrough and expect to learn.”  — Kathleen Spike, Master Certified Coach
  2. “There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning are all linked.” — Eric Jensen
  3. “Use pain as a stepping stone, not a camp ground.” —- Alan Cohen
  4. “We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” -— Marshall B. Rosenberg
  5. “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”  — Daniel Goleman
  6. “We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us — -how we can take it, what we do with it —- and that is what really counts in the end.” —- Joseph Fort Newton
  7. “We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt…” —- Dorothy Day
  8. “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” —- Benjamin Franklin
  9. “When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” – Tara Meyer Robson
  10. “Where we have strong emotions, we’re liable to fool ourselves.” – Carl Sagan

What is Emotional Intelligence?

  • “Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.”  — Robert K. Cooper. Ph.D.
  • “It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head — it is the unique intersection of both.” — David Caruso
  • “The ability to process emotional information, particularly as it involves the perception, assimilation, understanding, and management of emotion.” — Mayer and Cobb
  • “The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions.” — John Mayer and Peter Salovey
  • “We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” — Salovey and Mayer

Why Emotional Intelligence?

  • “75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.”  — The Center for Creative Leadership
  • “All learning has an emotional base.” – Plato
  • “As much as 80% of adult “success” comes from EQ.” — Daniel Goleman
  • “Comparing the three domains, I found that for jobs of all kinds, emotional competencies were twice as prevalent among distinguishing competencies as were technical skills and purely cognitive abilities combined. In general the higher a position in an organization, the more EI mattered: for individuals in leadership positions, 85 percent of their competencies were in the EI domain.”  — Daniel Goleman
  • “Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough.  Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure.”  –Dave Lennick, Executive VP, American Express Financial Advisers
  • “Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the “success” in our lives.” — J. Freedman
  • “Emotions are a critical source of information for learning.” — Joseph LeDoux
  • “Emotions are enmeshed in the neural networks of reason.” — Antonio Dumasio
  • “Emotions are the glue that holds the cells of the organism together.” — Candace Pert
  • “Emotions have taught mankind to reason.” – Luc de Clapiers, marquis de Vauvenargues
  • “I think in the coming decade we will see well-conducted research demonstrating that emotional skills and competencies predict positive outcomes at home with one’s family, in school, and at work. The real challenge is to show that emotional intelligence matters over-and-above psychological constructs that have been measured for decades like personality and IQ. I believe that emotional intelligence holds this promise.” — Peter Salovey
  • “In a study of skills that distinguish star performers in every field from entry-level jobs to executive positions, the single most important factor was not IQ, advanced degrees, or technical experience, it was EQ.  Of the competencies required for excellent in performance in the job studies, 67% were emotional competencies.” — Daniel Goleman
  • “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives.  Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine our success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”  — John Gottman
  • “Just imagine you’re four years old, and someone makes the following proposal: If you’ll wait until after he runs an errand, you can have two marshmallows for a treat. If you can’t wait until then, you can have only one–but you can have it right now. It is a challenge sure to try the soul of any four-year-old, a microcosm of the eternal battle between impulse and restraint, id and ego, desire and self-control, gratification and delay… There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, led to one or another impulse to act.” —  Daniel Goleman
  • “People high in emotional intelligence are expected to progress more quickly through the abilities designated and to master more of them.” — Mayer and Salovey
  • “People in good moods are better at inductive reasoning and creative problem solving.” — Salovey, Mayer, Goldman, Turvey, and Palfai
  • “The 8 Equities: Physical, Spiritual, Psychological, Intellectual, Emotional, Financial, Social and Family.” — Michael Vance
  • “The nervous system and hormone responses of hostile people are a pathway to disease and death.”  — Redford Williams, M.D

Self-Awareness

  • “Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them.” — Robert Henri
  • “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we have a clear picture of it.” — Benedict Spinoza
  • “Experience is not what happens to you — it’s how you interpret what happens to you.” —- Aldous Huxley
  • “Experiencing one’s self in a conscious manner–that is, gaining self-knowledge–is an integral part of learning.” — Joshua M. Freedman
  • “Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.” — David Borenstein
  • “For news of the heart, ask the face.” — West African saying
  • “He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future.” — Quevedo
  • “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you are the one who gets burned.” — Buddha
  • “Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” — Vincent Van Gogh
  • “Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us out in marching onward.” — Henry Ford
  • “Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment based on what you are feeling and thinking. That is what’s real.” — Doc Childre
  • “Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.” — William O’Rourke
  • “Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.” — Walter Weckler
  • “The degree of one’s emotions varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts.” — Bertrand Russell
  • “The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions.” — Donald Calne
  • “The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” — Edmund Burke
  • “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”  — William James
  • “There are emotions which are biologically oriented and then there are complex emotions which are saturated with thoughts and cognition.” — Jack Mayer
  • “There is no thinking without feeling and no feeling without thinking.” — Karen McCown
  • “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” — Kahlil Gibran
  • “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” —- Dale Carnegie
  • “Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” — Roger Ebert
  • “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” —- Khalil Gibran

Self-Management

  • “A merry heart doeth good like medicine.”  — Proverbs 17:22
  • “An emotion occurs when there are certain biological, certain experiential, and certain cognitive states which all occur simultaneously.” — Jack Mayer
  • “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” —- Epictetus
  • “Anyone can be angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.” – Aristotle
  • “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” — Robert Frost
  • “Education is the fire-proofer of emotions.” — Dr. Frank Crane
  • “Emotion turning back on itself, and not leading on to thought or action, is the element of madness.” — John Sterling
  • “Emotions help keep us on the right track by making sure that we are led by more than cognition.” — Maurice Elias
  • “Every time we allow someone to move us with anger, we teach them to be angry.”  — Barry Neil Kaufman
  • “Fear is the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind.” — H. P. Lovecraft
  • “He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.” — Japanese proverb
  • “If we lack emotional intelligence, whenever stress rises the human brain switches to autopilot and has an inherent tendency to do more of the same, only harder.  Which, more often than not, is precisely the wrong approach in today’s world.” — Robert K. Cooper
  • “Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.”  — Deepak Chopra
  • “It is reason, and not passion, which must guide our deliberations, guide our debate, and guide our decision.” — Barbara Jordan
  • “Logic will not change an emotion, but action will.” – Anonymous
  • “Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.” — Joshua L. Liebman
  • “Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.” — Norman Vincent Peale
  • “Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand … prejudice, fear and ignorance walk hand-in-hand.” — Peart
  • “Substance abusers’ key deficits turned out to be problem solving, social responsibility, and stress tolerance. Spousal abusers primarily lacked empathy and had poor impulse control and an inflated self-regard.”  — US Air Force
  • “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.” — Alous Huxley
  • “The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason.” — Marya Mannes
  • “To increase your effectiveness, make your emotions subordinate to your commitments.” — Brian Koslow
  • “Women, on average, tend to be more aware of their emotions, show more empathy, and are more adept interpersonally. Men on the other hand, are more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better.”  — Daniel Goleman

Social Awareness

  • “Adults remain social animals; they continue to require a source of stabilization outside themselves.  That open-loop design means that in some important ways, people cannot be stable on their own — not should or shouldn’t, but can’t be … Stability means finding people who regulate you well and staying near them.”  — Thomas Lewis, M.D.
  • “I think it’s easy to mistake understanding for empathy — we want empathy so badly. … It’s hard and ugly to know somebody can understand you without even liking you.” — Thomas Harris
  • “The eyes have one language everywhere.”  — George Herbert
  • “When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air.”  — Stephen R. Covey

Social Skills

  • “Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding.” — Chinese proverb
  • “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.” — Og Mandino
  • “Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions — so find out how to light their fires.” — Jeff Dewar
  • “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” — Paul Boese
  • “In my 35 years in business I have always trusted my emotions. I have always believed that by touching emotion you get the best people to work with you, the best clients to inspire you, the best partners and most devoted customers.”  — Kevin Roberts
  • “Isolated people have vastly increased rate of premature death from all causes and are 3-5x likelier to die early than people with strong social ties.”  — Dean Ornish
  • “Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other – it doesn’t matter who it is – and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.” — Mother Teresa
  • “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” — Kahlil Gibran
  • “The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions.” — John Hancock
  • “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie
  • “When you make people angry, they act in accordance with their baser instincts, often violently and irrationally. When you inspire people, they act in accordance with their higher instincts, sensibly and rationally. Also, anger is transient, whereas inspiration sometimes has a life-long effect.” — Peace Pilgrim

If you have some favorite emotional intelligence quotes, feel free to share.

the man in the Arena

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The Man in the Arena is a famous passage from the speech  Citizenship in a Republic, given by by Theodore Roosevelt.  It’s about standing strong when tested.

 

It goes like this …

 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I hope this inspired you to search for Greatness!

You grow, by putting yourself out there.  If you’ve ever been in a situation that requires great courage, skill or tenacity, then, you know what it’s like to be “the man in the arena.”

 

If you’re going to fail, then at least dare greatly, and remember, it’s not the critic who counts.

 

Act Yourself Into a New Way of Thinking

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“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ? Louis L’Amour

You can’t think yourself into a new way of acting.

But you can act yourself into a new way of thinking.

Most people try to think their way into a new way of thinking and then hope that their behavior will change.

A better approach is to behave your way into a new mindset.

When you start acting differently, you build a new frame of reference, and your thinking will follow.

In the book, Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead, Rob-Jan De Jong shares eight practices you can use to act yourself into a new way of thinking.

You Can Act Yourself Into a New Way of Thinking

You can change yourself with new actions faster than you can change yourself with new thinking.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“My good friend and actor Bruce van Barthold once explained how actors can learn ‘to live inside the character.’  His acting instructors taught him that you cannot think yourself into a new way of acting, but you can act yourself into a new way of thinking.  He had to repeat it to me twice, but once I got it, it made a lot of sense.”

You Can’t Just Tell Yourself to Be Better

Just telling yourself to do better or be better is not enough.  You have to practice the actions that build the muscle to be different.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“Developing a mindful mindset is similar: There are behaviors and practices that can help you.  You can’t simply tell yourself to start re-categorizing from now on, or to be open to new information, or to stop taking a single perspective.  That wouldn’t work, and Langer’s three elements of mindfulness would remain purely theoretical.  But you can use a repertoire of behaviors and practices that, through repetition and perseverance, will help you develop that mindset.”

8 Practices for Developing Mindfulness

You can grow your mindfulness by developing three behaviors through eight specific practices.

According to Langer, growing your mindful state boils down to three behaviors: 1) creating new categories, 2) welcoming new information, and 3) adopting more than one view.

Rob-jan De Jong provides 8 practices we can use to help practice these behaviors and develop our mindfulness so that we can re-categorize information, stay open to new information, and stop taking a single perspective.

3 Behaviors for Mindfulness 8 Practices for Mindfulness
1. Creating new categories 1. “Yes, and …”
2. Break the pattern
2. Welcoming new information 3. Powerful questions
4. Appreciative inquiry
5. Radical exposure
6. Unblind your blind spot
3. Adopting more than one view 7. Learn to listen
8. Opinion swap

 

Here is a quick overview of each of the eight practices for growing your mindfulness.

1. “Yes, and …”

Swap out “but” with “and.”

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“In the next few days, try catching yourself when you say ‘Yes, but …’  Nine out of ten times you will be stopping a thought or an idea that isn’t in line with your current thinking and is blocking a creative idea or alternative perspective in the process. 

To combat this tendency, immediately rephrase your action to ‘Yes, and …,’ allowing you to make your point by remaining open rather than closed.  Keep up this practice until ‘Yes, and …’ becomes your default reaction.  It should not take you more than two weeks of practice to make this saying a habit.  Remember, just one word can make a huge difference.”

2. Break the pattern.

Do the opposite of what you normally do.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“A deceptively simple practice to increase your chances of seeing things differently is to deliberately break your normal pattern of working, communicating, thinking, reacting, and responding.  For example, if you are normally the first to volunteer, hold back.  Or if you are always the one who holds back, now volunteer.  If you’re very punctual, arrive late (as confronting as it might sound). “

3. Powerful questions.

Ask better questions.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“Artfully designed questions generate curiosity, are thought-provoking, challenge underlying assumptions, and invite creativity.  Moreover, they give us energy, making us aware of the fat that there is something to explore that we hadn’t fully grasped before.  So train yourself to catch poorly designed questions, asked by you as well as others, and reformulate them.  Keep the three dimensions in mind: 1) why, what, how constructions, 2) scope, and 3) underlying assumptions.”

4. Appreciative inquiry.

Ask questions that appreciate what’s going well.  Help reveal why things are going well.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“Develop a set of appreciative questions aimed at discovering what is going well, and why.  Use them when analyzing problems, withholding the temptation to first ask what went wrong.”

5. Radical exposure.

Expose yourself to radically different people, experiences, and events.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“The radical exposure practice promotes a deliberate effort to engage, with some frequency (e.g. once a month), with a subgroup that is profoundly different from the usual suspects you hang out with.  Visit a conference of a very different profession, hang out with skaters, join an arts club, buy a magazine randomly off the shelf, things like that.”

6. Unblind your blind spot.

Reveal blind spots by putting more options on the table and looking for the non-obvious.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“Group dynamics often make what’s on the table appear as though it’s the only possibility.  But it rarely is. It’s just what the group is most comfortable with; once an option is chosen, the group is unlikely to consider anything else.  Whenever you engage in a conversation aimed at clarifying or making a decision, ask, at the appropriate moments: 1) What other options exist? 2) What are we not seeing or saying?”

7. Learn to listen.

Get curious and develop your curiosity.  Don’t treat information like a broken record, find a new groove.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“Consciously and deliberately go into listening mode.  This means not taking over the conversation with your idea or observation, no matter how much you want to.  Just keep asking questions, and don’t dismiss anything your conversation partner mentions, no matter how odd it sounds or how disconnected the person’s views are from yours.”

8. Opinion swap.

Try another perspective on for size.   This will help you see things from new angles.

Via Anticipate: The Art of Leading by Looking Ahead:

“Choose someone at work who is least like you — not someone you dislike, just someone very different.  You two might differ in character, taste, thoughts, or actions.  Think of a subject you normally disagree on.  It might be something simple, like a product, marketing message, or television program that you avoid or find trivial and the other person really likes.  Imagine yourself adopting this person’s opinion, like you’d try on an outfit.  See things from this person’s point of view and come up with some reasons why he or she loves what you hate, or vice versa.”

Naturally, you’re probably already thinking about these practices, and whether or not they’ll work.

And that’s exactly the opposite of what to do.

The whole point is to actually do the practices and then notice how your thinking changes in unexpected, and perhaps, profound ways.

That’s right … act your way into a new way of thinking.

Priorities

“Action expresses priorities.” — Mahatma Gandhi

As one of my mentors put it, you’re no use to us dead.

If you get your priorities right, you change your world, and you can change the world.

If you get your priorities wrong, it’s a fast path to self-destruction.

If you really want to help others, get your priorities right, build a firm foundation first, and then work from there.

In the book, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, Scott Adams shares why priorities are the things you need to get right so the things you love can thrive.

If You Ruin Yourself, It’s Game Over

You know what they say, “put your oxygen mask on first.”  You can’t help other people very much, if you can’t even help yourself.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“It’s useful to think of your priorities in terms of concentric circles, like an archery target.  In the center is your highest priority: you.  If you ruin yourself, you won’t be able to work on any other priorities.  So taking care of your own health is job one.”

Your Personal Financial Engine

If you don’t get your personal financial engine working right, you create a burden.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“The next ring — and your second-biggest priority — is economics.  That includes your job, your investments, and even your house.  You might wince at the fact that I put economics ahead of your family, your friends, and the rest of the world, but there’s a reason. If you don’t get your personal financial engine working right, you place a burden on everyone from your family to the country.”

Family, Friends, and Lovers

Love makes the world go round.  But it doesn’t pay for food, shelter, or give you a clean bill of health.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“One you are both healthy and financially sound, it’s time for the third ring: family, friends, and lovers.  Good health and sufficient money are necessary for a base level of happiness, but you need to be right with your family, friends, and romantic partners to truly enjoy life.”

Local Community, Your Country, and the World

Now that you’ve mastered your inner circles, you can expand your sphere of influence and change the world.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“The next rings are your local community, your country, and the world, in that order.  Don’t bother trying to fix the world until you get the inner circles of your priorities under control.”

All of Your Priorities Overlap and Conflict

Too bad the world doesn’t always fit into nice little models.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“The problem, of course, with my neat little model of priorities is that life is never that simple.  You can’t tell your boss that your assignment will be late because you want to go for a long, healthy walk.  All of your priorities overlap and conflict.  What you need is a simple rule for keeping your priorities on track while handling all of the inevitable exceptions.“

Use Your Personal Energy as a Gauge

It’s not the most scientific, but it can help you avoid crashing and burning.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“One simple way to keep your priorities straight is by judging how each of your options will influence your personal energy.  It’s not a foolproof gauge, but if you know a particular path will make you feel more stressed, unhealthy, and drained, it’s probably the wrong choice.   Right choices can be challenging, but they usually charge you up.  When you’re on the right path, it feels right, literally.”

Meaningful Work Can Be Energizing

You’ll face trade-offs all the time.  Your personal energy can help you understand those trade-offs.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“For example, if your boss asks you to work the weekend to finish something worthwhile and challenging, you might be willing to give up a little of your personal life and health.  Meaningful work can be energizing.  And if things work out, perhaps you will be promoted because of your efforts.  That’s a trade-off that might charge you up in both the short run and the long run.”

If It’s Brain-Deadening, Find a New Job

If your work continuously sucks the life force out, something has to give.  Don’t wait until it’s you.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“On the other hand, if your boss routinely asks you to work overtime for no good reason other than to claw through piles of brain-deadening administrative work, you probably need to look for a new job.

In both example, your boss is asking for extra work at the cost of your higher priorities, but only one of those situations increases your personal energy.”

Dumb Choices are Obvious

On a good note, it tends to be fairly obvious which choices you make will not serve you for the longer haul.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“The risk with using energy as your guide is that there are plenty of bad choices that also get you energized in the short run.  But realistically, we all know, for example, that shoving cocaine up your noses isn’t a good long-term strategy.  The dumb choices are generally quite obvious.”

Get Priorities Right So the Things You Love Thrive

When you line up your priorities, from the inside out, you build a firm foundation to survive and thrive for the long haul.

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

“When I speak of priorities I don’t mean that in terms of what you love the most.  You can love your family more than you love your job and still spend all day working so your family has good and opportunities.  Priorities are the things you need to get right so the things you love can thrive.”

Do your priorities need a reset?

Today is the perfect day to find your path of fire and fulfillment.

Roho Juu!

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*Roho Juu* is a term commonly used by the so called ‘hustlers’ who wake up early everyday to either seek an employment opportunity or going about their day work schedule in the hope of making ends meet.

It’s usually associated by the common ‘mwana inchi’ who earn a meagre salary or a hand to mouth type of income.

Direct translation would be ‘heart up’ or in simpler explanation ‘high spirited’
This is what I have come to hear, see and be part of ever since I joined the ‘hustling clan’

With so many challenges and obstacles coming their way, it’s easy to give up, call it quits and go home. But day after day, come rain or sunshine, the everyday greeting of *Roho Juu* uplifts and motivates each of us to continue hustling on despite all odds.

The powerful mantra of *Roho Juu* has nany translations all with the same common meaning and most importantly serves the purpose of inspiring our inner-selfs’ to keep sane, afloat and not just carry on but seek to thrive when all seems lost.

Below are synonyms associated with *Roho Juu*

-Undaunted
-Unshaken
-Showing resolution
-Unsubdued
-Fearless & Brave
-Bold & Confident
-Intrepid
-Gallant
-Indomitable
-Steadfast
-Undeterred
-Valiant
-Unfaltering
-Unflinching
-Valorous

If you can identify with *Roho Juu* feel free to add your own interpretation of the same.

Love
Jambu

when to quit!

“Like creating a masterpiece, quitting is an art: you have to decide what to keep within the frame and what to keep out.” — Richie Norton

 

How do you know when to hold ‘em?

 

How do you know when to fold ‘em?

 

How do you know when to walk away … or when to run?

 

Quitting isn’t always obvious.

 

You might have grown up hearing that winners never quit and quitters never win, but it’s not true.  Unfortunately, it’s bad advice when you take it to the extreme.

 

Winners quit all the time.  But they know when to quit, and when to dig in.

 

In the book, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, Scott Adams shares what he learned about knowing when to quit and when to stick with something.

 

Which Path Will Be Most Fruitful?

 

How do you know which way to go, and whether you are even on the right path?  And if you stick with it, how do you know whether it will yield any fruitful results?

 

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

 

“Childhood obsessions and tolerance for risk are only rough guides to talent at best.  As you grow and acquire more talents, your potential paths to success multiply quickly.  That makes it extra hard to know which possibility among many would put you in a position of competitive advantage.  Should you pursuit a career that uses your knowledge of photography and software, or something that uses your public-speaking skills and your gift for writing? There’s no way to be completely sure which path will be most fruitful

 

Try Lots of Different Things

 

Experiment.   How do you know if you’ll be a good swimmer or even like swimming, if you never go in the water?  How do you know if your idea is any good, if you don’t test it with real users?

 

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

 

“The smartest system for discerning  your best path to success involves trying lots of different things – sampling, if you will.  For entrepreneurial ventures it might mean quickly  bailing out if things don’t come together quickly.”

 

You Need to Know When to Quit

 

If quitting is not a part of your vocabulary, you’ll set yourself up for failure by taking away your flexibility to invest in better bets, and let the bad ones go.

 

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

 

“That approach might conflict  with the advice you’ve heard all of your life – that sticking with something, no matter the obstacles, is important to success.  Indeed, most successful people had to chew through a wall at some point.  Overcoming obstacles is normally an unavoidable part of the process.  But you also need to know when to quit.  Persistence is useful, but there’s no point in being an idiot about it.”

 

Things that Will Work Out Well, Start Out Well

 

You can’t quit everything you start, or you’ll never get over the humps.  But not all humps are created equal.  Even the little humps up front show signs of potential.

 

Via How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life:

 

“My guideline for deciding when to quit is informed by a lifetime of trying dozens of business ideas, most of them failures.  I’ve also carefully observed others struggling with the stay-or-quit decision. There have been times I stuck with bad ideas for far too long out of a misguided sense that persistence is a virtue.  The pattern I notice was this:  Things that will someday work out well start out well.  Things that will never work start out bad and stay that way.  What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success.  Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely grow into successes.”

 

Are you holding on to success?

 

Or, is it time to let things go, and would a change of pace do you good?

 

 

 

Passion

So i decided to buy a diary late last year in an attempt to *organize my 2013* so as not to be as errattic as *2012*

The news is that as of today i only managed to scribble one or two notes until the 25’th of Jan. For me that’s commendable because i have never gone past the first week, but then again that is easily the most pathetic attempt of keeping a diary log.

Fastforward to today, so much has changed, so many things have come to pass(the abundance of grey hair on my head notwithstanding) but i am gratefull for God Almighty for bringing me thus far. Just as it could have been better, it could have well been worse and thats why i decided not long ago to live in the *NOW* in true allegiance to my mantra of *make everyday count*

Feels good writting, just pouring my thoughts into paper and sharing with the world. Over time I have nurtured the bookworm aspect of me and ended up treasuring it to the point I feel empty if I don’t constantly feed my brain on something/anything. It’s a valuable trait that i wished i had adopted much earlier in life-as they say knowledge is the key to success.

It’s also funny how i have learnt so much about others and very little about myself. Only when i stand in the mirror and contrast the wealth of knowledge garnered overtime and it’s implications in my life do i get the wake up call that i need to change a couple of things in my life inorder to progress.

I have indeed come to a sort of crossroads, where i have to evaluate the pros&cons of my decisions and how they impact my future goals & plans. Yet again if I worry too much about either my past or future i will miss out on the present.

I like the *Nike* slogan ‘just do it’. Mostly because it’s sticky, encouraging & amazingly simple.

Trajectory is currently taking place and i might as well jump in the moving band wagon. I feel like buying a one way ticket to a remote location, somewhere unheard of and starting all over again.

But then again i was advised it’s not good to go with feelings without logic. My heart argues that i need change, my brain tells me life is short and full of risks, yet my gut answers me-all that matters is that you do what makes you happy.

And that my *Dears* is my hope  for you, that whatever you are doing it’s making you happy, that you are loving yourself because no one will love you more than you and last but not least that you are following your passion!!

Love always

Jambu.
Continue reading Passion

Have a wonder ful Day!!

make it worthwhile
make it worthwhile

Start your day with fresh fruits or juice

have some fresh air and breath deeply

whenever you can smile genuinely

at least once a day stay away from smoking

be active

try to spare 20 minutes for physical exercise

everyday have your sleep

out love your green vegetables

spend more quality time with your loved ones

keep stress away from your life!

love Jambu

Good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose!

Good Luck!!
Good Luck!!

 Luck Quotes …

Here are more luck quotes:

  • “Ability is of little account without opportunity.“ – Lucille Ball
  • “Bad things happen to good people.“  – Anonymous
  • “Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; This is good luck.“– Anonymous
  • “Don’t luck into success.“ – Anonymous
  • “Everything in life is luck.“ – Donald Trump
  • “Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered.“ – William Shakespeare
  • Good luck beats early rising.“ – Proverb
  • “Good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose.“ – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Good luck is the willing handmaid of a upright and energetic character, and conscientious observance of duty.“ – James Russell Lowell
  • Good things come to those who wait.“ – Anonymous
  • “I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?“ – Jean Cocteau
  • “If one does not know to which port is sailing, no wind is favorable.“ – Seneca
  • “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.“ – Thomas Jefferson
  • “If you view all the things that happen to you, both good and bad, as opportunities, then you operate out of a higher level of consciousness.“ – Les Brown
  • “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.“ – Albert Einstein
  • “It’s hard to detect good luck – it looks so much like something you’ve earned.“ – Frank A. Clark
  • “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.“ – John Lennon
  • “Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish.“ – Ovid
  • “Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don’t depend on it.“ – Anonymous
  • “Luck is believing you’re lucky.“ – Tennessee Williams
  • “Luck is tenacity of purpose.“ – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Luck is the idol of the idle.” – Proverb
  • “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” – Seneca
  • “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” – Langston Coleman
  • “Luck never gives; it only lends.“ – Proverb
  • “Luck never made a man wise.“ – Seneca
  • “Luck, bad if not good, will always be with us. But it has a way of favoring the intelligent and showing its back to the stupid.“ – John Dewey
  • “Luck? I don’t know anything about luck. I’ve never banked on it and I’m afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work – and realizing what is opportunity and what isn’t.“ – Lucille Ball
  • “Lucky at cards, unlucky in love.“ – Proverb
  • “Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.“ – Ashleigh Brilliant
  • “May good luck be your friend in whatever you do and may trouble be always a stranger to you.“ – Anonymous
  • “May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light. May good luck pursue you each morning and night.“ – Anonymous
  • Nature creates ability; luck provides it with opportunity.“ – François de la Rochefoucauld
  • “Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.“ – Thomas Edison
  • “Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.“ – Demosthenes
  • “Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.“ – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “So it’s probably eighty percent luck and twenty percent skill.“ – Chris LeDoux
  • “The day you decide to do it is your lucky day.“ – Proverb
  • The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck.“ – Tony Robbins
  • “The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.“ – Bret Harte
  • “Unlucky at cards, lucky in love.“ – Proverb
  • “When I work fourteen hours a day, seven days a week, I get lucky.“ – Dr. Armand Hammer