Category Archives: Health

There are a lot of adventures out there, waiting for us to live them!

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Elliot

For those who don’t know – I have a Youtube channel going by the name – jambukizee and other than enjoying visiting different parts of this wonderful continent called Africa on my motorbike, I also provide the following consultational services;

TRAVEL ASSISTANCE:

With a decade of experience travelling through Africa I’m here to assist you in planning your trip to according to your personal preferences and budget. Including advice on how to get the cheapest flights, best accommodations, where to visit for the best experience while avoiding scams and staying safe. Plus information on finding activities such as World Heritage Sites, Street Food, Nightlife, Motorsports, Historical & Cultural Centres and more. Guaranteed to save you hundreds of dollars in expenses and make your time in Africa safer and more enjoyable.

GUIDED MOTORBIKE TOURS IN AND AROUND AFRICA:

Some of the very best that Africa has to offer lies beyond the traditional go to spots. Visit ancient landscape, incredible history and fascinating flora and fauna that few get to see. What is better than to explore out of way places with a few like minded friends. From the Wet Highlands to the Arid Desert there is always something different to see, to learn about and experiences to build stories around. If you would like to go for a ride…we would love to have you along for either part of the ride or the whole ride. It’s a lot of fun!!! If you are a group organiser for your bike club, friends or travel agent we can tailor a tour specifically for you or your clients. Just tell us what you are hoping for and we’ll offer any advice you need along with making any arrangements necessary. It’ll make everything as simple as possible. Just ask! Make sure you bring your camera as we would hate you to miss something.

EAST AFRICA RELOCATION:

Consultation Services are also available to those looking to relocate to THE EAST AFRICA COMMUNITY to retire, invest or work remotely. This includes helping you decide what area of the region is best for you, how to find the best deal on a condo, information on Visa options, and much more. This is guaranteed to make your transition into your new life in AFRICA as cost-efficient and smooth as possible by helping you prevent the mistakes most new expats make.

Interested – email me me on joseph@shopmarkaz.com and ‘let’s build castles in the sky

Subscribe to my channel : https://www.youtube.com/c/Jambukizee

Cheers!

2022 RULES FOR SUCCESS

  • Morning Routine
    • Create an early morning routine so that you can build momentum for the day. This includes waking up consistently before sunrise.
  • Concentration
    • Concentrate on your daily goals. We become what we think about
  • Think Positively.
    • Have a positive mental attitude so that you can achieve positive results
  • Trust Yourself
    • Ignore the haters.
  • Friends
    • Associate yourself with successful and like-minded people
  • Learn Daily
    • Go to bed smarter by reading books, watching seminars and listening to audio books.
  • Build One Habit at a Time
    • It takes 66 days to develop a habit.
  • Impatience is Weakness
    • Be patient when working on your goals, you can’t be strong all the time, you will have your ups and downs.

The Greatest Asset In Life

The greatest asset in life is our relationship balance

Go check out a person who has good relationships in life what they can achieve with one phone call, others cannot achieve with a million dollars.

Many studies have been done which says people who have good relationships they live happier and healthier lives. Our relationships friends and relatives, they are our support group.

We are talking about personally, professionally and socially.

Our family, people who are emotionally strong, you see in any crisis they come out stronger and people who are emotionally weak, they fight; they distort and make things fall apart.

People who are emotionally weak can never build lasting relationships with them because they are moody people, whimsical people, they are all sugar and honey to you today and they are out to cut your throat tomorrow. They are imbalanced and imbalanced people you cannot trust. In any relationship the foundation is trust and trust is built on integrity.

Personally, professionally there are many people who join groups like the chamber of commerce, BNI’s the Rotary, the Lions to network and they think they are building relationships and their definition of relationship is make connections with this people because someday they could be useful.

Usefulness goes, friendship also goes, there is no relationship – they are only takers, they are parasites only to suck whatever they can get and relationships are never built on taking, they are always built on giving.

Relationships are built on adding value addition to the relationship or to the other person were you need to give something.

There are four kinds of friendships in life;

  1. The friendship of convenience
  2. The friendship of usefulness
  3. The friendship because of a common enemy
  4. The friendship built on mutual respect

Helping each other is a duty of a friend; it is never the purpose of friendship. Helping always remains incidental to friendship.

To build lasting friendships and lasting relationships we must be willing to give and add value addition to another person’s life and that is what keeps a long-time relationship to be strong.

Go build it and you will live a much healthier, happier life.

nifty nuggets

  1. Life isn’t fair but it’s still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next time.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
  8. Save for retirement, starting with your first payslip.
  9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  11. It’s okay to let your children see you cry.
  12. Don’t compare your life to other’s. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
  14. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
  15. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
  16. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
  17. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
  19. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
  21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
  22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  23. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
  25. Forgive everyone everything.
  26. What other people think of your is none of your business.
  27. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
  28. However good or bag a situation is, it will change.
  29. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family will. Stay in touch.
  30. Believe in miracles.
  31. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
  32. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
  33. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
  34. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  35. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s we’d grab ours back.
  36. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  37. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.
  38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  39. Envy is a waster of time. You already have all you need.
  40. The best is yet to come.
  41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
  42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  43. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  44. Yield.
  45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Three types of people

LEAF

Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.

BRANCH

There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it’s possible that you can lose them. Most times they break away when it’s tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can’t handle too much weight. But again you can’t be mad with them, it’s just who they are are.

ROOT

If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy for you. They stay low key and don’t let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you. Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots.

Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people’s lives?

What 25 Movies Teach Us About Love

Love comes in all shapes and sizes and to each his own.  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I put together a sampling of 25 movies and what they can teach us about life and love.  Even if you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day, enjoy the quotes and perhaps see things in a new light.  Sometimes just the right words, are like an old song, sung new.

Here they are:

  1. As Good as it Gets – Love can bring out your best.  Melvin: “You make me want to be a better man.”
  2. Be My Valentine Charlie Brown – Just because you don’t get a Valentine, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable.
  3. Casablanca.  Kiss like you mean it.  Ilsa: “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
    It’s the kind of thing you want to hold on to forever.”
  4. Casper: Don’t let go.  Casper: “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?”
  5. Cinderella.  It’s what dreams are made of.  Cinderella: “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”
  6. Dan in Real Life.  Love is an ability.  Marty: “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.”
  7. Don Juan DeMarco.  The answer is love.  Don Juan: “There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”
  8. Ghost.  Sometimes you need to hear it.  Sam: “Ditto.”
  9. It’s a Wonderful Life.  We’ll do anything to impress the one we love.  George: “What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”
  10. Memoirs of a Geisha. Love is a bond.  Nobu: “We are tied to each other. I know you feel it too.”
  11. My Girl – Butterflies and fuzzy feelings are what first kisses are about.  Loss hurts.
  12. P.S. I Love You – Cherish the time you have together.  It’s part of the journey.  Gerry: “If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you”
  13. Romeo and Juliet – Puppy love makes you say the darnedest things.  Romeo: “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”
  14. Runnaway Bride – Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride.  But it’s worth it.  Maggie: “I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.”
  15. Shrek – Love comes in all shapes and sizes.  Stay true to you.
  16. Sleepless in Seattle.  Sometimes, it’s like a snowflake just for you.  Sam: “Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”
  17. The Bridges of Madison County.  You know it when you feel it. Robert Kinkaid: “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”
  18. The Crow.  Remember them.  Sarah: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”
  19. The Notebook – If you’ve ever really loved, you know what it’s like to really live.  Noah: “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”
  20. The Princess Bride – Nothing beats true love.  Miracle Max says, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”
  21. The Way We Were – Remember how it felt when it wasn’t complicated.  Hold on to that.  Katie: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.”
  22. The Wizard of Oz.  Love isn’t meant to be practical.  Wizard of Oz: “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
  23. Titanic. Endings can be bitter sweet.  Jack: “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”
  24. Wedding Crashers – Love more.  You’ve got more capacity than you might think you do.  John: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”
  25. When Harry Met Sally.  Sometimes love is like a new lease on life.  Harry: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

What movies wrinkled your brain when it comes to love?

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT

I heard that we are in the same boat

But it’s not like that

We are in the same storm

But not in the same boat

Your ship can be shipwrecked

And mine might not be

Or vice versa

For some, quarantine is optimal

Moment of reflection, or re-connection

Easy, in flip flops, with a whiskey or tea.

For others, this is a desperate crisis.

For others it is facing loneliness

For some, a peace, rest time, vacation

Yet for others, torture:

How am I going to pay my bills?

Some were concerned about a brand of chocolates

Others were concerned about the bread for the weekend,

Or if the noodles would last for a few more days.

Some were in their ‘home office’

Others are looking through trash to survive

Some want to go back to work because

They are running out of money

Others want to kill those who break the quarantine

Some need to break the quarantine to stand in line at the banks

Others to escape

Others criticize the government for the lines

Some have experienced the near death of the virus

Some have already lost someone from it

Some are not sure their loved ones are going to make it

And some don’t even believe this is a big deal.

Some of us who are well now

May end up experiencing it,

And some believe they are infallible and will be blown

Away if or when this hits

Someone they know

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2021

Others say the worst is yet to come

So, friends, we are not in the same boat

We are going through a time when our perceptions and

Needs are completely different

And each one will emerge in

His own way, from that storm

Some with a tan from their pool

Others with scars on the soul

It is very important to see

Beyond what is seen at first glance

Not just looking, more that looking, seeing

See beyond the political party

Beyond the biases

Beyond the nose on your face

Do not underestimate the pain of others

If you do not feel it

Do not judge the good life of the other

Do not condemn the bad life of the other

Don’t be a judge

Let us not judge the one who lacks

As well as the one who exceeds him

We are on different ships looking to survive

Let everyone navigate their route with respect

Empathy and responsibility

The ant’s rule book of life

Be Brave

Ants teach you that no matter how terrifying things may look up ahead, you should never chicken out. They are a lot braver than your action movie heroes

Prepare Ahead

Ants are constantly preparing for the season which is yet to come. It has a start contrast to human behaviour. Your priorities can sometimes be driven by what you feel like doing.

Mind Your Own Business

We often like to talk about others, our friends, society and how bad the world is. We have lot of time to talk about others and poke into others business. Ants on the other hand mind their business.

Teamwork Helps

Everything an ant does is for the benefit of the colony and they will work until they are done. Almost on autopilot, each ant knows their duties and they do everything they can do to get their duties completed.

Adapt To Surroundings

You can find ants just about everywhere. Ants know where to find resources and you should do the same. Be quick to adapt to your surrounding and don’t wait for a wake-up call.

Hard Work Matters

Ants are noted for carrying objects that are bigger than them. This is only make possible through sheer hard work and determination. They are not scared of heavy tasks.

Sense Of Discipline

Without a mistake they march after one another in a line. Without dispute or accident, they move about in order. But everywhere in life man finds loopholes to divide.

Spirit Of Sharing

The ants share everything they get. They never eat anything alone. But what do we humans do? If we find something immediately, we try our best to hoard it in a secret place.

Ignore Diversions

If you put your finger in an ants path, it just walks around it and soldiers on. It won’t let your fingers hinder it’s work. You should do the same and not let silly problems get in your way.

It’s Not About Doing Things Perfectly

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Try Stuff, Even If It’s Not Perfect

It reminds me to keep things real and not get caught up in perfection, or the ideal that does not exist.

That’s the essence and foundation for personal growth.

It reminds me just to try…to give my best effort… to get in the arena and go for it… even if it’s not pretty and it’s not perfect.

And  it’s that fundamental mindset that sets the stage to be able to practice the things that lead to doing great things, even if it’s not pretty, and it’s not perfect.

It’s not about perfection.

It’s about progress… and progress is actually one of the secrets to happiness.

When we grow, we light up our life, even if it’s in some small way.

10 Reminders About Not Doing Things Perfectly

Too many people die with their music still in them, or they never realize their potential, because they get caught up in perfection.

Here are a few of my other favorite reminders about not worrying about doing things perfectly:

  1. A friend of mine was good about reminding me: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”  That was his way of saying to me, focus on “good enough for now” so we could move on the next challenge, and not get stuck in analysis paralysis or the perfection trap.
  2. Similarly, Voltaire put it, ““The best is the enemy of the good.”  Voltaire always has a way with words.
  3. I always liked the phrase: “Make it work, then make it right.”   (balanced with the idea that if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over 😉  … another way to think of this is, don’t get caught up in pre-mature perfection.
  4. Perfection is a journey, not a destination.  Enjoy the journey of learning and mastery.   This is the essence of continuous improvement.   Thinking back, this is really the big idea that helped me avoid a life of worrying about perfection, and instead, focus on progress.
  5. Focus on progress over perfection.  I always liked the idea that to get better at something, you have to do it more than once.  It takes practice.  You can’t practice very much if you are caught up in perfection.  When I think about it like that, it reminds me of Simon Sinek’s phrasing, “Better is better than best.”
  6. One of my best mentors was good at asking, “Is it effective?”   That was a much better focus, than worrying about some arbitrary notion or measure of perfection.  It was a simple reminder that if it wasn’t working, change your approach.   It’s far better to focus on effectiveness, improvement, or progress.   That’s where the growth is.
  7. As Confucius put it, “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”  Talk about trading up.
  8. As Shakespeare put it, “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”  I’ve seen so many good things, come to an end, either for the sake of perfection, or over-doing something that was better in it’s rough and useful form.  I’ve seen some great art, great ideas, and great projects die that way.  Sometimes you just need to leave well enough alone.
  9. As my mechanic always said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”   He was incredibly pragmatic about where to invest time and energy, and not to throw good money after bad.
  10. As Leo Tolstoy put it, “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”   It’s one thing to have great expectations, but don’t let your expectations drain the juice out of your life. 

Perfectionism Is Fundamentally Flawed

Here’s what Wikipedia says about perfectionism:

“Perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”

Yuck.

Don’t Fear Perfection

The good news is you don’t ever have to fear perfection.

As Salvador Dali reminds us with his inspiring words:

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”

How perfect is that?

African folklore

Long time ago in the Animal Kingdom, a sheep was passing and saw a lion crying inside a cage trap and the Lion begged the Sheep to save him with a promise not to kill and eat it but the Sheep refused*.

After much persuasion and due the Sheep’s gullibility it opened the cage for the Lion.
Now the Lion was very hungry having stayed in the cage for days without food.
It quickly grabbed the Sheep to kill and eat but the Sheep reminded him of his promise.
They were still there arguing when other animals came passing and they sought to know what happened.

*Both the Lion and the Sheep narrated their own side of the story but because of fear and in trying to gain favour with the Lion, all the animals took sides with the Lion except the Tortoise who claimed not to understand the whole scenario*.

Now the Tortoise asked the Lion to show them where he was before the Sheep rescued him, he pointed at the cage.
He asked again, “were you inside or outside when the sheep arrived”? The Lion said he was inside.
The Tortoise again said “ok, enter lets see how difficult it could be inside”.
The Lion entered and the Tortoise locked him back inside.

*In amazement the other animals asked Tortoise “why” and he replied “if we allow him eat the Sheep today, he will still go hungry tomorrow and we don’t know the next amongst us to be eaten tomorrow*.

*Moral*:

Don’t support evil today because it doesn’t affect you directly, tomorrow it could be your turn.

Be reasonable
Stay safe.

Manhood Is Not Natural

Manhood is not natural, but it is essential. No society can endure if it does not harness male sexual energy and teach men to take care of the children they father and the women who bear them.

Few would disagree that manhood is in crisis today. Men are falling behind women in important measures of personal and social well-being. In deeply consequential ways, they have become the weaker sex.

Some women celebrate this. Most, however, are deeply concerned, especially since the weakness of the men in their lives makes it increasingly difficult for them to become wives and mothers. The equation is really quite simple: if boys don’t become good, dependable men, they can’t become good, dependable husbands and fathers.

The majority of women want marriage and babies, and usually quite dearly. They don’t need to be talked into them and never really have. Ask women today their biggest obstacle to achieving this goal. It’s not a shortage of males, but of responsible adult males. Men. If they cannot find marriageable men, they often go with other choices. It’s no coincidence that the two fastest growing family formation trends are unmarried cohabitation and out-of-wedlock childbearing among twenty- and thirty-something women.

The causes of these trends can be found in the underappreciated and often-denied distinct natures of manhood and womanhood. It’s rooted in a strange but essential anthropological truth: Womanhood is natural. Manhood is not.

Womanhood Is Natural

Womanhood is a natural phenomenon. A female’s biological make-up usually ensures that she will grow into a healthy woman. Leave her to herself, and it’s likely to happen. It’s why the phrases “woman up,” “be a woman,” or “make a woman out of her” don’t exist.

As her body matures, internally and externally, it sends her and those around her an unmistakable message about what she is and what she’s becoming. It moves her inexorably in that direction with a force as great as it is mysterious. Few girls miss these cues. It’s not just her body that is changing; she is becoming a different person. Her family and community treat her differently because of it. A father shudders at it, as it forever changes the way he interacts with “his little girl.” He must bow to and honor it. I’m the father of a girl. I know it all too well.

Women must be taught, with great political and ideological pressure, to ignore their womanhood and abandon their children, for doing so is contrary to all nature.

Manhood Is Taught

The opposite is true of manhood.  Unlike a woman, a man has no civilized role or agenda inscribed in his body. The boy has no on-board GPS directing him toward his future. His transition into manhood can only come into being with significant, intentional work by other men. As a behavior, manhood must be learned, proven, and earned. As an identity, manhood must be bestowed by a boy’s father and the community’s larger fraternity of men. His mother can only affirm it. She cannot bequeath it.

Maleness just happens, but manhood does not. The first is a biological event, while the second is a developed character quality. When manhood is not formed and cultivated, males fail to mature, resulting in the “perpetual adolescence” or “failure to launch” that plagues our culture. When so many men play beer pong into their forties, live in their parents’ basements, play videogames twelve hours a day, and encounter women only in the form of pixels on a porn site, it seems clear that we have a manhood problem.

The human male nature doesn’t naturally go in the direction civilization requires; it requires the direction of other men. Unlike the female nature, which tends to exist reliably among the median scale of human behavior, the male nature is oriented more toward extremes, for good or bad.

Manhood must be crafted and refined in order to orient males in pro-social, communitarian directions. In fact, this is the first work of every civilization. Anthropologists tell us that the original and most fundamental social problem of any culture is the unattached male. Left to his own, he is not inclined to play well with others. He is not disposed to make himself, or anyone around him, a better person. He is not likely to become other-focused. Either fiercely competitive or indolent, he is more likely to become a social contagion. He will either seek to define himself in the community by power, false confidence, and selfish conquest, or shrink away toward inactivity and reticence.

In every known human society, everywhere in the world, the young male learns that when he grows up, one of the things which he must do in order to be a full member of society is to provide food [and protection] for some female and her young. … every known human society rests firmly on the learned nurturing behaviour of men.

Thus, across virtually all cultures, manhood has largely consisted of three essential qualities: procreation, provision, and protection. If the boy doesn’t learn these things, then he is not likely to become a good, selfless, serving man. Shame and derision from the community will become his lot.

Tragically, manhood is becoming extinct because we are not teaching it.

Male vs. Female Sexuality

Additionally, the most elemental destabilizing force in every culture is not merely unrefined male energy, but his unchecked sexual energy. Full stop. In its fundamental essence, it is deeply anti-social. It has no civilizing, pro-social nature in itself. To become so, it must be acted upon by other forces. By contrast, female sexual energy tends to be inherently pro-social. Female sexuality has the power to create human civilization by moderating the behavior of men, but it can only do this when there is social appreciation for these differences in male and female sexuality, coupled with the strong social morals they require.

Of course, the flip side of unmoderated male energy goes beyond sexuality. A female’s naturally domesticating influence on overall male energy and behavior is easily demonstrated. Who pays substantially lower auto, health, and life insurance premiums, married men or their single peers? Service to the god of equality requires there be no difference here. But we all know better. The wedding-ring-clad man enjoys the financial benefit, and not because insurance companies have a sentimental heart for weddings. Every insurance company knows married men direct their male wanderlust and energy toward safety and responsibility. Single men, not so much.

Without the essential tempering influence of female sexuality, male sexuality is a whole other animal, and not a pretty one.

Sex Makes Babies

This is a problem, because sex makes babies. Every society must give greater attention to this fact than it does to the need for food, shelter, and protection from outside attack. These and all other vital needs are either enhanced or crippled by what a community expects of the relationship between a man, the children he sires, and the woman he does so with. If it doesn’t get this right, few other good things the community needs are likely.

Of course, the male’s attitude and approach toward his procreative act is drastically different from hers. His necessary participation in the act is solely orgasmic, lasting seconds, and is all pleasure. He is not naturally connected to the potential of that act. The mother’s connection, however, is profound, starting shortly after conception and intensifying daily. It costs her dearly in energy, sleep, and overall comfort, starting long before the pain of childbirth. She is inescapably invested. He is not.

The crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and biology to the long-term horizons of female sexuality . . . It is male behavior that must be changed to create a civilized order. The crucial process of civilization. No society can develop or endure without succeeding at this.

Manhood, Marriage, and Fatherhood

The woman is not only the stabilizing force of male sexuality; she is the authorizing factor in fatherhood. If a particular man desires to be involved in the life of his child, it is the child’s mother, and she alone, who determines whether and how he may do this. She typically desires to make this relationship public by making the father of the child her husband. Anthropologists have called this the legitimization of the child.

Consider the etymology of two key words: matrimony and husband. The first comes from the Latin, matrimonium, meaning literally “obligation to the mother.” Since it is virtually impossible for a mother and her child to thrive by themselves, marriage arose in nearly every civilization throughout time as a way to have the impregnating male take responsibility for his child and the mother. The surrounding community expects the male to fulfill his obligation so it doesn’t have to. It is why marriage is a deeply public act and no society has found a way to function without it.

Thus, the good man steps up, and in doing so, becomes a husband. This stems from the Old Norse, meaning literally house dweller: hús (“house”) bóndi (“dweller” and “bonded serf” or “slave”). The husband settles down and confines himself to a particular household, serving and providing resources for its inhabitants. He becomes a whole other kind of man, taking full responsible for his sexuality and his part in the coming generation.

What Happens When Manhood Isn’t Taught?

It is then certainly no coincidence that the term “feminization of poverty” was coined as the sexual revolution initiated the great divorce between sex, babies, and marriage.  While large opportunities were opening for women due to greater equality, Poverty is rapidly becoming a female problem. She blamed the significant increase in the number of female-headed families.

Ghettos are not created by city planners, crime by the police, or failing health by big pharma. Each of these social ills arises by inattention to the sexual behaviors of males. If he doesn’t have to marry before having sex (and potentially fathering children), the average man won’t. So he hasn’t. The feminization of poverty and the accompanying declines in female happiness and childhood well-being are the tragic results.

Manhood ideologies always include a criterion of selfless generosity, even to the point of sacrifice. Again and again, we find that “real” men are those who give more than they take away; they serve others. Real men are generous, even to a fault. Non-men are often those stigmatized as stingy and unproductive.

A good man is the fountain, not the drain. The formation of such men is the first task of human civilization, and its largest threat when ignored.

The question is, how can we recover manhood today? We must find the answer. For it is not only the fate of men that is at stake, but the fate of our women, children, and society as well.

Sioux Indian Story

“My grandfather took me to the fish pond on the farm when I was about seven, and he told me to throw a stone into the water. He told me to watch the circles created by the stone.Then he asked me to think of myself as that stone person. “You may create lots of splashes in your life but the waves that come from those splashes will disturb the peace of all your fellow creatures,” he said. “Remember that you are responsible for what you put in your circle and that circle will also touch many other circles. You will need to live in a way that allows the good that comes from your circle to send the peace of that goodness to others. The splash that comes from anger or jealousy will send those feelings to other circles. You are responsible for both.” That was the first time I realized each person creates the inner peace or discord that flows out into the world. We cannot create world peace if we are riddled with inner conflict, hatred, doubt, or anger. We radiate the feelings and thoughts that we hold inside, whether we speak them or not. Whatever is splashing around inside of us is spilling out into the world, creating beauty or discord with all other circles of life. – Unknown 

Dear Valentine

love blog.jpgLove comes in all shapes and sizes and to each his own. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I put together a sampling of 25 movies and what they can teach us about life and love. Even if you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day, enjoy the quotes and perhaps see things in a new light. Sometimes just the right words, are like an old song, sung new.

Here they are:

1. As Good as it Gets – Love can bring out your best. Melvin: “You make me want to be a better man.”

2. Be My Valentine Charlie Brown – Just because you don’t get a Valentine, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable.

3. Casablanca. Kiss like you mean it. Ilsa: “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
It’s the kind of thing you want to hold on to forever.”

4. Casper: Don’t let go. Casper: “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?”

5. Cinderella. It’s what dreams are made of. Cinderella: “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”

6. Dan in Real Life. Love is an ability. Marty: “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.”

7. Don Juan DeMarco. The answer is love. Don Juan: “There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”

8. Ghost. Sometimes you need to hear it. Sam: “Ditto.”

9. It’s a Wonderful Life. We’ll do anything to impress the one we love. George: “What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”

10. Memoirs of a Geisha. Love is a bond. Nobu: “We are tied to each other. I know you feel it too.”

11. My Girl – Butterflies and fuzzy feelings are what first kisses are about. Loss hurts.

12. P.S. I Love You – Cherish the time you have together. It’s part of the journey. Gerry: “If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you”

13. Romeo and Juliet – Puppy love makes you say the darnedest things. Romeo: “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”

14. Runnaway Bride – Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride. But it’s worth it. Maggie: “I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.”

15. Shrek – Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Stay true to you.

16. Sleepless in Seattle. Sometimes, it’s like a snowflake just for you. Sam: “Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”

17. The Bridges of Madison County. You know it when you feel it. Robert Kinkaid: “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”

18. The Crow. Remember them. Sarah: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”

19. The Notebook – If you’ve ever really loved, you know what it’s like to really live. Noah: “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”

20. The Princess Bride – Nothing beats true love. Miracle Max says, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”

21. The Way We Were – Remember how it felt when it wasn’t complicated. Hold on to that. Katie: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.”

22. The Wizard of Oz. Love isn’t meant to be practical. Wizard of Oz: “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”

23. Titanic. Endings can be bitter sweet. Jack: “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”

24. Wedding Crashers – Love more. You’ve got more capacity than you might think you do. John: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”

25. When Harry Met Sally. Sometimes love is like a new lease on life. Harry: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

My favorite (which does not feature in the above list) is more of a question than a quote. It’s from the Movie Bucket List starring Jack Nickelson and Morgan Freeman.

Excerpts from the pyramid scene;

Morgan: “The ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief – when their souls got to the entrance to heaven their gods asked them two questions, their answers determined whether they were admitted or not;

Q.1 have you found joy in your life?
Q.2 has your life brought joy to others?”

The above beliefs might have been surpassed by time but i believe their profound meaning is still relevant to this very day.

As we celebrate all matters love this month, ask yourself the above two questions and find out if they resonate with your inner being because joy is the essence of love.

Happy Valentines!!!

Choose Love💖

Love is all we need!

You did it! You survived the passage of time and made it to another year, which means it’s time to bask in the fleeting enthusiasm that comes with new resolutions and fresh planners and a slate wiped clean of 2018’s garbage. Savor that feeling, because before you know it, 2019 will become just as exhausting and weird.

However, as we begin this new year with high hopes and ambitions, I have created a Wishlist for my beloved readers so that you not only survive but thrive in every situation.

“Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it. Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength. Where there is fear, I wish you courage.”

Over and above all, I wish you Love, because love sums it all up as illustrated in the anecdote below;

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”   “Is the man of the house home?” they asked. “No,” she said, “he’s out.” “Then we cannot come in,” they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am home and invite them in!” The woman went out and invited the men in. “We do not go into a house together,” they replied. “Why is that?” she wanted to know. One of the old men explained, “His name is Wealth,” said pointing to one of his friends, and said, pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.” The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!” he said. “since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come in and fill our home with wealth!” His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?” Their daughter-in-law was listening from another corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!” “Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife.” Go out and invite Love to be our guest.” The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.” Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and followed him. Surprised, the woman asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, why are you coming in?” The old men replied together: ” If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would have stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is Wealth and Success!!!”

Happy New Year!

Leadership is earned not bestowed

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision. The director discovered from the CV, that the youth’s academic result was excellent. The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarship in school?” and the youth answered “no”. The director asked, ” Is it your father who paid for your school fees?” the youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it is my mother who paid for my school fees.” The director asked, “Where did your mother work?” the youth answered, “My mother worked as a cleaner.” The director requested the youth to show him his hands. The youth showed a pair of hand that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, “Did you ever help your mother wash the clothes?” The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.” The director said, “I have a request, when you go home today, look at your mother’s hand, and then come and see me tomorrow morning.” The youth felt that as the chance of landing the job is high, when he went back, he happily wanted to see his mother’s hand. His mother felt strange, happy but mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the kid. The youth looked at his mother’s hand slowly, his tears rolled down he cheeks. He never noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and that there are so many bruises in her hand.

This is the first time the youth realized and experienced that it was this pair of hand that washed clothes everyday to earn him the school fees, the bruises in the mother’s hand is the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future. After looking at him Mum’s hands, the youth quietly cleaned all remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office. The director noticed the tear in the youth’s eye, asked: “Can you tell what have you done and learned yesterday?” The youth answered, ” I looked at my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes.”‘ The director asked, “Please tell me your feelings.”

The youth replied:
Number 1 – I now appreciate the fact that without my mother, I would not be successful today.
Number 2 -, I now know how to work together with my mother; I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.
Number 3 – I know the importance and value of family relationships.

The director said, “This is what I am asking, I want to recruit a person that can appreciate the help of others, a person that understands the challenges of others to get thing done, and a person that would not put money as his only goal in life to be a Manager. You are hired.”

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employees worked diligently and in a team, the company’s result improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, develops an “entitlement mentality” and always put himself first. He is ignorant of others effort. When he starts work, he assumes every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a Manager, he never understands the challenges facing his employee and always blames others.

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash the dishes together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way and give them an appreciation that everything in life does not come easy.

The most important thing we all need to learn is how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty, and learn the ability to work with others to get things done.

Exceptional Leadership!
by Author Unknown

Dreamer

twirling

Climbing higher mountains

I will not descend downward

Until after I have conquered that fear

Clasping stars within my hands

They shall not stray from my touch

I am a dreamer

My wings lie in my mind

Where they allow me to divide the clouds

As I ascend through their cotton-like tufts

One cannot pierce my heart with any arrow

It is filled with pure bliss and compassion

No one will ever be able to seize that from me

Although at times my eyes may look wounded

My strength has never fled

Lessons Learned from Oprah Winfrey

Whether you’re a fan or not, there is no doubt that Oprah Winfrey changes lives, starting with her own. As a real life rags-to-riches story and a self-made success, she knows the power of choice, living with courage, and following your dreams. She makes things happen.

Success leaves clues. Using Oprah’s words of wisdom and endless resources for information, we can add many patterns and practices for success to our personal knowledge base.

25 Lessons Learned from Oprah Winfrey

While I can’t possibly do justice to Oprah’s lifetime of contribution and service, what I can do is look for themes and patterns. I think the most important theme I noticed is that Oprah is a self-starter and she’s a visionary. Her determination and drive carry her forward, while her reflection and continuous growth help her redefine who she is and carry the best forward. It’s like a fine wine getting better with age. Here are 25 lessons from Oprah we can learn and model from:

1. Keep your dreams right in front of you.
Keep your eye on the prize and follow your dreams. Oprah is a fan of using your dreams as inspiration and guide for your choices in life. She’s recommended creating a vision board to map out what you really want.
2. Anyone can go from rags to riches.
No excuses. It’s not what you were born into; it’s what you do with what you’ve got. Oprah made herself who she is. No matter how bad your past was, it doesn’t need to limit your destiny unless you live in the past.
3. Surround yourself with an A-team.
Learn from the best. Find the mentors and coaches that can help you bring out your best. Oprah has a team of experts on her side. For health, Oprah has Dr. Mehmet Oz, Bob Greene, and Dr. Katz. For spirit, she has Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Elizabeth Lesser, and Martha Beck. For style, she has Val Monroe and Adam Glassman. For relationships, she has Lisa Kogan and Dr. Laura Bergman. For home, she has Nate Berkus, Peter Walsh, and Simran Sethi. For money, she has Suze Orman and Jean Chatzky. She’s worked with best-selling author, Eckhart Tolle and “relationship and life strategy expert,” Dr. Phil. Who’s in your corner? It doesn’t need to be somebody famous. You can learn from people in the past or in the present, from books, or in real life. “Stand on the shoulders of giants” instead of start from scratch.
4. Declutter your life.
Clean up your messes. This could be your house (and Oprah has plenty of resources for organizing and simplifying.) This could be your emotions. This could be your everyday schedule. Declutter to create space for opportunity, creativity, and a sense of well-being. Decluttering can help you get rid of the energy drains and chaos.
5. Live in a more conscious way.
Increase your awareness. Be mindful. Be in the moment. Make thoughtful choices. For example, don’t make emotional food choices. Improve your self-awareness.
6. Practice an attitude of gratitude.
Don’t have a sense of entitlement. Appreciate what you’ve got, what you get, and don’t take things for granted.
7. Make the most of what you’ve got.
Make the most of … your mind … your body … your emotions (including self-esteem and confidence) … your relationships … your home.
8. Embrace the body you’ve got.
Nourish your body. Look your best. Feel your best. Like it or not, your body is yours. Take care of it, so it can take care of you. After all, it needs to last you a life time.
9. Learn for life.
Nourish your mind. Reading is fundamental. Oprah is a firm believer in education and the power of know-how. In the words of Oprah, “Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond our farm in Mississippi.”
10. Live your best life.
Take responsibility. Be accountable to yourself and to your dreams. Don’t settle. Oprah has extensive resources to help you live your best life. Check out Live Your Best Life and Oprah’s Best Life Video Webcast Archive.
11. Live your own dreams.
Be true to you. Live your truths. At the end of the day, you’re the one that knows your hopes and dreams and can make them happen. Make sure they’re you’re dreams and not somebody else’s.
12. Enjoy your space.
Take care of your surroundings. According to Oprah, one of the best things you can ever give yourself is to have beautiful surroundings.
13. Don’t let fear hold you back.
Take bold action. Don’t let fear make your decisions for you.
14. Think you can.
If you believe, you can achieve. Build your confidence and your self-esteem, one small moment, one choice, or one private victory at a time.
15. Give back.
Oprah consistently demonstrates philanthropy and contribution. She’s effectively dedicated her life to helping other’s live their best life.
16. Keep it real.
She lives larger than life, but she’s human. She’s vulnerable. She has her flaws. She strives for a better life. She lives a life of continuous improvement.
17. Own it.
It’s your life. Don’t point fingers. Don’t play the blame game. Make your dreams happen.
18. Find your inner peace.
Drop the baggage. Forgive and forget. Another key here is self-knowledge and integrity. Be the person you say you are, forgive yourself when you aren’t, and lead the life you want to live.
19. Don’t give up.
Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t give up on you. Persistence pays off.
20. Be present.
Live in the now, with an eye to the future. Know the results you’re getting. If you don’t like what you’re getting, change your approach. The most important thing you can change first is your attitude.
21. Journal it.
Writing your thoughts can help you reflect and get a more objective look at things. There’s a lot to be said for thinking on paper, even if it’s simple as just organizing your thoughts. Your journal can help improve your self-talk and it can help remind you what you think is important. It can also help you declutter your emotions and your mind.
22. Life’s short.
It really is. As 25 years of the Oprah Winfrey Show ends, and a new chapter for Oprah begins, it’s another reminder that time is limited, life it short, and the best you can do is make the most of what you’ve got.
23. Live without ego.
Eckhart Tolle teaches us that our egos get in the way of living our best life, and Oprah reinforces this message. Through self-acceptance, living in the moment, finding our truths, and giving ourselves to a higher purpose, we unleash our best.
24. Savor the moments.
Savor your relationships. Savor your choices. Savor your food. Savor your joys. Take in your moments. Your moments make up your life.
25. Add fresh starts to your life.
Whether it’s a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year … or simply a new attitude, make it a fresh start. Find the ways to renew yourself, whether it’s a make-over for you or your house, and find the inspiration for a new lease on life.

Top 10 Oprah Winfrey Quotes
Oprah is a wealth of great quotes and she has many words of wisdom. You can learn a lot about her and her insights through her quotes. Here are my top 10 favorite Oprah quotes:

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner’s manual your creator gave you and destroying your design.
I knew there was a way out. I knew there was another kind of life because I had read about it. I knew there were other places, and there was another way of being.
The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance – and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Turn your wounds into wisdom.
We are each responsible for our own life – no other person is or even can be.
What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come.
What I know for sure is that if you want success, you can’t make success your goal. The key is not to worry about being successful, but to instead work toward being significant, and the success will naturally follow.
You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.

Oprah Winfrey Quotes
I’ve included some of my favorite Oprah Winfrey quotes below. I’ve organized them using the following categories: General, Choice, Dreams / Destiny / Purpose, Giving / Gratitude, Growth, Fear / Failure, Identity / Individuality, Opportunity / Possibility, Passion / Energy, Relationships, and Success.

Oprah on General Philosophy
Excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism.
I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace – a connection to what matters.
I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself.
I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes.
In every aspect of our lives, we are always asking ourselves, How am I of value? What is my worth? Yet I believe that worthiness is our birthright.
It’s much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That’s the truth.
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
There’s no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!
Oprah on Choice
Be more splendid, more extraordinary. Use every moment to fill yourself up.
Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.
I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.
I believe that uncertainty is really my spirit’s way of whispering, “I’m in flux. I can’t decide for you. Something is off-balance here.
I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.
With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.
Oprah on Dreams / Destiny / Purpose
Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it’s right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.
I believe that everyone is the keeper of a dream – and by tuning into one another’s secret hopes, we can become better friends, better partners, better parents, and better lovers.
I knew there was a way out. I knew there was another kind of life because I had read about it. I knew there were other places, and there was another way of being.
I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we’re not wise enough to see it.
I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.
It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.
Often we don’t even realize who we’re meant to be because we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny.
The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance – and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
Use what you have to run toward your best – that’s how I now live my life.
You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.
Oprah on Giving / Gratitude
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
I don’t think you ever stop giving. I really don’t. I think it’s an on-going process. And it’s not just about being able to write a check. It’s being able to touch somebody’s life.
I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself.
Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence for all of life’s blessings.
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.
Oprah on Growth
Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a different way to stand.
I am a woman in process. I’m just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull.
Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way.
The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.
You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.
Oprah on Fear / Failure
Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.
Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.
I believe that one of life’s greatest risks is never daring to risk.
I don’t believe in failure. It is not failure if you enjoyed the process.
I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.
It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn – which is what life is all about.
So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.
The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.
Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.
You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another.
Oprah on Identity / Individuality
All these years I’ve been feeling like I was growing into myself. Finally, I feel grown.
As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you … the first time around.
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
I always knew I was destined for greatness.
I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.
I’m black, I don’t feel burdened by it and I don’t think it’s a huge responsibility. It’s part of who I am. It does not define me.
If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are.
Let your light shine. Shine within you so that it can shine on someone else. Let your light shine.
Partake of some of life’s sweet pleasures. And yes, get comfortable with yourself.
Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes.
What we’re all striving for is authenticity, a spirit-to-spirit connection.
Oprah on Opportunity / Possibility
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.
Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.
If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.
When I look into the future, it’s so bright it burns my eyes.
Oprah on Passion / Energy
Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you’re going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.
If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race.
Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.
Oprah on Relationships
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with.
Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Oprah on Success
For every one of us that succeeds, it’s because there’s somebody there to show you the way out.
I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity.
If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.
I’ve learned that you can’t have everything and do everything at the same time.
The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.
Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded, or how much power you have.
What material success does is provide you with the ability to concentrate on other things that really matter. And that is being able to make a difference, not only in your own life, but in other people’s lives.

What should make you tick?

1. Gratitude

All smiles please!!!

All you have to do is think about the good things in your life. Being grateful will do wonders to your brain. Be thankful that you have your health. Be thankful for your family & friends. It’s important to feel lucky to be alive.

2. Practice something challenging

Whether you are learning a new instrument or learning how to swing upside down at aerial yoga, doing something that you can improve on every day will send endorphins (happy hormones) to your brain. So make sure to challenge yourself.

3. Force yourself to smile

Even if you don’t feel like it, plastering a smile on your face will trick your brain into thinking that you are happy and your mood will instantly lift.

4. Connect with another person

The one thing that really makes humans happy is connecting with others. Whether it’s with a family member, a partner or a friend. If you aren’t happy, just pick up the phone and call someone to feel connected.

5. Stop procrastinating

People who don’t ‘put things off until tomorrow’ are generally happier, as they have a proactive attitude and don’t waste time. Very often completing a task will leave people feeling accomplished and proud, thus making them feel happy.

6. Be intellectually curious

Reading books about complex topics or watching documentaries that explain how the world works, is a trait that most happy people have. Happy people are curious about intellectual topics and enjoy meaningful conversations with others.

7. Openness to new experiences

Whether you try a new dish at a restaurant or sign up for a scuba diving lesson, new experiences make people feel a lot happier than those who don’t want to get out their comfort zone.

8. Physical affection

According to Virginia Satir, a respected American therapist, people need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs for maintenance and twelve hugs for growth. The trickle-down effect of the oxytocin release following a hug can reduce stress and elevate your mood. Make your hugs count.

9. Compassion

Scientists have proven that those who are interested in other peoples’ lives, stories and problems are usually a lot happier than those who are only concerned with themselves. Communicating and connecting with others makes human beings thrive. Compassionate people also tend to do random acts of kindness for people they love and also for strangers. They tend to be happier and more satisfied with their life.

10. Work on strengthening your relationships

A 75-year long study of 268 Harvard undergraduate males looked at life from every aspect, ranging from lifestyle to political views. The most important finding of the unique study was that relationships are the only thing that matter in having a fulfilled and happy life. Nurture your closest relationships and let go of toxic ones.

 

TIMELESS LOVE QUOTES

 

Love is so many things: gentle, liberating, warm, and timeless. Love is the binding that seals our very existence. Love keeps us whole and encourages us to share the adoration we feel for others, and even to cherish ourselves. It you feel love is hiding from your surroundings, know that you can always find it within, because it is never out of reach.

  • ‘To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.’
  • ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.’
  • ‘Love is like wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.’
  • ‘A loving heart is the truest wisdom.’
  • ‘There is no remedy of love than to love more.’
  • ‘Love is the greatest refreshment in life.’
  • ‘Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.’
  • ‘Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.”
  • ‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind.’
  • ‘Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.’
  • ‘Nobody has ever measured, not even poet, how much the heart can hold.’
  • ‘Love is the voice under all silence, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun more last than stars…’
  • ‘Love having no geography knows no boundaries.’
  • ‘When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you.’
  • ‘Love is of all passions that strongest for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the sense.’
  • ‘When there is love there is life.’
  • ‘Who, being loved, is poor?’