In the market you find a poor woman with a baby at her back,you lower your car window and with a military rough command voice you asked her:
“How much are you selling those onions and bananas?”
The poor seller politely replies,
“$3 for a bunch of bananas and $2,50 for a pack of onions.”
With pride you demand the bunch of bananas at $2 and the the pack of onions at $1,50 or else you will leave.
The poor seller resigns to fate and replies, “take them at the price you want.I have not made any sale today, at least I have something for supper now.”
She has made a loss but she goes further to buy a plastic bag for you to pack the two items you have just bought.
You order her to hurry up otherwise you may change your mind.She apologises and with a smile, she gives you the items and she blesses you for patronizing her.
You literally throw the money at her and you sped away leaving behind a cloud of smoke and dust which causes a bit of discomfort to her and the baby.She is coughing while securing her little money.Her poverty has left her with no choice.
You have now arrived at the 5-star restaurant where you are to meet friends and you ask them to order food and drinks of their choice.
They order expensive food and the leftovers are more than the food they have eaten.
The total bill is $400 and you pay without bargaining, you gave a tip of $50 appreciating the waiter for a delicious meal….which you didn’t eat even half of.
This incident might seem quite normal to you but it’s inhumane…
THE POINT IS:-👇
Why do we always show that we have the bargaining power when we buy from the poor?
Why do we become arrogant when buying from the poor?
Why do we become stingy when buying from the vulnerable?
Why do we show generosity to those who do not even need our generosity?
Why do we become polite when buying from the rich who view our money as mere change?
Why do we channel money to a sea of money?
Please buy simple goods from the poor people at high prices….do it deliberately.
Sometimes, pay extra for the items you buy from poor women…you are only blessing them in your little way
Please where possible buy items from local markets.
To everyone reading this, please, everytime you see them in traffic, taxi parks, bus stops, on the streets….just buy!
Don’t bargain.They are not looking for money to buy expensive clothes or mansions or cars, but to feed their children back home and pay school fees.
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Be strong, be kind, be free
Do things that make you proud of yourself
Surround yourself with people who bring out the best qualities
and distance yourself from people who do the opposite
True to yourself and true to your morals
Stand up for yourself
Don’t let people take advantage of your kindness and soft heart
Don’t take sh*t from anyone and don’t put yourself down
Believe in yourself and believe in your journey
Be good to yourself
Be unapologetically you
Embrace your imperfections
Accept the fact that when you grow sometimes you loose people and that’s okay
Celebrate your every success and learn from failure
And most importantly, never, ever let anything stand
in the way of the person you are becoming
- Morning Routine
- Create an early morning routine so that you can build momentum for the day. This includes waking up consistently before sunrise.
- Concentrate on your daily goals. We become what we think about
- Think Positively.
- Have a positive mental attitude so that you can achieve positive results
- Trust Yourself
- Ignore the haters.
- Associate yourself with successful and like-minded people
- Learn Daily
- Go to bed smarter by reading books, watching seminars and listening to audio books.
- Build One Habit at a Time
- It takes 66 days to develop a habit.
- Impatience is Weakness
- Be patient when working on your goals, you can’t be strong all the time, you will have your ups and downs.
A farmer went to the field one day to cultivate.
During the work, he glanced at the mango tree and saw a big ripe mango he plucked it.
An idea occurred to him not to eat this mango, but to take it home to his wife whom he loves so much, even though he was starving.
When he got home, he called his wife and gave her the mango to show her his love.
Very happy with this precious gift, the woman thought directly of her child who had gone to school.
She took the mango, thanked her husband sincerely and reassured him that she would eat it afterwards.
The woman hid the mango and decided to give it to her son as soon as he returns from school to show him her love.
As soon as the child came back from school, the mother gave him this mango with a lot of joy in her heart.
The child thanked his mother warmly for this precious gift and told his mother that he would eat it later.
He too resolved to hide this mango and make a surprise gift to his father who pays his school fees, believing that the Dad knows nothing about this mango.
In the evening while everyone was eating the family meal, the child said to his father:
“One minute dad, I will bring you a present because I love you so much”.
He ran to his room, took the mango and gave it to his father.
He was surprised to see the same mango he had given to his beloved wife returned back to him again.
Without any comment, he asked for a knife and shared it equally among the three of them (himself, his wife and his child).
They all ate this mango with a lot of joy.
That’s how love works.
When you give love, it comes back to you in another way, because love is the most extraordinary force that governs the universe of God.
Let’s show love unconditionally to people we get in contact with.
Show love without expecting anything in return
This is a time/ season to show love.
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Elliot
Adding new experiences to your life is the best way to stay fully engaged, energized, and enthusiastic.
Otherwise you burn out from boredom.
Your routines and monotony will eat your soul.
When you shake things up, you active your brain, and you reengage with your life. And that’s how you live.
Seek Novelty and Challenge to Be Happier in Life
Science says our brains seek change. Novelty and challenge are the keys to help you break out of routines and ruts, and to create a sense of energy and enthusiasm.
“After peering into thousands of people’s brains with advanced imaging machines such as the MRI, neuroscientists have concluded that the brain is hardwired to seek and enjoy novelty and challenge.
Remember those two ingredients: novelty and challenge.
You can have all the right fixing for an incredible life–love, respect, abundance, and so on–but without those two ingredients your recipe ends up as a bland soup of sadness and disengagement.”
An engaged brain is a happy one. When you try new things, you give your brain a chance to come alive and get back in the game.
Your brain loves “let’s figure this out” mode when you give it a chance.
Your brain becomes much more activated when something novel or challenging occurs. Novel things make your mind snap to attention and become sharp, releasing dopamine and energizing your brain to go into ‘let’s figure this out’ mode. It’s what motivates us to learn. If that novelty also challenges us then our brains stay engaged for even longer. And an engaged brain is a happy brain.
1. The Ninety-Day Getaway
Take a trip, once every three months (once a quarter in corporate warrior terms).
Every ninety days, plan a getaway either by yourself or with our spouse or significant other. Yes, every ninety days. This doesn’t have to be a trip around the world–the goal isn’t how far you travel; it’s how far you get away, the difference being measured not in the miles you travel, but in how far mentally you break the monotony of routine in order to relax and rejuvenate.
2. The Restaurant or Dining Tour
Date night is a great night to try some new places to eat. If you don’t have a date night, maybe that’s your starting point.
Make your date nights an excursion to a new restaurant once a week. If you’re in a small town, get a group of friends to host dinner every few weeks. The goal is to get about town and experience new dining experiences.
3. Shows, Sporting Events, Experiences
There is always something going on. And something amazing might be happening right in your own backyard.
I am constantly surprised when I find out who’s in town, or what shows are playing, or what fun things there are to do, either in the local neighborhood or a hop-skip-and a jump away.
It’s a reminder that I really need to map out and pay attention to local area events.
What’s happening in your city this weekend? Are there shows or performances you can go see? Any new exhibits or exhibitions? Despite the fact that many of us love going to the movies, sporting events, or the theater, most of us rarely do. Make it a habit to be on the lookout for things you can go see and cheer for.
4. Travel Adventures
Traveling is a great way to explore new places and try new things. The most interesting thing to me is how some places don’t feel like any other places on the planet.
Do you have a list of the top-fifty destinations you want to go in your life? Are you actively checking them off the list, at least once per year? If not, get to it. Traveling is one of the surest ways to introduce novelty, engagement, and excitement in your life.
5. Expanding Your Peer Circle
Long ago a friend of mine gave me a new metaphor for people. He said that I had looked at the people in my life in a static way. More like a lake. He said I needed to take a river view, and keep in mind that people are constantly flowing into and out of our lives.
A little habit I adopted at work is to challenge myself to regularly meet new people and expand my worlds. And I find new people bring new energy, and I feed off that.
It’s funny how ‘making friends’ is so important to us when we’re young, but we lay off our efforts the older we get. But your friendship and peer circles are the most important external influences in determining your happiness (outside of your intimate relationship). Get serious about expanding your peer circle by going to networking events, fund-raisers, and local events and performances. Be on the lookout not just for networking purposes, but for friendship-making purposes.
6. Skill Development
Adding new skills is a great way to keep your brain alive and open the doors to new possibilities.
What ten skills should you develop this year? How actively are you currently chasing and working toward mastery of something like writing, speaking, singing, cooking, programming, leading, playing soccer, or some other artistic, athletic, or professional skill?
The challenge of seeking new skills is one of the surest ways to test and transcend your own boundaries. Go find something new to learn, and fall on your face trying to learn it. Enjoy the process of learning–it’s one of the easiest paths to a more engaged brain (and life).
The quality of your life is really the quality of your experiences.
If you want to raise the bar and feel fully alive, then challenge yourself to find new ways to try new things and to add new experiences to your life.
Otherwise, you may slowly lose your spark that makes everything else worth it.
Keep your spark.
The greatest asset in life is our relationship balance
Go check out a person who has good relationships in life what they can achieve with one phone call, others cannot achieve with a million dollars.
Many studies have been done which says people who have good relationships they live happier and healthier lives. Our relationships friends and relatives, they are our support group.
We are talking about personally, professionally and socially.
Our family, people who are emotionally strong, you see in any crisis they come out stronger and people who are emotionally weak, they fight; they distort and make things fall apart.
People who are emotionally weak can never build lasting relationships with them because they are moody people, whimsical people, they are all sugar and honey to you today and they are out to cut your throat tomorrow. They are imbalanced and imbalanced people you cannot trust. In any relationship the foundation is trust and trust is built on integrity.
Personally, professionally there are many people who join groups like the chamber of commerce, BNI’s the Rotary, the Lions to network and they think they are building relationships and their definition of relationship is make connections with this people because someday they could be useful.
Usefulness goes, friendship also goes, there is no relationship – they are only takers, they are parasites only to suck whatever they can get and relationships are never built on taking, they are always built on giving.
Relationships are built on adding value addition to the relationship or to the other person were you need to give something.
There are four kinds of friendships in life;
- The friendship of convenience
- The friendship of usefulness
- The friendship because of a common enemy
- The friendship built on mutual respect
Helping each other is a duty of a friend; it is never the purpose of friendship. Helping always remains incidental to friendship.
To build lasting friendships and lasting relationships we must be willing to give and add value addition to another person’s life and that is what keeps a long-time relationship to be strong.
Go build it and you will live a much healthier, happier life.
A peasant used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all reach the age of 12 I will tell you the secret of life. One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers.
—The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk. “What are you saying?” Asked the boy incredulously. —As you hear it, son: The cow does not give milk, you have to milk it. You have to get up at 4 in the morning, go to the field, walk through the corral full of manure, tie the tail, hobble the legs of the cow, sit on the stool, place the bucket and do the work your self. That is the secret of life, the cow does not give milk. You milk her or you don’t get milk.
There is this generation that thinks that cows GIVE milk. That things are automatic and free: their mentality is that if ” I wish, I ask….. I obtain.”
” They have been accustomed to get what ever they want the easy way… But No, life is not a matter of wishing, asking and obtaining. The things that one receives are the effort of what one does. Happiness is the result of effort. Lack of effort creates frustration.
So, remember to share with your children, from a young age, the secret of life. So they don’t grow up with the mentality that the government, their parents, or their cute little faces is going to give them everything they need in life.
“Cows don’t give milk. You have to work for it”
- Life isn’t fair but it’s still good.
- When in doubt, just take the next time.
- Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
- Pay off your credit cards every month.
- You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
- Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
- Save for retirement, starting with your first payslip.
- When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
- Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
- It’s okay to let your children see you cry.
- Don’t compare your life to other’s. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
- If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
- Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
- You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
- A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
- It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
- When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
- Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
- Over prepare, then go with the flow.
- Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
- The most important sex organ is the brain.
- No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
- Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
- Forgive everyone everything.
- What other people think of your is none of your business.
- Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
- However good or bag a situation is, it will change.
- Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family will. Stay in touch.
- Believe in miracles.
- Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
- Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
- Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
- Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
- If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s we’d grab ours back.
- Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
- Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.
- All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
- Envy is a waster of time. You already have all you need.
- The best is yet to come.
- No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
- Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
- If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
- Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
- Once upon a time I met a man who told me that: telling the truth and making someone cry, is better than telling a lie and making someone smile and happy.
- He said to me your true friends are those who will never avoid you just because they have met new friends.
- As he kept on speaking to me, he said if some people do not appreciate and value my presence, I should work hard to make them value and appreciate my absence.
- He said I must not be angry with anyone who is quiet on me because there must be a reason why they are quiet, and that I will get to know the reason later.
- He told me it is always better to be a blessing to others at all times than to be a burden at any time.
- He said I must learn to forgive others not because they deserve it but because I deserve the peace that comes with forgiveness.
- I must know that everyone deserves a second chance and many more chances if they ask for forgiveness, but I must not lose my guard over their intentions.
- I must not only talk to people in my free time, but I must free my time to talk to people.
- I must know that the truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie will hurt for a long time.
- I must learn to value and respect people who tell me the Truth no matter how painful the truth is.
- I must make my decisions when I am in the right mood, not when I am angry, likewise I must not make promises when I am excited with high emotions.
- I must know that some people are like candles that burn themselves to give light to others. I should not have regrets if I happen to be one of such candles.
- I must learn to be a caring friend because it is a thousand times better than a careless lover.
- I should value and protect my relationships of many years of investments, because they are like a book that takes years to write but, can get burnt only within few seconds.
- He specifically said this repeatedly that: If I have a problem with someone, I should go tell the person and not go tell the world.
- He said to me that I should know that nobody is too busy, it is just a matter of their priorities within a day.
- He said to me that people can trust you when you are consistent with what you say and what you do.
- He said with a low voice, only God can be totally trusted. Trust God 100%.
- He then said: no matter what, I must not forget those who helped and stood by me in my time of trials and during my difficult times.
- I must always remember those who turned their backs on me in my difficult times of trials. Not for vengeance, but for the lesson of life.
- I must be careful with those who put me into difficult times but I must never hate them. It is a lesson of life.
- He said again: I must be grateful at all times to God for this life and for living. It is a privilege, and not a right.
- As he was leaving me, he said, always remember how temporary this world is, you must always be conscious of the reality of eternity with God in heaven or with Satan in hell fire.
Ants teach you that no matter how terrifying things may look up ahead, you should never chicken out. They are a lot braver than your action movie heroes
Ants are constantly preparing for the season which is yet to come. It has a start contrast to human behaviour. Your priorities can sometimes be driven by what you feel like doing.
Mind Your Own Business
We often like to talk about others, our friends, society and how bad the world is. We have lot of time to talk about others and poke into others business. Ants on the other hand mind their business.
Everything an ant does is for the benefit of the colony and they will work until they are done. Almost on autopilot, each ant knows their duties and they do everything they can do to get their duties completed.
Adapt To Surroundings
You can find ants just about everywhere. Ants know where to find resources and you should do the same. Be quick to adapt to your surrounding and don’t wait for a wake-up call.
Hard Work Matters
Ants are noted for carrying objects that are bigger than them. This is only make possible through sheer hard work and determination. They are not scared of heavy tasks.
Sense Of Discipline
Without a mistake they march after one another in a line. Without dispute or accident, they move about in order. But everywhere in life man finds loopholes to divide.
Spirit Of Sharing
The ants share everything they get. They never eat anything alone. But what do we humans do? If we find something immediately, we try our best to hoard it in a secret place.
If you put your finger in an ants path, it just walks around it and soldiers on. It won’t let your fingers hinder it’s work. You should do the same and not let silly problems get in your way.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”
Try Stuff, Even If It’s Not Perfect
It reminds me to keep things real and not get caught up in perfection, or the ideal that does not exist.
That’s the essence and foundation for personal growth.
It reminds me just to try…to give my best effort… to get in the arena and go for it… even if it’s not pretty and it’s not perfect.
And it’s that fundamental mindset that sets the stage to be able to practice the things that lead to doing great things, even if it’s not pretty, and it’s not perfect.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about progress… and progress is actually one of the secrets to happiness.
When we grow, we light up our life, even if it’s in some small way.
10 Reminders About Not Doing Things Perfectly
Too many people die with their music still in them, or they never realize their potential, because they get caught up in perfection.
Here are a few of my other favorite reminders about not worrying about doing things perfectly:
- A friend of mine was good about reminding me: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” That was his way of saying to me, focus on “good enough for now” so we could move on the next challenge, and not get stuck in analysis paralysis or the perfection trap.
- Similarly, Voltaire put it, ““The best is the enemy of the good.” Voltaire always has a way with words.
- I always liked the phrase: “Make it work, then make it right.” (balanced with the idea that if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over 😉 … another way to think of this is, don’t get caught up in pre-mature perfection.
- Perfection is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the journey of learning and mastery. This is the essence of continuous improvement. Thinking back, this is really the big idea that helped me avoid a life of worrying about perfection, and instead, focus on progress.
- Focus on progress over perfection. I always liked the idea that to get better at something, you have to do it more than once. It takes practice. You can’t practice very much if you are caught up in perfection. When I think about it like that, it reminds me of Simon Sinek’s phrasing, “Better is better than best.”
- One of my best mentors was good at asking, “Is it effective?” That was a much better focus, than worrying about some arbitrary notion or measure of perfection. It was a simple reminder that if it wasn’t working, change your approach. It’s far better to focus on effectiveness, improvement, or progress. That’s where the growth is.
- As Confucius put it, “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” Talk about trading up.
- As Shakespeare put it, “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.” I’ve seen so many good things, come to an end, either for the sake of perfection, or over-doing something that was better in it’s rough and useful form. I’ve seen some great art, great ideas, and great projects die that way. Sometimes you just need to leave well enough alone.
- As my mechanic always said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” He was incredibly pragmatic about where to invest time and energy, and not to throw good money after bad.
- As Leo Tolstoy put it, “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” It’s one thing to have great expectations, but don’t let your expectations drain the juice out of your life.
Perfectionism Is Fundamentally Flawed
Here’s what Wikipedia says about perfectionism:
“Perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”
Don’t Fear Perfection
The good news is you don’t ever have to fear perfection.
As Salvador Dali reminds us with his inspiring words:
“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
How perfect is that?
Long time ago in the Animal Kingdom, a sheep was passing and saw a lion crying inside a cage trap and the Lion begged the Sheep to save him with a promise not to kill and eat it but the Sheep refused*.
After much persuasion and due the Sheep’s gullibility it opened the cage for the Lion.
Now the Lion was very hungry having stayed in the cage for days without food.
It quickly grabbed the Sheep to kill and eat but the Sheep reminded him of his promise.
They were still there arguing when other animals came passing and they sought to know what happened.
*Both the Lion and the Sheep narrated their own side of the story but because of fear and in trying to gain favour with the Lion, all the animals took sides with the Lion except the Tortoise who claimed not to understand the whole scenario*.
Now the Tortoise asked the Lion to show them where he was before the Sheep rescued him, he pointed at the cage.
He asked again, “were you inside or outside when the sheep arrived”? The Lion said he was inside.
The Tortoise again said “ok, enter lets see how difficult it could be inside”.
The Lion entered and the Tortoise locked him back inside.
*In amazement the other animals asked Tortoise “why” and he replied “if we allow him eat the Sheep today, he will still go hungry tomorrow and we don’t know the next amongst us to be eaten tomorrow*.
Don’t support evil today because it doesn’t affect you directly, tomorrow it could be your turn.
My mother graduated in 1965 &
got a teaching job at a Government
The teachers were given car loans
& she bought a brand new Opel
They were to pay back the loan
over 4 years.
However, one of the teachers took
half of the money the others took
Bought a fairly used car & got a driver.
So, when other teachers would drive to
school & park their brand new cars, his
driver would drop him off in the
morning & come and pick him at knocking off time.
My mum said they laughed at him,
calling him “Acting Big Man” because
he got a driver…
But he’d just smile.
One day, one of the teachers had cause
to go out of the school during school
hours. He returned to report that he
saw his colleague’s driver using his car
When they “reported” his driver to
him, he said he was aware that was
why he hired a driver…
Why park a car for 6-8 hours, when it
can be making money for you?
The other teachers were stunned:
suddenly, he didn’t look as stupid as
Now, because of the extra income from
using his car as a taxi, he was able to
pay back the loan in a year…
By the 2nd year, he bought a 2nd car to
add to his taxi fleet.
By the 3rd year, he bought 2 more
By the 4th year when my mum & others
finished paying their loans, this guy had 6 taxis.
Then he bought a brand new Opel
Kadett, the newer model!
Other cars were 4 years old…
My mum said, that was the moment
they realised who was smart & who was
foolish among them all.
This happened 1965-1970.
I was born 1968, in the midst of all this.
I was told that story in 1979 when I
entered secondary school
It has remained in my brains since then…
Today, I see too many young folks more
interested in *spending* their money instead of *investing* it they
don’t have to buy the things they don’t
need to impress people who don’t like
Too many people living fake lives in
these days of social media.
The fake generation buy fake hair, fake nails , list is long – fake almost everything.
I’ve seen people pose by cars they don’t
own to take pictures & post on social
Young people don’t seem to understand
discretion: the competition to out do
each other in the “I’ve arrived” ranking
is just too much.
My niece, an undergraduate asked me
to buy her a phone…
I asked what type does she want: she
mentioned a type, I checked the price:
Now, I use an Infinix Hot 5 worth maybe $50US or less
thereabout, it was even a gift by one
of my site contractors.
But this 20 year old girl wants to use a
$200 US phone!
Something is definitely wrong
Seriously, we can’t continue like this.
My generation is halfway out.
I am sorry for the younger generation,
those aged 16-30. I honestly don’t know
what this world would be like when
they are in their 50s & 60s.
May God’s mercy prevail upon them,
may He give them sense.
Let me add:
Mike Murdock says,
“A foolish man will enjoy a perfect
today & lose a perfect tomorrow.
A wise man will forfeit a perfect today
to gain a perfect tomorrow.”
Every young person needs to
Law 1: Never outshine the master
Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power
When it comes to power, outshining the master is perhaps the worst mistake of all.
Never take your position for granted and never let any favors you receive go to your head.
Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies
But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them
Since honesty rarely strengthens friendship, you may never know how a friend truly feels. Friends will say that they love your poetry, adore your music, envy your taste in clothes— maybe they mean it, often they do not.
The key to power, then, is the ability to judge who is best able to further your interests in all situations. Keep friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent.
Law 3: Conceal Your Intentions
Use decoyed objects and desires and red herrings to throw people off the scent
Hide your intentions not by closing up (with the risk of appearing secretive, and making people suspicious) but by talking endlessly about your desires and goals— just not your real ones. You will kill three birds with one stone: You appear friendly, open, and trusting; you conceal your intentions; and you send your rivals on time-consuming wild-goose chases.
Use smoke screens to disguise your actions. This derives from a simple truth: people can only focus on one thing at a time. It is really too difficult for them to imagine that the bland and harmless person they are dealing with is simultaneously setting up something else
As Kierkegaard wrote, “The world wants to be deceived.”
Law 4: Always say less than necessary
One oft-told tale about Kissinger… involved a report that Winston Lord had worked on for days. After giving it to Kissinger, he got it back with the notation, “Is this the best you can do?” Lord rewrote and polished and finally resubmitted it; back it came with the same curt question. After redrafting it one more time— and once again getting the same question from Kissinger-Lord snapped, “Damn it, yes, it’s the best I can do. ” To which Kissinger replied: “Fine, then I guess I’ll read it this time. ”
Persons who cannot control his words shows that he cannot control himself, and is unworthy of respect. But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief. Power cannot accrue to those who squander their treasure of words.
Power is in many ways a game of appearances, and when you say less than necessary, you inevitably appear greater and more powerful than you are.
Learn the lesson: Once the words are out, you cannot take them back. Keep them under control. Be particularly careful with sarcasm: The momentary satisfaction you gain with your biting words will be outweighed by the price you pay.
Law 5: So much depends on reputation, guard it with your life
Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.
Doubt is a powerful weapon: Once you let it out of the bag with insidious rumors, your opponents are in a horrible dilemma.
Once you have a solid base of respect, ridiculing your opponent both puts him on the defensive and draws more attention to you, enhancing your own reputation.
Law 6: Court attention at all costs
Surround your name with the sensational and the scandalous.
Better to be slandered and attacked than ignored.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
At the start of your career, you must attach your name and reputation to a quality, an image, that sets you apart from other people.
Create an air of mystery.
Remember: Most people are upfront, can be read like an open book, take little care to control their words or image, and are hopelessly predictable. By simply holding back, keeping silent, occasionally uttering ambiguous phrases, deliberately appearing inconsistent, and acting odd in the subtlest of ways, you will emanate an aura of mystery. The people around you will then magnify that aura by constantly trying to interpret you
Do something that cannot be easily explained or interpreted
Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit
Law 8: Make other people come to you, use bait if necessary
For negotiations or meetings, it is always wise to lure others into your territory, or the territory of your choice. You have your bearings, while they see nothing familiar and are subtly placed on the defensive.
Law 9: Win through your actions, never through argument
Law 10: Infection: Avoid the unhappy or the unlucky
When you suspect you are in the presence of an infector, don’t argue, don’t try to help, don’t pass the person on to your friends, or you will become enmeshed. Flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences.
Law 11: Learn to keep people dependent on you
Law 12: Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim
Law 13: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self interest, never their mercy or gratitude
Law 14: Pose as a friend, work as a spy
Law 15: Crush your enemy totally
Law 16: Use absence to increase strength and honor
The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.
At the start of an affair, you need to heighten your presence in the eyes of the other. If you absent yourself too early, you may be forgotten. But once your lover’s emotions are engaged, and the feeling of love has crystallized, absence inflames and excites. Giving no reason for your absence excites even more.
Law 17: Keep others in suspended terror, cultivate an air of unpredictability
Too much unpredictability will be seen as a sign of indecisiveness, or even of some more serious psychic problem. Patterns are powerful, and you can terrify people by disrupting them. Such power should only be used judiciously.
Law 18: Do not build a fortress to protect yourself, isolation is dangerous
Law 19: Know who you’re dealing with, do not offend the wrong person
Law 20: Do not commit to anyone
Do not commit to anyone, but be courted by all.
When you hold yourself back, you incur not anger but a kind of respect. You instantly seem powerful because you make yourself ungraspable, rather than succumbing to the group, or to the relationship, as most people do.
People who rush to the support of others tend to gain little respect in the process, for their help is so easily obtained, while those who stand back find themselves besieged with supplicants.
Do not commit to anyone, stay above the fray.
Remember: You have only so much energy and so much time. Every moment wasted on the affairs of others subtracts from your strength.
Law 21: Play a sucker to catch a sucker, seem dumber than your mark
Given how important the idea of intelligence is to most people’s vanity, it is critical never inadvertently to insult or impugn a person’s brain power.
Law 22: Use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power
People trying to make a show of their authority are easily deceived by the surrender tactic.
It is always our first instinct to react, to meet aggression with some other kind of aggression. But the next time someone pushes you and you find yourself starting to react, try this: Do not resist or fight back, but yield, turn the other cheek, bend.
If you surrender instead, you have an opportunity to coil around your enemy and strike with your fangs from close up.
Law 23: Concentrate your forces
intensity defeats extensity every time.
Law 24: Play the perfect courtier
The laws of court politics:
Avoid ostentationPractice nonchalanceBe frugal with flatteryArrange to be noticedAlter your style and language according to the person ou are dealing withNever be the bearer of bad newsNever affect friendliness and intimacy with your masterNever criticize those above you directlyBe frugal in asking those above you for favorsNever joke about appearances of tastesDo not be the court cynicBe self observantMaster your emotionsFit the spirits of the timesBe the source of pleasure
Law 25: Re-Create Yourself
Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you.
The world wants to assign you a role in life. And once you accept that role you are doomed.
Remake yourself into a character of power. Working on yourself like clay should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks.
The first step in the process of self-creation is self-consciousness— being aware of yourself as an actor and taking control of your appearance and emotions.
The second step in the process of self-creation is a variation on the George Sand strategy: the creation of a memorable character, one that compels attention, that stands out above the other players on the stage.
Law 26: Keep your hands clean
Conceal your mistakes, have a scapegoat around to blame.
Make use of the cats paw.
Law 27: Play on people’s need to believe to create a cult like following
Five rules of cult making
Keep it vague, keep it simpleEmphasize the visual and sensational over the intellectualBorrow the forms of organized religion to structure the groupDisguise your source of incomeSet up an us vs them dynamic
Law 28: Enter action with boldness
The bolder lie the better.
Lions circle the hesitant prey.
Boldness strikes fear, fear creates authority.
Going halfway with half a heart digs a deeper grave.
Hesitation creates gaps, boldness obliterates them.
Audacity separates you from the herd.
When you are as small and obscure as David was, you must find a Goliath to attack. The larger the target, the more attention you gain.
Law 29: Plan all the way to the end
Law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless
Law 31: Control the options, get others to play with the cards you deal
You give people a sense of how things will fall apart without you, and you offer them a “choice”: I stay away and you suffer the consequences, or I return under circumstances that I dictate.
Color the choices, propose three or four choices of action for each situation, and would present them in such a way that the one he preferred always seemed the best solution compared to the others.
Force the resister, Push them to “choose” what you want them to do by appearing to advocate the opposite.
Alter the playing field.
The shrinking options: A variation on this technique is to raise the price every time the buyer hesitates and another day goes by. This is an excellent negotiating ploy to use on the chronically indecisive, who will fall for the idea that they are getting a better deal today than if they wait till tomorrow.
The weak man on the precipice: This tactic is similar to “Color the Choices,” but with the weak you have to be more aggressive. Work on their emotions— use fear and terror to propel them into action. Try reason and they will always find a way to procrastinate.
Brothers in Crime: You attract your victims to some criminal scheme, creating a bond of blood and guilt between you.
The horns of a dilemma: The lawyer leads the witnesses to decide between two possible explanations of an event, both of which poke a hole in their story. They have to answer the lawyer’s questions, but whatever they say they hurt themselves. The key to this move is to strike quickly: Deny the victim the time to think of an escape. As they wriggle between the horns of the dilemma, they dig their own grave.
Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies
People rarely believe that their problems arise from their own misdeeds and stupidity. Someone or something out there is to blame— the other, the world, the gods— and so salvation comes from the outside as well.
Law 33: Discover each man’s thumbscrew
Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.
Finding the thumbscrews
Pay attention to gestures and unconscious signalsFind the helpless child, look to their childhoodLook for contrasts, an overt trait often reveals its oppositeFind the weak link,Fill their emotional voidFeed on their uncontrollable emotion
Always look for passions and obsessions that cannot be controlled. What people cannot control, you can control for them.
Law 34: Be royal in your own fashion. Act like a king to be treated like one
Law 35: Master the art of timing
Law 36: Disdain things you cannot have, ignoring them is the best revenge
Remember: You choose to let things bother you. You can just as easily choose not to notice the irritating offender, to consider the matter trivial and unworthy of your interest. That is the powerful move.
Desire often creates paradoxical effects: The more you want something, the more you chase after it, the more it eludes you. The more interest you show, the more you repel the object of your desire. This is because your interest is too strong— it makes people awkward, even fearful. Uncontrollable desire makes you seem weak, unworthy, pathetic.
Law 37: Create compelling spectacles
Law 38: Think as you like but behave like others
If Machiavelli had had a prince for disciple, the first thing he would have recommended him to do would have been to write a book against Machiavellism.
Law 39: Stir up waters to catch fish
Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.
Law 40: Despise the free lunch
The worth of money is not in its possession, but in its use.
Law 41: Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes
Law 42: Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter
Within any group, trouble can most often be traced to a single source, the unhappy, chronically dissatisfied one who will always stir up dissension and infect the group with his or her ill ease. Before you know what hit you the dissatisfaction spreads. Act before it becomes impossible to disentangle
Once you recognize who the stirrer is, pointing it out to other people will accomplish a great deal.
43: Work on the hearts and minds of others
Remember: The key to persuasion is softening people up and breaking them down, gently. Seduce them with a two-pronged approach: Work on their emotions and play on their intellectual weaknesses.
44: Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect
When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.
45: Preach the need to change, but never reform too much at once
If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.
Even while people understand the need for change, knowing how important it is for institutions and individuals to be occasionally renewed, they are also irritated and upset by changes that affect them personally.
46: Never appear too perfect
Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.
Do not try to help or do favors for those who envy you; they will think you are condescending to them.
47: Do not go past the mark you aimed for. In victory, know when to stop
48: Assume formlessness
By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.
The 49th Law of Power is “You do not talk about the Laws of Power“. There is a reason why Robert Greene decided to leave it out. Don’t go running your mouth about the cool manipulative techniques found in the book. You will only draw resentment upon you.
The 50th Law of Power is -You must go the opposite direction and move before you think you are ready. It is as if you are making it a little more difficult for yourself, deliberately creating obstacles in your path. But it is a law of power that your energy will always rise to the appropriate level.” Keys: Make the most of what you have.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”
My personal philosophy is a work in progress, but mostly it comes down to I believe that everybody deserves a better chance at life, and that life is better with skill.
With that in mind, I have a simple set of guiding principles:
- Life’s not a spectator’s sport.
- Absorb what’s useful; reject the rest.
- It’s not what’s on your plate, it’s how you eat it.
- Don’t take life too seriously, or you’ll never get out alive.
- Success is a journey, not a destination.
- Live more, laugh more, learn more, love more.
- Roll with the punches.
- Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
- If you fall down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, carry the lessons forward.
- Don’t seek to be better than others; seek to be better than yourself.
Everyone wants to get promoted. A promotion usually means you get a salary increase as well as additional benefits.
However, getting a promotion is not that easy and you need to put in a lot of work into it. In this article, see some of the things employers say doing will get you a promotion.
1. Tell your boss when they are wrong
Don’t be afraid to tell your boss when they are wrong or when you think that their idea won’t work.
This is not to say that you should argue with your boss all the time but you also shouldn’t be afraid to contradict them at times.
The trick here is in how you deliver the message. Just saying ‘you’re wrong’ won’t work. You need to come up with a professional way of saying it in order for them to listen. Have your facts straight and be ready to explain why you think their idea won’t work.
2. Be drama-free
If you are known to cause drama in the office, the chances of you getting a promotion are very low.
No employer wants to risk promoting someone who is always arguing with their colleagues, this means that even if you don’t like the person sitting next to you; it shouldn’t affect your work.
As a professional, you will have to work with people from different backgrounds with different personalities, so you need to learn how to deal with it in order to avoid workplace conflict.
You also need to cut down on the gossiping because most employers view this as a problem and are less willing to promote the office gossip.
3. Love your job
Your employer would like to believe that you like your job this is because when you like what you do you are more likely to do it well.
This means that even though you don’t necessarily love your job, your boss or colleagues don’t have to know. If your boss sees that you actually enjoy what you do, then they will be more likely to offer you a promotion.
However, if they feel like you don’t enjoy your job and would quit if something better came along, you most likely won’t get a promotion.
4. Never skip office functions
If you work for a big organization, it is likely that you never have enough time to actually speak to your boss. However, office events give you this opportunity.
Take this chance to actually socialize with your colleagues and supervisors this will ensure that they actually know of you.
Take for example; when a promotion comes up, who do you think is more likely to get it, the person who the bosses know by name or someone they can barely recognize?
5. Don’t expect to be rewarded
Promotions are not just given; they have to be earned. Your boss will not give you a promotion just because you have been working there the longest; you need to prove that you actually deserve it.
You need to let your work speak for you, what have you managed to achieve, how have you benefited the company?
If you are worried that your boss is not seeing your work, then you can always set up a meeting with them to talk about the work you have been doing as you ask for feedback.
6. Be solution oriented
A good employee won’t only bring up the problems but they will also offer solutions to these problems. Your boss will appreciate you more if you offered solutions to whatever problems come up.
If you brand yourself as a problem solver, you will greatly increase your chances of getting a promotion because your boss will be looking to keep you around as well as put you in a role where you will be able to help the company more.
Promotions won’t just land in your lap; it is something that you must actively work towards getting. So if you want to achieve career growth, you need to start doing the things listed above.
My love for commencement speeches brought me to this insightful speech by a highly decorated Navy Admiral. I jotted down the nuggets that spoke to me and I hope they will have the same effect to you as well.
1. Make your bed in the morning when you wake up to perfection.
You will accomplish the first task of the day
It will give you a small sense of pride
It will encourage you to do another task and another and another
By the end of the day that one task completed will turn to many tasks completed
Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.
If you can’t do the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right
And if by chance you have a miserable day you will come home to a bed that is made – and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better
So if you want to change the world, start of by making your bed.
2. You can’t change the world alone, you will need some help. And to truly gain from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the goodwill of strangers and a strong leader for guidance.
Nothing matters but your will to succeed. If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not by their race, religion, size, education or social status.
3. Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up not succeeding.
Life for you will never be perfect, buy you have to get over it and move forward.
Trouble builds inners strength and physical resilience, life is filled with troubles, you will fail, you will likely fail often, it will be painful, it will be discouraging at times.
It will test you to your very core, but if you want to change the world, don’t be afraid of the troubles.
4. If you change the world, sometimes you have to slide down the obstacles head first.
If obstacles come your way, stand your ground, do not walk away, do not act afraid, summon up all your strength and overcome the obstacles and they will vanish.
There are a lot of obstacles in the world, if you hope to succeed, you will have to face them, so if you want to change the world, don’t back down or give in.
5. To be successful in your objectives, it’s important to know that at the darkest moment in life, it is the time you need to be calm & composed.
This is when all your tactical skills, physical power and your inner strength must be brought to bare.
If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moments.
If I have learnt anything during my time traveling the world it is the power of hope, the power of one person, Mandela, MLK , Malala, Wangari Maathai……………………
One person can change the world by giving people hope, so if you want to change the world, start singing when you are deep in trouble.
I wish nothing you nothing less of a dramatically positive life changing 2019!