Category Archives: Business

6 Ways to Exlore Yourself and the World in New Ways

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Elliot

Adding new experiences to your life is the best way to stay fully engaged, energized, and enthusiastic.

Otherwise you burn out from boredom.

Your routines and monotony will eat your soul.

When you shake things up, you active your brain, and you reengage with your life.  And that’s how you live.

Seek Novelty and Challenge to Be Happier in Life

Science says our brains seek change.  Novelty and challenge are the keys to help you break out of routines and ruts, and to create a sense of energy and enthusiasm.

“After peering into thousands of people’s brains with advanced imaging machines such as the MRI, neuroscientists have concluded that the brain is hardwired to seek and enjoy novelty and challenge

Remember those two ingredients:  novelty and challenge.

You can have all the right fixing for an incredible life–love, respect, abundance, and so on–but without those two ingredients your recipe ends up as a bland soup of sadness and disengagement.”

An engaged brain is a happy one.  When you try new things, you give your brain a chance to come alive and get back in the game.

Your brain loves “let’s figure this out” mode when you give it a chance.

Your brain becomes much more activated when something novel or challenging occurs.  Novel things make your mind snap to attention and become sharp, releasing dopamine and energizing your brain to go into ‘let’s figure this out’ mode.  It’s what motivates us to learn.  If that novelty also challenges us then our brains stay engaged for even longer.  And an engaged brain is a happy brain.

1.  The Ninety-Day Getaway

Take a trip, once every three months (once a quarter in corporate warrior terms).

Every ninety days, plan a getaway either by yourself or with our spouse or significant other.  Yes, every ninety days.  This doesn’t have to be a trip around the world–the goal isn’t how far you travel; it’s how far you get away, the difference being measured not in the miles you travel, but in how far mentally you break the monotony of routine in order to relax and rejuvenate.

2.  The Restaurant or Dining Tour

Date night is a great night to try some new places to eat.  If you don’t have a date night, maybe that’s your starting point.

Make your date nights an excursion to a new restaurant once a week.  If you’re in a small town, get a group of friends to host dinner every few weeks.  The goal is to get about town and experience new dining experiences.

3.  Shows, Sporting Events, Experiences

There is always something going on.  And something amazing might be happening right in your own backyard.

I am constantly surprised when I find out who’s in town, or what shows are playing, or what fun things there are to do, either in the local neighborhood or a hop-skip-and a jump away.

It’s a reminder that I really need to map out and pay attention to local area events.

What’s happening in your city this weekend?  Are there shows or performances you can go see?  Any new exhibits or exhibitions?  Despite the fact that many of us love going to the movies, sporting events, or the theater, most of us rarely do.  Make it a habit to be on the lookout for things you can go see and cheer for.

4.  Travel Adventures

Traveling is a great way to explore new places and try new things.  The most interesting thing to me is how some places don’t feel like any other places on the planet.

Do you have a list of the top-fifty destinations you want to go in your life?  Are you actively checking them off the list, at least once per year?  If not, get to it.  Traveling is one of the surest ways to introduce novelty, engagement, and excitement in your life.

5.  Expanding Your Peer Circle

Long ago a friend of mine gave me a new metaphor for people.  He said that I had looked at the people in my life in a static way.  More like a lake.  He said I needed to take a river view, and keep in mind that people are constantly flowing into and out of our lives.

A little habit I adopted at work is to challenge myself to regularly meet new people and expand my worlds.  And I find new people bring new energy, and I feed off that.

It’s funny how ‘making friends’ is so important to us when we’re young, but we lay off our efforts the older we get.  But your friendship and peer circles are the most important external influences in determining your happiness (outside of your intimate relationship).  Get serious about expanding your peer circle by going to networking events, fund-raisers, and local events and performances.  Be on the lookout not just for networking purposes, but for friendship-making purposes.

6.  Skill Development

Adding new skills is a great way to keep your brain alive and open the doors to new possibilities.

What ten skills should you develop this year?  How actively are you currently chasing and working toward mastery of something like writing, speaking, singing, cooking, programming, leading, playing soccer, or some other artistic, athletic, or professional skill?

The challenge of seeking new skills is one of the surest ways to test and transcend your own boundaries.  Go find something new to learn, and fall on your face trying to learn it.  Enjoy the process of learning–it’s one of the easiest paths to a more engaged brain (and life).

The quality of your life is really the quality of your experiences.

If you want to raise the bar and feel fully alive, then challenge yourself to find new ways to try new things and to add new experiences to your life.

Otherwise, you may slowly lose your spark that makes everything else worth it.

Keep your spark.

time

Live Life To The Fullest!!!

Time waits for no one

Time stops for no one

Your excuses will not slow down time

Your indecision’s will not delay time

Your complaining will not stall time

Your regrets will not turn back time

So, don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries and hate

Because time will not turn back and cry along with you

It’s time to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future

Your only time is NOW

So, make sure you spend your time with the right purpose

With the right deeds

With the right emotions

With the right thoughts

And with the right people

Time flies! That’s a fact

But you can always spread your wings and soar with time

And navigate life the best that you can!

Remember, you will never pass this way again

Make it count

Time. Do what it does… keep moving!

lessons people learn too late in life

Live in the NOW

  1. Everything is temporary
  2. Life is not fair
  3. Family matters more than friends
  4. Others treat you the way you treat yourself
  5. Happiness is a choice and requires hard work
  6. Beneath anger is always fear
  7. Things don’t matter that much
  8. A lifetime isn’t very long
  9. You played it too safe
  10. Time waits for no man – make each moment count

50 life changing chess nuggets

THE GAME OF CHESS

After reading “Little Book of Chess Tips” by Peter French i sought my own interpretation of the same and how the rules can apply in our day to day lives. Enjoy………………………….

Things may not be as they seem!

  1. Pay close attention to every move your opponent makes – figure out the reason behind the step in life.
  2. When you see a good move, wait – look for a better one! – try to find the best move you can in every single position.
  3. Always have a plan in mind – what are you trying to achieve in a few years time.
  4. Remember value according to the type of position – strike where it hurts the most by optimising chances.
  5. Avoid repeating mistakes – analyse your games to understand better your opponent’s plans.
  6. Time is a vital element in chess – establish yourself in the strongest possible way using as few moves as possible.
  7. Control of the centre – everything flows from the heart, guard it with all your might.
  8. Never compromise or neglect your king – stick to what is most important and never derail.
  9. Know when to swap – difference between hoarding and spending relies on both timing and wisdom
  10. Weaken your opponents pawn formation – don’t miss an opportunity of tackling your problems and shuttering it’s structure.
  11. Consider the endgame – envision the end from the beginning.
  12. Concentrate all the time – remain frosty till victory is established at the very end of the game.
  13. If you are losing in the endgame, set stalemate traps – restrict your opponent as much as possible so as to increase chances of your victory.
  14. Be much more alert to your own attacking possibilities – be readier to defend against future threats or even to remove them completely.
  15. Relieve the pin/tie as soon as possible – be aware of any issues that may be tying you down as they narrow down your options to succeed.
  16. Moving to discover a threat from another piece – ensure you consider every potential move your opponent can make.
  17. All games are eventually decided by tactics – the most advantageous weapon that you can carry into a fight is tact.
  18. Always be on the lookout – search for indicators/red flags that may reduce your chances of winning or increase your opponents chances of losing.
  19. Reasons for making a sacrifice – be mindful in order to maximise your gains and limit your opponents options.
  20. Defend with the weakest available piece – wherever possible, use pawns to defend as much as possible.
  21. The knight is the weakest defensive piece – your game is as strong as your weakest link.
  22. Exploit overloaded pieces – read into your opponents game and take advantage of any mishaps.
  23. Don’t spend all your practice time learning opening theory – in any case, a thorough grasp of strategy and tactics is a far greater asset in the opening than mere book knowledge.
  24. When you are not sure of the best plan – improve the position of your worst placed piece.
  25. Balance pawn moves – thereby creating your opponents weakness that will be exploited later in the game.
  26. If your king is under attack – sometimes the best defence is to retreat and evaluate yourself, plan, strategize and come back with a better tactic.
  27. Never begin with insufficient material – the intensity of an attack should correlate with the resources available to execute the same.
  28. If your king is castled behind unmoved pawns – don’t put all your eggs in one basket in regards to defence.
  29. Look for the Greek gift sacrifice – sometimes death of a team member is necessary for the sake of the team’s survival.
  30. Look for opportunities – at times it may need you to make a calculated sacrificial tactical move that can win immediately.
  31. Never attack unless and until – only commence aggression when you have a tangible positional advantage.
  32. Do not attack on the flank unless – the centre should be strong, impenetrable and infallible.
  33. Spend time studying endgames – understanding the endgame makes the player more likely to win when the opportunity presents itself.
  34. Do not underestimate the king in the end game – do not hesitate to use your best resources at your disposal at the time when they can be fully optimised.
  35. The knight should stay as close to the king as possible – keep your priorities in life straight.
  36. Aim to exchange so that when the endgame is reached it is your opponent not you, who has the pawn – foresight is key.
  37. If you are defending the king against the king and pawn – strategy and tact is vital to draw the end game.
  38. When defending with a rook against pawns – sometimes you have to lose some to get some.
  39. To build batteries on files or diagonals – working together will yield a stronger result than the sum of its parts.
  40. Consider playing a system – the more things change, they more they stay the same.
  41. If winning beware of exchange into an opposite coloured bishop endgame – stay on your toes until the last victory whistle.
  42. Consider playing your opponent, not the board – assess as far as you can what type of problem you have and seek to frustrate it by all means necessary.
  43. Never neglect your control of the clock – it is essential to invest you time wisely, and conserve it for when you really need it.
  44. Don’t give checks for the sake of it – every resource should be used frugally in a nifty fashion.
  45. Do chess puzzles – always look for ways to expound your critical thinking ability.
  46. Use a good chess computer program – constantly seek to challenge yourself in order to grow.
  47. Do not fall into the habit – seek virtues rather than vices in all your deeds.
  48. Do not forget to look for traps – nothing is for free, always question and be suspicious.
  49. Play your best game all the time – let your lifestyle reflect your *A* game in all your endeavours.
  50. Remember that chess is a game – be generous to your opponent when you win, and never, ever be a bad loser. Play to win, play aggressively by all means, but treat your opponent with respect!

My favourite take away from this book is “The winner of the game is the player who makes the next – to – last mistake”

Do not be afraid to take risks even though they make your stomach churn – they may just be worth it!

Credit goes to the author of the ‘Little Book of Chess Tips’ by Peter French

The journey is short

An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young lady climbed up and sat down beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.

When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags?

The elderly woman replied with a Smile: “There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as our journey together is so short, because I am going to get off at the next stop.”

This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: “There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short.”

Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short. That darkening it with useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

Did someone break your heart? Stay calm. The trip is too short.

Did someone betray, intimidate, cheat or humiliate you? Relax. Don’t stress. The trip is too short.

Did someone insult you without reason? Shake it off. Ignore it. The trip is too short.

Did a neighbor make a comment that you didn’t like? Take a deep breath. Ignore him/her. Forgive and forget it. The trip is too short.

Whatever problem someone has brought us, remember that our journey together is too short.

No one knows the length of our trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is short.

Let us appreciate friends and family.
Let us be respectful, kind and forgiving.
In return, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. After all, our trip together is very short.

when i think…..

“When I think about the depth of the grave and the kilos of sand that are going to be thrown at us when we die, there is no need to harm my brother;

When I think of the darkness that pervades the tomb after it has closed, there is no need to hurt my sister;

When I think of the heat driven back by the ground and the amount of water that will drown me during the rains in this grave, I cannot make my neighbor suffer;

When I think that I will be alone abandoned by all, I prefer to enjoy communion when I am alive;
When I think my relationships are cut off by my past, I want to perfect my future.

If I could be reborn and start all over again, I would no longer make mistakes in my actions.
After a long meditation, I understood that all is vanity on earth.

May God help us to cultivate humility and love for our neighbors because vanity only gives vanity, everything will be vanity.
Be happy and make someone happy. “

What 25 Movies Teach Us About Love

Love comes in all shapes and sizes and to each his own.  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I put together a sampling of 25 movies and what they can teach us about life and love.  Even if you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day, enjoy the quotes and perhaps see things in a new light.  Sometimes just the right words, are like an old song, sung new.

Here they are:

  1. As Good as it Gets – Love can bring out your best.  Melvin: “You make me want to be a better man.”
  2. Be My Valentine Charlie Brown – Just because you don’t get a Valentine, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable.
  3. Casablanca.  Kiss like you mean it.  Ilsa: “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
    It’s the kind of thing you want to hold on to forever.”
  4. Casper: Don’t let go.  Casper: “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?”
  5. Cinderella.  It’s what dreams are made of.  Cinderella: “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”
  6. Dan in Real Life.  Love is an ability.  Marty: “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.”
  7. Don Juan DeMarco.  The answer is love.  Don Juan: “There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”
  8. Ghost.  Sometimes you need to hear it.  Sam: “Ditto.”
  9. It’s a Wonderful Life.  We’ll do anything to impress the one we love.  George: “What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”
  10. Memoirs of a Geisha. Love is a bond.  Nobu: “We are tied to each other. I know you feel it too.”
  11. My Girl – Butterflies and fuzzy feelings are what first kisses are about.  Loss hurts.
  12. P.S. I Love You – Cherish the time you have together.  It’s part of the journey.  Gerry: “If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you”
  13. Romeo and Juliet – Puppy love makes you say the darnedest things.  Romeo: “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”
  14. Runnaway Bride – Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride.  But it’s worth it.  Maggie: “I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.”
  15. Shrek – Love comes in all shapes and sizes.  Stay true to you.
  16. Sleepless in Seattle.  Sometimes, it’s like a snowflake just for you.  Sam: “Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”
  17. The Bridges of Madison County.  You know it when you feel it. Robert Kinkaid: “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”
  18. The Crow.  Remember them.  Sarah: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”
  19. The Notebook – If you’ve ever really loved, you know what it’s like to really live.  Noah: “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”
  20. The Princess Bride – Nothing beats true love.  Miracle Max says, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”
  21. The Way We Were – Remember how it felt when it wasn’t complicated.  Hold on to that.  Katie: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.”
  22. The Wizard of Oz.  Love isn’t meant to be practical.  Wizard of Oz: “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
  23. Titanic. Endings can be bitter sweet.  Jack: “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”
  24. Wedding Crashers – Love more.  You’ve got more capacity than you might think you do.  John: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”
  25. When Harry Met Sally.  Sometimes love is like a new lease on life.  Harry: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

What movies wrinkled your brain when it comes to love?

My wish for the new year

That you have someone to love,

have meaningful work to do,

and have things greater than yourself to believe in;

that you have a reason to smile every day and a shoulder to cry on when you need it;

That you keep your integrity even when the choices are hard;

THAT YOU LOVE DEEPLY,

give freely, forgive willingly,

laugh easily, and live well enough

to be grateful for every day.

The ant’s rule book of life

Be Brave

Ants teach you that no matter how terrifying things may look up ahead, you should never chicken out. They are a lot braver than your action movie heroes

Prepare Ahead

Ants are constantly preparing for the season which is yet to come. It has a start contrast to human behaviour. Your priorities can sometimes be driven by what you feel like doing.

Mind Your Own Business

We often like to talk about others, our friends, society and how bad the world is. We have lot of time to talk about others and poke into others business. Ants on the other hand mind their business.

Teamwork Helps

Everything an ant does is for the benefit of the colony and they will work until they are done. Almost on autopilot, each ant knows their duties and they do everything they can do to get their duties completed.

Adapt To Surroundings

You can find ants just about everywhere. Ants know where to find resources and you should do the same. Be quick to adapt to your surrounding and don’t wait for a wake-up call.

Hard Work Matters

Ants are noted for carrying objects that are bigger than them. This is only make possible through sheer hard work and determination. They are not scared of heavy tasks.

Sense Of Discipline

Without a mistake they march after one another in a line. Without dispute or accident, they move about in order. But everywhere in life man finds loopholes to divide.

Spirit Of Sharing

The ants share everything they get. They never eat anything alone. But what do we humans do? If we find something immediately, we try our best to hoard it in a secret place.

Ignore Diversions

If you put your finger in an ants path, it just walks around it and soldiers on. It won’t let your fingers hinder it’s work. You should do the same and not let silly problems get in your way.

It’s Not About Doing Things Perfectly

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Try Stuff, Even If It’s Not Perfect

It reminds me to keep things real and not get caught up in perfection, or the ideal that does not exist.

That’s the essence and foundation for personal growth.

It reminds me just to try…to give my best effort… to get in the arena and go for it… even if it’s not pretty and it’s not perfect.

And  it’s that fundamental mindset that sets the stage to be able to practice the things that lead to doing great things, even if it’s not pretty, and it’s not perfect.

It’s not about perfection.

It’s about progress… and progress is actually one of the secrets to happiness.

When we grow, we light up our life, even if it’s in some small way.

10 Reminders About Not Doing Things Perfectly

Too many people die with their music still in them, or they never realize their potential, because they get caught up in perfection.

Here are a few of my other favorite reminders about not worrying about doing things perfectly:

  1. A friend of mine was good about reminding me: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”  That was his way of saying to me, focus on “good enough for now” so we could move on the next challenge, and not get stuck in analysis paralysis or the perfection trap.
  2. Similarly, Voltaire put it, ““The best is the enemy of the good.”  Voltaire always has a way with words.
  3. I always liked the phrase: “Make it work, then make it right.”   (balanced with the idea that if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over 😉  … another way to think of this is, don’t get caught up in pre-mature perfection.
  4. Perfection is a journey, not a destination.  Enjoy the journey of learning and mastery.   This is the essence of continuous improvement.   Thinking back, this is really the big idea that helped me avoid a life of worrying about perfection, and instead, focus on progress.
  5. Focus on progress over perfection.  I always liked the idea that to get better at something, you have to do it more than once.  It takes practice.  You can’t practice very much if you are caught up in perfection.  When I think about it like that, it reminds me of Simon Sinek’s phrasing, “Better is better than best.”
  6. One of my best mentors was good at asking, “Is it effective?”   That was a much better focus, than worrying about some arbitrary notion or measure of perfection.  It was a simple reminder that if it wasn’t working, change your approach.   It’s far better to focus on effectiveness, improvement, or progress.   That’s where the growth is.
  7. As Confucius put it, “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”  Talk about trading up.
  8. As Shakespeare put it, “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”  I’ve seen so many good things, come to an end, either for the sake of perfection, or over-doing something that was better in it’s rough and useful form.  I’ve seen some great art, great ideas, and great projects die that way.  Sometimes you just need to leave well enough alone.
  9. As my mechanic always said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”   He was incredibly pragmatic about where to invest time and energy, and not to throw good money after bad.
  10. As Leo Tolstoy put it, “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”   It’s one thing to have great expectations, but don’t let your expectations drain the juice out of your life. 

Perfectionism Is Fundamentally Flawed

Here’s what Wikipedia says about perfectionism:

“Perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”

Yuck.

Don’t Fear Perfection

The good news is you don’t ever have to fear perfection.

As Salvador Dali reminds us with his inspiring words:

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”

How perfect is that?

Your network is your net worth!

There is something in life called “Social Capital”. The people you know; the people who know you and how they know you. What’s social capital? Listen to this,

Quite unfortunately, people think or behave like social capital is only needed on weddings and burials. That is why you see someone will not have contacted you in ten years but out of the blue they are sending you a message, “Hello so and so, long time, next Sunday is my pre-wedding. Or my uncle is dead please I need your support!”

Social capital is not built overnight; it is reciprocal and does not need money (especially in this virtually connected world) to build. It just needs being sensitive that people have emotions and that you can’t sneak into their lives only when you need help.

Social capital is massively important and when built and used correctly, it can make a very big difference to one’s quality of life. It can save you money, make you money, get you a better job, make things easier and safer, it can save you from prison, or save your life: it can save your time and effort, and make life more enjoyable and productive.

As we progress through the year, please learn to connect with people in your circles and not only Christ. Check on people, send someone a birthday message, check their timelines and comment something positive and inspirational. Pick your phone and call someone, or text them. It could be your relative, your colleague, your former schoolmate, a former or current boss, your CEO, your parents etc.

Creating a connection with people is important for building your social capital. And even if they don’t respond, at least keep in touch and don’t just reach out when you are in need. Even some on whatsapp don’t comment on any issue you put across they just read and keep quiet but that should not deter you. Continue communicating.

Most importantly, respect everyone no matter their status in life and be there when others need you. Be a solution, an encouragement and inspiration. Avoid being a leech, a user or nagger. Just be a nice person who in a calculated way stays in touch with people and brings joy, encouragement and hope.

The most important asset you have in life is not your job, money or title; its people. Your network is your net worth”

African folklore

Long time ago in the Animal Kingdom, a sheep was passing and saw a lion crying inside a cage trap and the Lion begged the Sheep to save him with a promise not to kill and eat it but the Sheep refused*.

After much persuasion and due the Sheep’s gullibility it opened the cage for the Lion.
Now the Lion was very hungry having stayed in the cage for days without food.
It quickly grabbed the Sheep to kill and eat but the Sheep reminded him of his promise.
They were still there arguing when other animals came passing and they sought to know what happened.

*Both the Lion and the Sheep narrated their own side of the story but because of fear and in trying to gain favour with the Lion, all the animals took sides with the Lion except the Tortoise who claimed not to understand the whole scenario*.

Now the Tortoise asked the Lion to show them where he was before the Sheep rescued him, he pointed at the cage.
He asked again, “were you inside or outside when the sheep arrived”? The Lion said he was inside.
The Tortoise again said “ok, enter lets see how difficult it could be inside”.
The Lion entered and the Tortoise locked him back inside.

*In amazement the other animals asked Tortoise “why” and he replied “if we allow him eat the Sheep today, he will still go hungry tomorrow and we don’t know the next amongst us to be eaten tomorrow*.

*Moral*:

Don’t support evil today because it doesn’t affect you directly, tomorrow it could be your turn.

Be reasonable
Stay safe.

MATURITY IS THE ABILITY TO DELAY GRATIFICATION

 

My mother graduated in 1965 &
got a teaching job at a Government
College

The teachers were given car loans
& she bought a brand new Opel
Kadett.

They were to pay back the loan
over 4 years.

However, one of the teachers took
half of the money the others took
as loan…
Bought a fairly used car & got a driver.

So, when other teachers would drive to
school & park their brand new cars, his
driver would drop him off in the
morning & come and pick him at knocking off time.

My mum said they laughed at him,
calling him “Acting Big Man” because
he got a driver…
But he’d just smile.
One day, one of the teachers had cause
to go out of the school during school
hours. He returned to report that he
saw his colleague’s driver using his car
as *taxi*

When they “reported” his driver to
him, he said he was aware that was
why he hired a driver…

Why park a car for 6-8 hours, when it
can be making money for you?
The other teachers were stunned:
suddenly, he didn’t look as stupid as
they thought!
Now, because of the extra income from
using his car as a taxi, he was able to
pay back the loan in a year…

By the 2nd year, he bought a 2nd car to
add to his taxi fleet.
By the 3rd year, he bought 2 more
taxis!

By the 4th year when my mum & others
finished paying their loans, this guy had 6 taxis.

Then he bought a brand new Opel
Kadett, the newer model!
Other cars were 4 years old…
My mum said, that was the moment
they realised who was smart & who was
foolish among them all.

This happened 1965-1970.
I was born 1968, in the midst of all this.

I was told that story in 1979 when I
entered secondary school

It has remained in my brains since then…

Today, I see too many young folks more
interested in *spending* their money instead of *investing* it they
don’t have to buy the things they don’t
need to impress people who don’t like
them.

Too many people living fake lives in
these days of social media.

The fake generation buy fake hair, fake nails , list is long – fake almost everything.

I’ve seen people pose by cars they don’t
own to take pictures & post on social
media.
Young people don’t seem to understand
discretion: the competition to out do
each other in the “I’ve arrived” ranking
is just too much.
My niece, an undergraduate asked me
to buy her a phone…
I asked what type does she want: she
mentioned a type, I checked the price:
$200 US

Now, I use an Infinix Hot 5 worth maybe $50US or less
thereabout, it was even a gift by one
of my site contractors.
But this 20 year old girl wants to use a
$200 US phone!
Something is definitely wrong
somewhere…!

Seriously, we can’t continue like this.

My generation is halfway out.
I am sorry for the younger generation,
those aged 16-30. I honestly don’t know
what this world would be like when
they are in their 50s & 60s.
May God’s mercy prevail upon them,
may He give them sense.
Amen.

Let me add:
Mike Murdock says,
“A foolish man will enjoy a perfect
today & lose a perfect tomorrow.
A wise man will forfeit a perfect today
to gain a perfect tomorrow.”

Every young person needs to
understand this!

Manhood Is Not Natural

Manhood is not natural, but it is essential. No society can endure if it does not harness male sexual energy and teach men to take care of the children they father and the women who bear them.

Few would disagree that manhood is in crisis today. Men are falling behind women in important measures of personal and social well-being. In deeply consequential ways, they have become the weaker sex.

Some women celebrate this. Most, however, are deeply concerned, especially since the weakness of the men in their lives makes it increasingly difficult for them to become wives and mothers. The equation is really quite simple: if boys don’t become good, dependable men, they can’t become good, dependable husbands and fathers.

The majority of women want marriage and babies, and usually quite dearly. They don’t need to be talked into them and never really have. Ask women today their biggest obstacle to achieving this goal. It’s not a shortage of males, but of responsible adult males. Men. If they cannot find marriageable men, they often go with other choices. It’s no coincidence that the two fastest growing family formation trends are unmarried cohabitation and out-of-wedlock childbearing among twenty- and thirty-something women.

The causes of these trends can be found in the underappreciated and often-denied distinct natures of manhood and womanhood. It’s rooted in a strange but essential anthropological truth: Womanhood is natural. Manhood is not.

Womanhood Is Natural

Womanhood is a natural phenomenon. A female’s biological make-up usually ensures that she will grow into a healthy woman. Leave her to herself, and it’s likely to happen. It’s why the phrases “woman up,” “be a woman,” or “make a woman out of her” don’t exist.

As her body matures, internally and externally, it sends her and those around her an unmistakable message about what she is and what she’s becoming. It moves her inexorably in that direction with a force as great as it is mysterious. Few girls miss these cues. It’s not just her body that is changing; she is becoming a different person. Her family and community treat her differently because of it. A father shudders at it, as it forever changes the way he interacts with “his little girl.” He must bow to and honor it. I’m the father of a girl. I know it all too well.

Women must be taught, with great political and ideological pressure, to ignore their womanhood and abandon their children, for doing so is contrary to all nature.

Manhood Is Taught

The opposite is true of manhood.  Unlike a woman, a man has no civilized role or agenda inscribed in his body. The boy has no on-board GPS directing him toward his future. His transition into manhood can only come into being with significant, intentional work by other men. As a behavior, manhood must be learned, proven, and earned. As an identity, manhood must be bestowed by a boy’s father and the community’s larger fraternity of men. His mother can only affirm it. She cannot bequeath it.

Maleness just happens, but manhood does not. The first is a biological event, while the second is a developed character quality. When manhood is not formed and cultivated, males fail to mature, resulting in the “perpetual adolescence” or “failure to launch” that plagues our culture. When so many men play beer pong into their forties, live in their parents’ basements, play videogames twelve hours a day, and encounter women only in the form of pixels on a porn site, it seems clear that we have a manhood problem.

The human male nature doesn’t naturally go in the direction civilization requires; it requires the direction of other men. Unlike the female nature, which tends to exist reliably among the median scale of human behavior, the male nature is oriented more toward extremes, for good or bad.

Manhood must be crafted and refined in order to orient males in pro-social, communitarian directions. In fact, this is the first work of every civilization. Anthropologists tell us that the original and most fundamental social problem of any culture is the unattached male. Left to his own, he is not inclined to play well with others. He is not disposed to make himself, or anyone around him, a better person. He is not likely to become other-focused. Either fiercely competitive or indolent, he is more likely to become a social contagion. He will either seek to define himself in the community by power, false confidence, and selfish conquest, or shrink away toward inactivity and reticence.

In every known human society, everywhere in the world, the young male learns that when he grows up, one of the things which he must do in order to be a full member of society is to provide food [and protection] for some female and her young. … every known human society rests firmly on the learned nurturing behaviour of men.

Thus, across virtually all cultures, manhood has largely consisted of three essential qualities: procreation, provision, and protection. If the boy doesn’t learn these things, then he is not likely to become a good, selfless, serving man. Shame and derision from the community will become his lot.

Tragically, manhood is becoming extinct because we are not teaching it.

Male vs. Female Sexuality

Additionally, the most elemental destabilizing force in every culture is not merely unrefined male energy, but his unchecked sexual energy. Full stop. In its fundamental essence, it is deeply anti-social. It has no civilizing, pro-social nature in itself. To become so, it must be acted upon by other forces. By contrast, female sexual energy tends to be inherently pro-social. Female sexuality has the power to create human civilization by moderating the behavior of men, but it can only do this when there is social appreciation for these differences in male and female sexuality, coupled with the strong social morals they require.

Of course, the flip side of unmoderated male energy goes beyond sexuality. A female’s naturally domesticating influence on overall male energy and behavior is easily demonstrated. Who pays substantially lower auto, health, and life insurance premiums, married men or their single peers? Service to the god of equality requires there be no difference here. But we all know better. The wedding-ring-clad man enjoys the financial benefit, and not because insurance companies have a sentimental heart for weddings. Every insurance company knows married men direct their male wanderlust and energy toward safety and responsibility. Single men, not so much.

Without the essential tempering influence of female sexuality, male sexuality is a whole other animal, and not a pretty one.

Sex Makes Babies

This is a problem, because sex makes babies. Every society must give greater attention to this fact than it does to the need for food, shelter, and protection from outside attack. These and all other vital needs are either enhanced or crippled by what a community expects of the relationship between a man, the children he sires, and the woman he does so with. If it doesn’t get this right, few other good things the community needs are likely.

Of course, the male’s attitude and approach toward his procreative act is drastically different from hers. His necessary participation in the act is solely orgasmic, lasting seconds, and is all pleasure. He is not naturally connected to the potential of that act. The mother’s connection, however, is profound, starting shortly after conception and intensifying daily. It costs her dearly in energy, sleep, and overall comfort, starting long before the pain of childbirth. She is inescapably invested. He is not.

The crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and biology to the long-term horizons of female sexuality . . . It is male behavior that must be changed to create a civilized order. The crucial process of civilization. No society can develop or endure without succeeding at this.

Manhood, Marriage, and Fatherhood

The woman is not only the stabilizing force of male sexuality; she is the authorizing factor in fatherhood. If a particular man desires to be involved in the life of his child, it is the child’s mother, and she alone, who determines whether and how he may do this. She typically desires to make this relationship public by making the father of the child her husband. Anthropologists have called this the legitimization of the child.

Consider the etymology of two key words: matrimony and husband. The first comes from the Latin, matrimonium, meaning literally “obligation to the mother.” Since it is virtually impossible for a mother and her child to thrive by themselves, marriage arose in nearly every civilization throughout time as a way to have the impregnating male take responsibility for his child and the mother. The surrounding community expects the male to fulfill his obligation so it doesn’t have to. It is why marriage is a deeply public act and no society has found a way to function without it.

Thus, the good man steps up, and in doing so, becomes a husband. This stems from the Old Norse, meaning literally house dweller: hús (“house”) bóndi (“dweller” and “bonded serf” or “slave”). The husband settles down and confines himself to a particular household, serving and providing resources for its inhabitants. He becomes a whole other kind of man, taking full responsible for his sexuality and his part in the coming generation.

What Happens When Manhood Isn’t Taught?

It is then certainly no coincidence that the term “feminization of poverty” was coined as the sexual revolution initiated the great divorce between sex, babies, and marriage.  While large opportunities were opening for women due to greater equality, Poverty is rapidly becoming a female problem. She blamed the significant increase in the number of female-headed families.

Ghettos are not created by city planners, crime by the police, or failing health by big pharma. Each of these social ills arises by inattention to the sexual behaviors of males. If he doesn’t have to marry before having sex (and potentially fathering children), the average man won’t. So he hasn’t. The feminization of poverty and the accompanying declines in female happiness and childhood well-being are the tragic results.

Manhood ideologies always include a criterion of selfless generosity, even to the point of sacrifice. Again and again, we find that “real” men are those who give more than they take away; they serve others. Real men are generous, even to a fault. Non-men are often those stigmatized as stingy and unproductive.

A good man is the fountain, not the drain. The formation of such men is the first task of human civilization, and its largest threat when ignored.

The question is, how can we recover manhood today? We must find the answer. For it is not only the fate of men that is at stake, but the fate of our women, children, and society as well.

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green

Law 1: Never outshine the master

Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power

When it comes to power, outshining the master is perhaps the worst mistake of all.

Never take your position for granted and never let any favors you receive go to your head.

Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies

But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them

Since honesty rarely strengthens friendship, you may never know how a friend truly feels. Friends will say that they love your poetry, adore your music, envy your taste in clothes— maybe they mean it, often they do not.

The key to power, then, is the ability to judge who is best able to further your interests in all situations. Keep friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent.

Law 3: Conceal Your Intentions

Use decoyed objects and desires and red herrings to throw people off the scent

Hide your intentions not by closing up (with the risk of appearing secretive, and making people suspicious) but by talking endlessly about your desires and goals— just not your real ones. You will kill three birds with one stone: You appear friendly, open, and trusting; you conceal your intentions; and you send your rivals on time-consuming wild-goose chases.

Use smoke screens to disguise your actions. This derives from a simple truth: people can only focus on one thing at a time. It is really too difficult for them to imagine that the bland and harmless person they are dealing with is simultaneously setting up something else

As Kierkegaard wrote, “The world wants to be deceived.”

Law 4: Always say less than necessary

One oft-told tale about Kissinger… involved a report that Winston Lord had worked on for days. After giving it to Kissinger, he got it back with the notation, “Is this the best you can do?” Lord rewrote and polished and finally resubmitted it; back it came with the same curt question. After redrafting it one more time— and once again getting the same question from Kissinger-Lord snapped, “Damn it, yes, it’s the best I can do. ” To which Kissinger replied: “Fine, then I guess I’ll read it this time. ”

Persons who cannot control his words shows that he cannot control himself, and is unworthy of respect. But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief. Power cannot accrue to those who squander their treasure of words.

Power is in many ways a game of appearances, and when you say less than necessary, you inevitably appear greater and more powerful than you are.

Learn the lesson: Once the words are out, you cannot take them back. Keep them under control. Be particularly careful with sarcasm: The momentary satisfaction you gain with your biting words will be outweighed by the price you pay.

Law 5: So much depends on reputation, guard it with your life

Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Doubt is a powerful weapon: Once you let it out of the bag with insidious rumors, your opponents are in a horrible dilemma.

Once you have a solid base of respect, ridiculing your opponent both puts him on the defensive and draws more attention to you, enhancing your own reputation.

Law 6: Court attention at all costs

Surround your name with the sensational and the scandalous.

Better to be slandered and attacked than ignored.

Every crowd has a silver lining.

At the start of your career, you must attach your name and reputation to a quality, an image, that sets you apart from other people.

Create an air of mystery.

Remember: Most people are upfront, can be read like an open book, take little care to control their words or image, and are hopelessly predictable. By simply holding back, keeping silent, occasionally uttering ambiguous phrases, deliberately appearing inconsistent, and acting odd in the subtlest of ways, you will emanate an aura of mystery. The people around you will then magnify that aura by constantly trying to interpret you

Do something that cannot be easily explained or interpreted

Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit

No notes.

Law 8: Make other people come to you, use bait if necessary

For negotiations or meetings, it is always wise to lure others into your territory, or the territory of your choice. You have your bearings, while they see nothing familiar and are subtly placed on the defensive.

Law 9: Win through your actions, never through argument

No notes.

Law 10: Infection: Avoid the unhappy or the unlucky

When you suspect you are in the presence of an infector, don’t argue, don’t try to help, don’t pass the person on to your friends, or you will become enmeshed. Flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences.

Law 11: Learn to keep people dependent on you

No notes.

Law 12: Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim

No notes.

Law 13: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self interest, never their mercy or gratitude

No notes.

Law 14: Pose as a friend, work as a spy

No notes.

Law 15: Crush your enemy totally

No notes.

Law 16: Use absence to increase strength and honor

The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

At the start of an affair, you need to heighten your presence in the eyes of the other. If you absent yourself too early, you may be forgotten. But once your lover’s emotions are engaged, and the feeling of love has crystallized, absence inflames and excites. Giving no reason for your absence excites even more.

Law 17: Keep others in suspended terror, cultivate an air of unpredictability

Too much unpredictability will be seen as a sign of indecisiveness, or even of some more serious psychic problem. Patterns are powerful, and you can terrify people by disrupting them. Such power should only be used judiciously.

Law 18: Do not build a fortress to protect yourself, isolation is dangerous

No notes.

Law 19: Know who you’re dealing with, do not offend the wrong person

No notes.

Law 20: Do not commit to anyone

Do not commit to anyone, but be courted by all.

When you hold yourself back, you incur not anger but a kind of respect. You instantly seem powerful because you make yourself ungraspable, rather than succumbing to the group, or to the relationship, as most people do.

People who rush to the support of others tend to gain little respect in the process, for their help is so easily obtained, while those who stand back find themselves besieged with supplicants.

Do not commit to anyone, stay above the fray.

Remember: You have only so much energy and so much time. Every moment wasted on the affairs of others subtracts from your strength.

Law 21: Play a sucker to catch a sucker, seem dumber than your mark

Given how important the idea of intelligence is to most people’s vanity, it is critical never inadvertently to insult or impugn a person’s brain power.

Law 22: Use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power

People trying to make a show of their authority are easily deceived by the surrender tactic.

It is always our first instinct to react, to meet aggression with some other kind of aggression. But the next time someone pushes you and you find yourself starting to react, try this: Do not resist or fight back, but yield, turn the other cheek, bend.

If you surrender instead, you have an opportunity to coil around your enemy and strike with your fangs from close up.

Law 23: Concentrate your forces

intensity defeats extensity every time.

Law 24: Play the perfect courtier

The laws of court politics:

Avoid ostentationPractice nonchalanceBe frugal with flatteryArrange to be noticedAlter your style and language according to the person ou are dealing withNever be the bearer of bad newsNever affect friendliness and intimacy with your masterNever criticize those above you directlyBe frugal in asking those above you for favorsNever joke about appearances of tastesDo not be the court cynicBe self observantMaster your emotionsFit the spirits of the timesBe the source of pleasure

Law 25: Re-Create Yourself

Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you.

The world wants to assign you a role in life. And once you accept that role you are doomed.

Remake yourself into a character of power. Working on yourself like clay should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks.

The first step in the process of self-creation is self-consciousness— being aware of yourself as an actor and taking control of your appearance and emotions.

The second step in the process of self-creation is a variation on the George Sand strategy: the creation of a memorable character, one that compels attention, that stands out above the other players on the stage.

Law 26: Keep your hands clean

Conceal your mistakes, have a scapegoat around to blame.

Make use of the cats paw.

Law 27: Play on people’s need to believe to create a cult like following

Five rules of cult making

Keep it vague, keep it simpleEmphasize the visual and sensational over the intellectualBorrow the forms of organized religion to structure the groupDisguise your source of incomeSet up an us vs them dynamic

Law 28: Enter action with boldness

The bolder lie the better.

Lions circle the hesitant prey.

Boldness strikes fear, fear creates authority.

Going halfway with half a heart digs a deeper grave.

Hesitation creates gaps, boldness obliterates them.

Audacity separates you from the herd.

When you are as small and obscure as David was, you must find a Goliath to attack. The larger the target, the more attention you gain.

Law 29: Plan all the way to the end

No notes.

Law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless

No notes.

Law 31: Control the options, get others to play with the cards you deal

You give people a sense of how things will fall apart without you, and you offer them a “choice”: I stay away and you suffer the consequences, or I return under circumstances that I dictate.

Color the choices, propose three or four choices of action for each situation, and would present them in such a way that the one he preferred always seemed the best solution compared to the others.

Force the resister, Push them to “choose” what you want them to do by appearing to advocate the opposite.

Alter the playing field.

The shrinking options: A variation on this technique is to raise the price every time the buyer hesitates and another day goes by. This is an excellent negotiating ploy to use on the chronically indecisive, who will fall for the idea that they are getting a better deal today than if they wait till tomorrow.

The weak man on the precipice: This tactic is similar to “Color the Choices,” but with the weak you have to be more aggressive. Work on their emotions— use fear and terror to propel them into action. Try reason and they will always find a way to procrastinate.

Brothers in Crime: You attract your victims to some criminal scheme, creating a bond of blood and guilt between you.

The horns of a dilemma: The lawyer leads the witnesses to decide between two possible explanations of an event, both of which poke a hole in their story. They have to answer the lawyer’s questions, but whatever they say they hurt themselves. The key to this move is to strike quickly: Deny the victim the time to think of an escape. As they wriggle between the horns of the dilemma, they dig their own grave.

Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies

People rarely believe that their problems arise from their own misdeeds and stupidity. Someone or something out there is to blame— the other, the world, the gods— and so salvation comes from the outside as well.

Law 33: Discover each man’s thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

Finding the thumbscrews

Pay attention to gestures and unconscious signalsFind the helpless child, look to their childhoodLook for contrasts, an overt trait often reveals its oppositeFind the weak link,Fill their emotional voidFeed on their uncontrollable emotion

Always look for passions and obsessions that cannot be controlled. What people cannot control, you can control for them.

Law 34: Be royal in your own fashion. Act like a king to be treated like one

No notes.

Law 35: Master the art of timing

No notes.

Law 36: Disdain things you cannot have, ignoring them is the best revenge

Remember: You choose to let things bother you. You can just as easily choose not to notice the irritating offender, to consider the matter trivial and unworthy of your interest. That is the powerful move.

Desire often creates paradoxical effects: The more you want something, the more you chase after it, the more it eludes you. The more interest you show, the more you repel the object of your desire. This is because your interest is too strong— it makes people awkward, even fearful. Uncontrollable desire makes you seem weak, unworthy, pathetic.

Law 37: Create compelling spectacles

No notes.

Law 38: Think as you like but behave like others

If Machiavelli had had a prince for disciple, the first thing he would have recommended him to do would have been to write a book against Machiavellism.

Law 39: Stir up waters to catch fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.

Law 40: Despise the free lunch

The worth of money is not in its possession, but in its use.

Law 41: Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes

No notes.

Law 42: Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter

Within any group, trouble can most often be traced to a single source, the unhappy, chronically dissatisfied one who will always stir up dissension and infect the group with his or her ill ease. Before you know what hit you the dissatisfaction spreads. Act before it becomes impossible to disentangle

Once you recognize who the stirrer is, pointing it out to other people will accomplish a great deal.

43: Work on the hearts and minds of others

Remember: The key to persuasion is softening people up and breaking them down, gently. Seduce them with a two-pronged approach: Work on their emotions and play on their intellectual weaknesses.

44: Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect

When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.

45: Preach the need to change, but never reform too much at once

If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Even while people understand the need for change, knowing how important it is for institutions and individuals to be occasionally renewed, they are also irritated and upset by changes that affect them personally.

46: Never appear too perfect

Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.

Do not try to help or do favors for those who envy you; they will think you are condescending to them.

47: Do not go past the mark you aimed for. In victory, know when to stop

No notes.

48: Assume formlessness

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.

The 49th Law of Power is “You do not talk about the Laws of Power“. There is a reason why Robert Greene decided to leave it out. Don’t go running your mouth about the cool manipulative techniques found in the book. You will only draw resentment upon you.

The 50th Law of Power is -You must go the opposite direction and move before you think you are ready. It is as if you are making it a little more difficult for yourself, deliberately creating obstacles in your path. But it is a law of power that your energy will always rise to the appropriate level.” Keys: Make the most of what you have.

Who Are You Walking With?

Its not important how we spend our time,

but with whom we spend it.

The only thing that’s keeping some people from a new level of their destiny is wrong friendships.

You may have to prune off some relationships that are not adding value to your life.

Don’t hang around people who are not going anywhere, who have no goals or dreams, who comprise and take the easy way out.

If you tolerate mediocrity, it will rub off on you.

If you hand out with jealous, critical, unhappy people, you will end up jealous, critical and unhappy.

You cannot become who God created you to be hanging out with them.

Take a look at your friends. If your friends are winners, leaders, givers and successful, if they have integrity and a spirit of excellence and are positive and motivated, those good qualities are going to rub off on you. Invest your time with them.  They’re making you better.

Food for Thought

 

One who loves till her eyes close, is a Mother.
One who loves without an expression in the eyes, is a Father.
____________________________
Mother – Introduces you to the world.
Father – Introduces the world to you.
___________________________
Mother : Gives you life
Father : Gives you living
__________________________
Mother : Makes sure you are not starving.
Father : Makes sure you know the value of starving
__________________________
Mother : Personifies Care
Father: Personifies Responsibility
__________________________
Mother : Protects you from a fall
Father : Teaches you to get up from a fall.
__________________________
Mother : Teaches you walking.
Father : Teaches you walk of life
__________________________
Mother : Teaches from her own experiences.
Father : Teaches you to learn from your own experiences.
__________________________
Mother : Reflects Ideology
Father : Reflects Reality
___________________________
Mother’s love is known to you since birth.
Father’s love is known when you become a Father or mother
_________________________
Dedicated to Parents!

25 habits that will help you thrive during season of the corona virus epidemic:

1. Set SMART goals.

Success requires dedicated work. Write your goals and map out the key steps they must take to get closer to their goals every day.

2. They manage their time.

Time is precious and valuable. Successful managers manage their time effectively by cutting out activities that do not align with their goals.

3. They invest in others.

Successful managers continually invest in others. Investing in others includes encouraging, coaching, mentoring, and sponsoring future leaders.

4. They communicate effectively.

Successful managers are good communicators. Effective communication requires attentive listening and asking questions. Good communicators also respond to questions when asked and they share information that will benefit others.

5. They focus on the big picture.

Successful managers engage in strategic planning and effective implementation. To do so, they broaden their perspective to understand how all the pieces of a plan, project or goal it together.

6. They invest in their professional and personal development.

The best managers understand the importance of investing in their professional and personal development. They read books, attend seminars, and / or seek advanced degrees. Continuing education enhances their credentials and allows them to stay on top of trends that will impact their areas of expertise.

7. They take risks.

Taking risks builds confidence and sharpens one’s ability to be decisive. Successful managers are willing to try new things and experiment with new ideas.

8. They have integrity.

Successful managers demonstrate consistency between their words and their actions. Their consistency inspires others to trust them and their ability to lead.

9. They are disciplined.

Self-discipline is an important leadership attribute. It requires engaging in consistent action even when you don’t feel like it. Self-discipline fuels a successful manager’s sense of determination and allows the manager to achieve goals.

10. They are strategic.

Strategic leadership requires thoughtful analysis, planning, and execution. Successful managers invest time to think through various scenarios and consider the consequences of potential actions.

11. They ask for feedback.

The founder of modern management, Peter Drucker, once wrote: “The only way to discover your strengths is through feedback analysis.” Successful managers continually seek feedback to improve their performance and enable continued success.

12. They seek advice.

Thriving managers seek advice to make effective decisions. Knowledgeable advice allows a leader to learn about blind spots. Receiving guidance enhances a manager’s leadership style by offering a different point of view.

13. They promote collaboration.

Successful management requires engaging others and inspiring them toward shared goals. Sharing information and inviting others to participate in collaboration builds trust within a team and a common sense of purpose.

14. They are visible.

Successful managers are visible and create visibility opportunities for their teams. Visibility facilitates connection points with others, spurs interaction, and provides a platform to showcase accomplishments.

15. They are respectful of others.

Trust and respect are fundamental to effective leadership. No one likes to be disrespected or denigrated. Successful managers are courteous and considerate of others. Genuine regard for others engenders loyalty and fosters mutual respect.

16. They promote their team’s accomplishments.

Everyone wants to be part of a winning team. Giving others credit and acknowledging their accomplishments are two ways that successful managers create high achieving teams. Promoting their team’s accomplishments encourages momentum for further achievement.

17. They build a network.

Good working relationships are important for career and personal advancement. Successful managers work at strategically building networks that support their personal and professional goals. They create regular opportunities to establish genuine connections with people in and out of their professional community.

18. They position themselves for the future.

In an ever-changing workplace that is increasingly being impacted by technology and global markets, positioning oneself for the future is critical for career and team success. Successful managers stay on top of industry trends by reading periodicals, attending conferences, and networking. They also seek opportunities to share what they learn with team members and incorporate new methods into their work processes.

19. They navigate office politics.

Successful managers embrace office politics. They understand that office politics is a fact of life. But, they also understand that navigating office politics does not require that they violate their personal values. Rather, they respect their organization’s culture, strategically build their network, and interact sincerely to influence others effectively.

20. They manage conflict.

Workplace conflict is inevitable. Rather than avoid conflict, successful managers seek to address difficult situations professionally and respectfully. They engage in difficult conversations, seek common ground, and preserve relationships.

21. They admit mistakes.

Making mistakes is part of life. Effective leadership calls for transparency and accountability. Successful managers, therefore, admit their mistakes, learn from them, and do better next time.

22. They are humble.

The best managers are humble. Many associate humility with weakness. But, in fact, humility is the ability to accurately assess one’s own strengths and limitations. It takes sober judgment and confidence to self-assess. Genuine humility is an attractive quality and inspires an environment of honesty and trust.

23. They strive for work-life balance.

Maintaining a high-performance work culture requires work-life balance. The best managers work to ensure that their teams stay engaged by encouraging time off and leading by example. All leaders need time to recharge. Taking time off to rest, connect with loved ones, and pursue personal interests puts work into perspective and makes managers more relatable as people.

24. They support their teams.

Managers cannot succeed without the support of their teams. The best managers empower their teams by allowing them to take ownership for their work. Successful managers provide their teams with the encouragement, tools, and resources they need to get their jobs done.

25. They say, “Thank you.”

In a performance driven workplace, expressing gratitude is often overlooked. Thanking others for their contributions let’s them know they are appreciated and valued. Saying “thank you” takes a few seconds of time. But, the impact can last a lifetime.

Conquering Fear

Nelson Mandela:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Bear Grylls:

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.”

Rosa Parks:

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.”

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”

Dale Carnegie:

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

 

 

 

William Congreve:

“Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.”

 

 

Helen Keller:

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.”

 

 

Babe Ruth:
“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”

 

 

 

Henry Ford:

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.”

 

 

 

Sarah Parish:

“Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don’t go out on the branch, you’re never going to get the best fruit.”

 

10 THINGS EVERYBODY SHOULD DO IN 2020

1. Pursue something.
Don’t walk in the entire 365 days without having something particular in mind to achieve. Start an income generating project, if you don’t have one already.Just do something!
2. Walk with people wiser or stronger than you.
In 2020, surround yourself with people who will inspire you, who will make you feel you can do better, who will challenge you on.
3. Check your dressing or appearance.
Don’t put on ‘anything’ just because it covers your nakedness. Your appearance tells a lot about you. Iron your clothes neatly. Ladies don’t wear dresses in the name of fashion or trend . Wear more decent but fitting dresses. This is the slogan: Simple but Classy.
4. Check how you talk.
Before you open your mouth, be minded of who you are talking to, where you are talking, when you are talking and also know that your integrity is at stake. In every situation, choose silence over speech unless you don’t have any option.
5. Visitations
Visit old people’s home to appreciate them also orphanage and children in need of special care.  Don’t let them feel unwanted or neglected in the scheme of things.
6. In 2020, be more prayerful.
You can’t live your life thinking things occur merely logically. There’s a Supreme Being who makes things happen, pray to him.🙏
7.Be Resourceful
In 2020, start thinking or planning towards doing more for humanity.
8.Be Positive
In 2020, always think Positive while being Realistic. When you see tigers praying to God, don’t join them. You can be positive that they won’t ‘chop’ you since they are praying but be realistic too that after the prayers, they’ll remain tigers and God will feed them with flesh.
9. Show Gratitude
Buy gifts for your loved ones.    In 2020 try and do something ‘small’ for parents . You have no idea what  goes on in their minds  Let them feel you are not far off
10. Be Thrifty
In 2020, Invest more, save less, spend less. Put your money into investment ventures. Buy T-bills, buy shares, buy fixed deposits, import some goods and sell, be a stock broker, etc. In fact, get more than one stream of income!
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The point is, don’t work your life out. Many known names have gone and life goes on. You won’t take your work with you when you die. You are not as important as you think, calm down. Take time off work, go and do medical check-up, visit your family, visit gardens or the beach and appreciate nature and so on….
               *Happy new year*