Category Archives: Business

IN THE END…

Precious Memories!

all the small things make a big difference

every step is crucial

life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph

it’s about the trials and errors that slowly get you there

the blood, sweat, tears and the small,

inconsequential things you do on a day-to-day basis

it all matters in the end

every step, every regret, every decision, every minor setback

and every minuscule win.

all this has strengthened you

all of this has led you to every success you’ve every had

all of this has made you who you are today

and all of this proves that you have the

strength to deal with the challenges

that are in front of you

12 LESSONS LEARNED IN LOVE

Lesson #1 – Love vs. Fear. Don’t Confuse Them.

Ultimately, we have the ability to choose between these two.

The most succinct contrast I’ve seen is this:

“Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hordes, harms. Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away.

Fear holds close, love holds dear, Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes, Fear attacks, love amends.”

Lesson #2 – Separate Love from Need and Wanting.

Ignore popular culture.  Separate love from need and wanting.  Do not confuse these even though songs, TV, and literature often make them the same.

They are not.

  1. Need is the belief that you cannot possibly live without that someone or something.
  2. Wanting is the belief that you do not have something and the desire to obtain it.  When you grasping for a want, you are saying it’s a need. e.g. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you”.

I say belief here because I’ve noticed that in changing my mind about what I need, some things have fallen away.

They were never needs or wants at all.

I was after something else that I thought that the want or need would bring me. Like asking for a soda because I was thirsty and only after realizing that soda actually dehydrates me in the long run.

Certainly attraction is part of love, but when you start to grasp and become desperate, you’ve left the realm of love.

You simply cannot force or manipulate someone into loving you.

Wanting is fine in that it can expose our desires and motivations, but if you have an expectation that your wants will always be fulfilled, you are crossing the line into need.

The more you need from another, less you can truly love them. 

You are generating your internal energy and well-being from trying to control your outside world.

Controlling the outside world is always a struggle.

You end up running your life like it’s a juggling match, trying to arrange it so all your needs and wants can be met.

How are you going to love someone if they do not show up how you need them too?

You get bitter, resentful, or at the least, drained.

Naturally, you will fear losing the outside source of your well-being and you attempt to control the other person(s).

This suffocates your relationship(s) over time.

Confusing love and need leads to mistaken ideas like jealously is love, drama in a relationship is love, codependence is love, love hurts, and other such confusion.

While these are common and normal, they are not at all related to love.

Love is NOT need.

Lesson #3 – There is Only So Much Love to Go Around.

This is a fear based idea. There may be limited time or resources to spend on people, but when you give love to one person, you don’t have less to give to another. 

If anything, I’ve found that it can increase your capacity to love elsewhere.

Jealousy is our ego saying “I’m not getting enough”.

This should be addressed in the relationship by accepting it, loving it and then moving on from it.

Concentrate on what you want to create with the other person and who they are being with you vs what else they are doing with their time or energy.

Get out of the scarcity mentality.

Lesson #4 – Unconditional Love. No Conditions. Not trading.

Give to empower with the birthday present model   Unconditional love means “love without condition”.

Much of this confusion can come from religious beliefs since many tell us that we have to meet some criteria for “the Creator” to love us. 

Entertain that it’s possible to love someone without conditions and the more whole you are, the more that’s possible.

Most of us have rarely experienced that because of the confusion with love and need.

Unconditional love can only be given when the giver is not dependent on the other person for something. 

The givers love has to be generated internally.

It follows that true love is freely given without requirement or expectation. It’s a gift.

This doesn’t mean the giver doesn’t have needs as well, but a giver can remove the expectation of receiving when they give.

Do not turn “I love you very much” into “I trade you very much”.

If as the giver you are getting drained, then concentrate on what will give you energy.

Don’t demand that that energy come from your lover.  Ask for it, but don’t demand it

If you are tired of giving, stop and recharge.

If you notice the giving is disempowering someone and making them more dependent, stop giving and help them to learn to meet their own needs.

I try to remember this by thinking about getting or giving a birthday present. I give with no strings attached and I try to give what the other person says they want.

It is easier if they tell me what  they want instead of my trying to guess, but I’m willing to try either way.

That gift should mean something to them, not necessarily to me.

The other person may throw the gift out, that’s fine. I draw energy in that I gave.

Then if I need something myself and I don’t get it for my birthday, I go out and buy it for myself. I encourage the other person to do the same and not rely on me to give them everything they want. 

This frees everyone up to receive and to give without putting expectations into the picture. We don’t expect to get our basic needs met on our birthday.

I’m not going to rely on someone to feed me via birthday presents.

Lesson # 5 – Fearful Protection is Only Necessary Because of Our Needs and Wounds.

Heal them and you reduce the need to protect yourself.

As mentioned in point 1, love expands and opens itself.

What about being hurt? Where does that come from?

That’s pretty common in our close relationships.

If someone physically hurts us, that’s a bodily response. But most of the pain around love in relationships starts or remains in the emotional area.

I’ve used the model of “emotional wounds” in myself. It makes it easier to think about what I should do because it seems more obvious if I had a physical wound.

When someone touches an emotional wound in me, it’s like they’ve brushed up against an open wound on my skin.

It hurts. 

We are hurt when someone reinforces judgments we may suspect about ourselves.

Those judgments show up as our wounds.

Use caution, but not fear.

Caution here means that you realize that you have these sensitivities and you don’t needlessly expose them and get hurt.

Fear would mean you are in a constant state of dread that someone will hit them and so you run away or seal up.

If you suspect that someone is likely to reject you, factor that in to how you proceed.

Caution acknowledges natural consequences.

You want to play football, but you’ve got a wound. So you put on a band-aid or even a plastic covering taking into account the environment you are entering.

However, when the need to protect yourself or another comes along with anger and emotional drama, it’s from fear.

When there is a desire for retribution, that’s fear.

Often when we open up, we at the same time fear that another will not. 

Others behavior can inform you. It doesn’t have to hurt. 

You can actually be open and not be hurt. The hurt comes from needing another to return that same feeling, thus proving you are lovable.

If you believe that you are lovable, this is not a problem.

You simply move on to those where you can express love and receive it back.

Lesson # 6 – The More Needs You Have About How Someone is Supposed to Show Up, the More You Have to Protect Yourself.

Personally, I make it okay that my mate can change her mind about what she wants in the future and so can I.

This allows for growth. 

The less you give yourself from the inside, the more requirements you have about how others show up.

The more you love and accept yourself, the less necessary it is to protect those inner parts and you don’t resist change.

Lesson # 7 – Ultimately, Love Lets Go.

If you’ve followed what’s above, then you understand that “needing” and “grasping” is fear based. 

When you don’t need as much, you can see that you can continue to love people even when their wants and desire conflict with yours.

Lesson # 8 – Be Dedicated to the Quality of Your Relationship, Not its Longevity.

We all know people who probably should not be together because the energy they create together is toxic to them and/or those around them.

If you concentrate on how to heal yourself, meet your own needs,  and make your relationship healthy, you may either stay together or separate. 

One is not better than the other. 

If you figure out how to be healthy and stay together, your relationship deepens to the next level and you have a greater capacity for trust and intimacy.

If it does not, you may separate, but you will not have the bitter, no holds barred, damaging divorces that seem to happen on a regular basis.

These are caused by needs and expectations.

You may separate with or without sadness, but never malice.

You may actually find that your love relationship with that person still grows. The love doesn’t (have to) go away.

The relationship just changes.

Lesson # 9 – Love Another as Yourself, not Instead Of, or More Than.

A misinterpretation of the ethic of giving has led people to believe they can love themselves only through others.

“Love your neighbor as yourself” means keep the two as equal as possible.

“Love your neighbor and yourself” “would be a better translation to me.

When giving progressively drains you over time, you are not giving from a sustainable place.

Eventually, you give yourself away and then there is nothing left. 

Love considers the well- being of those doing the loving.

Lesson # 10 – Reject the “Complete Me” Model. Think Three, not One.

Don’t try to be one person with your mate.  This leads to a belief of needing another to be whole.

Relationships change and move.

Have you, your mate, and the relationship

Think of a relationship as something you both have to feed with time and energy.

When one person doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, then it affect two parts, but it doesn’t take you with it. You let go and you are intact.

Lesson # 11 – Understand the Difference.

Understand the difference between intimacy, connection, infatuation, lust, touch, sex, nurturing and love.

Be clear on what you are trying to experience.

Most people fold these all together in some way.  It’s not that these things can’t go together with love or enhance it, the same way the food in a recipe comes together to make something greater than the whole.

But if you think that milk and eggs are the same and then you keep adding more eggs to a recipe, you are going to come out with something that’s not likely to taste good. In the same way, your relationship will seem like something is missing or you have too much of something. 

Later in this post, I go through definitions of each of these and how to draw distinctions.

And don’t expect your desires to matches your mates.

You are two different people. 

There has to be some overlap obviously, but respect that people have different tastes and so want different proportions in their recipes.

Lesson # 12 – What Makes Us “Feel Loved” Varies.

Lesson #11 doesn’t include every possibility of course.  Feeling loved often boils down to a set of attributes like those listed in lesson #11. 

When you experience them with your lover, you naturally become closer.

We each have our love languages. There is even a book called “The 5 Love Languages”.

Take the time to figure this out and express it to your mate.

Don’t make your mate responsible for figuring it out.

2022 RULES FOR SUCCESS

  • Morning Routine
    • Create an early morning routine so that you can build momentum for the day. This includes waking up consistently before sunrise.
  • Concentration
    • Concentrate on your daily goals. We become what we think about
  • Think Positively.
    • Have a positive mental attitude so that you can achieve positive results
  • Trust Yourself
    • Ignore the haters.
  • Friends
    • Associate yourself with successful and like-minded people
  • Learn Daily
    • Go to bed smarter by reading books, watching seminars and listening to audio books.
  • Build One Habit at a Time
    • It takes 66 days to develop a habit.
  • Impatience is Weakness
    • Be patient when working on your goals, you can’t be strong all the time, you will have your ups and downs.

GOLDEN WISDOM

A farmer went to the field one day to cultivate.

During the work, he glanced at the mango tree and saw a big ripe mango he plucked it.

An idea occurred to him not to eat this mango, but to take it home to his wife whom he loves so much, even though he was starving.

When he got home, he called his wife and gave her the mango to show her his love.

Very happy with this precious gift, the woman thought directly of her child who had gone to school.

She took the mango, thanked her husband sincerely and reassured him that she would eat it afterwards.

The woman hid the mango and decided to give it to her son as soon as he returns from school to show him her love.

As soon as the child came back from school, the mother gave him this mango with a lot of joy in her heart.

The child thanked his mother warmly for this precious gift and told his mother that he would eat it later.

He too resolved to hide this mango and make a surprise gift to his father who pays his school fees, believing that the Dad knows nothing about this mango.

In the evening while everyone was eating the family meal, the child said to his father:

“One minute dad, I will bring you a present because I love you so much”.

He ran to his room, took the mango and gave it to his father.

He was surprised to see the same mango he had given to his beloved wife returned back to him again.

Without any comment, he asked for a knife and shared it equally among the three of them (himself, his wife and his child).

They all ate this mango with a lot of joy.

That’s how love works.

When you give love, it comes back to you in another way, because love is the most extraordinary force that governs the universe of God.

Let’s show love unconditionally to people we get in contact with.

Show love without expecting anything in return

This is a time/ season to show love.

COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

  • Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
  • Why the early bird gets the worm;
  • Life isn’t always fair;
  • And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

  • I Know My Rights
  • I Want It Now
  • Someone Else Is To Blame
  • I’m A Victim
  • Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

THE LEADER WITHIN US

Sooner or later we will discover the Leader within us. A good leader is someone who is in Control, gives Directions, Guidance, Headship, is an excellent Listener and has good management skills.

L – Listener

E – Effective

A – Ability

D – Direction

E – Extraordinary

R – Responsibility

Endurance

The vitality of thought is in adventure. Ideas won’t keep. Something must be done about them. When the idea is new, its custodians have fervour, live for it, and if need be, die for it – Alfred North

Educators take something simple and make it complicated. Communicators take something complicated and make it simple – John Maxwell

The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example – Benjamin Disraeli

Perseverance is not a long race it is many short races one after another – Walter Elliot

Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure – Edward Eggleston

Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all – Dwight Eisenhower

Plunge boldly into the thick of life, and seize it where you will, it is always interesting –Johann Von

Rule your mind or it will rule you – Horace

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push and you push alone – Laurence Peter

To win without risk is to triumph without glory – Pierre Corneille

Tough times never last, but tough people do –Robert Schuller

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being – Von Goethe

Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan – John Kennedy

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit – Conrad Hilton

Successful leaders have the courage to take action while others hesitate – John Maxwell

The best job goes to the person who can get it done without passing the buck or coming back with excuses – Napoleon Hill

The best leaders are those most interested in surrounding themselves with assistants and associated smarter than they are. They are frank in admitting thins and are willing to pay for such talents – Amos Parrish

The best leaders of all, the people know not they exist. They turn to each other and say, we did it ourselves – Zen Saying

Of all the properties which belong to honourable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character – Henry Clay

The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own accord, will run even faster if encouraged – Ovid

The same hammer that shatters the glass forges the steel – Proverb

One man with courage makes a majority – Andrew Jackson

Nurture you mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes – Benjamin

One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life – Edward Butler

One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this – Don

One of the strongest characteristics of genius is the power of lighting its own fire – John Foster

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency – Arnold Glasgow

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down – Mary Pickford

You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

You must not only aim right, but draw the bow with all your might – Henry Thoreau

You must play boldly to win- Arnold

Your opinions are limited only by your fears – Joseph Jambu

You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor – James

It is no use for a leader to surround himself with ten yes-men – Nelson Mandela

Goals

When the solution is simple, God is answering – Albert

It is the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative actin, that man finds his supreme joys – Antoine

Whenever I get to a low point, I go back to the basics. I ask myself, “Why am I doing this?” It comes down to passion – St. James

If you follow you bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else – Campbell

Leadership is the capacity and will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence – Bernard

There are one hundred and ninety nine ways to get beat, but only one way to win; get there first – Willie

There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience – Joseph Jambu

Outstanding people have one thing in common: an absolute sense of mission – ZigZiglar

The immature mind hops from one thing to another; the mature mind seeks to follow through – Harry

The Jack of all trades seldom is good at any. Concentrate all of your efforts on one definite chief aim – Napoleon

There is no use whatever trying to help people who do don help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he is willing to climb himself – Andrew

There is only one way……to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it – Dale

The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing their inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives – William

Rather fall with honor than succeed by fraud – Sophocles

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal – Ralph

The great thing in the wold is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving – Oliver

Leaders establish the vision for the future and set the strategy for getting there; they cause change. They motivate and inspire others to go in the right direction and they, along with everyone else, sacrifice to get there – John

Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them – John

Leadership is the ability of a single individual through his or her actions to motivate others to higher levels of achievement – Rodgers

Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions – Harold

Management is nothing more than motivating other people – Lee

Management works in the system; leadership works on the system – Covey

Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it – Lou

Ethics must begin at the top of an organization. It is a leadership issue and the chief executive must set the example – Edward

Moral courage and character go hand in hand…..a man of real character is consistently courageous, being imbued with a basic integrity and a firm sense of principle – Martha

Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it – Dwight

Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never, never – in nothing great or small, large or petty. Never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense – Churchill

When you are in a valley, keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue the climb – Denis

You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are – Edgar

The successful men of today are men of one overmastering idea, one unwavering aim, men of single and intense purpose – Orison

Honesty and Humility

Cherish your human connections: your relationship with friends and family – Bush

Business is not just doing deals; business is having great products, doing great engineering, and providing tremendous service to customer. Finally, business is a cobweb of human relationships – Ross

How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you – Dan

Developing excellent communication skill is absolutely essential to effective leadership. The leader must be able to share knowledge and ideas to transmit a sense of urgency and enthusiasm to others. If a leader can’t get a massage across clearly and motivate others to act on it, then having a message doesn’t even matter –Amelio

It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself – Anna

A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him – John

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing – George

You can’t do everything at once, but you can do something at one – Calvin

A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn’t like the tune – Joseph Jambu

You cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too – Sam

I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occassions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot… and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why…. I succeed – Michael Jordan

You can’t lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself – Gene

No executive has ever suffered because his subordinates’ were strong and effective – Peter

No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself – Conrado

No man is truly great who is great only in his lifetime. The test of greatness is the page of history – William

The superior man is distressed by the limitations of his ability; he is not distressed by the fact that men do not recognize the ability that he has – Confucius

The cynic says, “One man can’t do anything”. I say, “Only one man can do anything” – John

The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people – Woodrow

The tallest trees are most in the power of the winds, and ambitious men of the blasts of fortune – William

We have the high salaries and we are living in luxury: that destroys our capacity to speak in a forthright manner and tell people to tighten their belts – Nelson Mandela

Leaders

Leaders are problem solvers by talent and temperament by choice – Harlan

Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that’s the price we’ll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal – Vince

A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be – Carter

You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership – Dwight

There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things – Niccolo

Show me the leader and I will know his men. Show me the men and I will know their leader – Newcomb

Remember, what you get by reaching your destination isn’t nearly as important as what you become by reaching your goals – what you will become is the winner you were born to be! – ZigZiglar

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant – Max

The first task of a leader is to keep hope alive – Joe

The function of the leader is to produce more leaders, not more followers – Ralph

The great leaders are like the best conductors – they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players – Lee

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it – Dwight

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd – Max

Example is not the main thing in influencing others; it is the only thing – Albert

Men make history, and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skilful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better – Harry

No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair – George

The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self – restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it – Theodore

Warriors take chances. Like everyone else, they fear failing, but they refuse to let fear control them – Ancient

If people are coming to work excited… if they are making mistakes freely and fearlessly… if they are having fun… if they are concentrating doing things, rather than preparing reports and going to meetings – then somewhere you have leaders – Townsend

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity – George

The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself – Edward

The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn – Waldo

When leaders have the honesty to criticize their own mistakes and their own organization, then they can criticize others – Nelson Mandela

It is important to surround yourself with strong and independent personalities, who will tell you when you are getting old – Nelson Mandela

You have to play the mother chicken which provides refuge for everybody. You must be a tower of hope, a model and a motivator. It also takes patience as one has to take all the insult and intimidation because a lot of people will say that you are too assertive – Sarah

Women must rise above being good managers – of the man, the home, the children and all things spicy and sweet – and boldly step out into the visionary leadership – Lucy

Born or made we all have the leader within us, no matter you colour, race, or gender – Delno

Positive thinking

There is no power on earth that can neutralize the influence of a high, simple and useful life – Booker

He who has done his best for his time has lived for all times – Von

The first rule of holes; when you’re in one, stop digging – Molly

What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things – Mead

There is in true beauty, as in courage, somewhat which narrow soul cannot dare to admire – William

There is no substitute for victory – Douglas

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything – Billy

It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him – John

Knowledge is the most democratic source of power – Alvin

You can’t measure the heart of a champion – Joseph Jambu

A brave man thinks no one superior who does him injury; for make himself superior to the other by forgiveness – Pope

A leader is a dealer in hope – Napoleon

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices – William

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way – John

You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you – Brian

You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through – Rosalynn

You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give – Joseph Jambu

The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality – Quincy

Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish – Sam

Part of being a champ is acting like a champ. You have to learn how to win and not run away when you lose. Everyone has bad stretches and real successes. Either way, you have to be careful not to lose your confidence or get to confident – Nancy

The mind, ever the willing servant, will respond to boldness, for boldness, in effect, is a command to deliver mental resources – Norman

There is no substitute for guts – Paul

There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability – Robert

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them – Shaw

There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self – Joseph Jambu

Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve permanently happy spirit – Norman

Quality begins in the inside… and then works its way out – Bob

Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so – Charles

Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises – Demosthenes

Realize that true happiness lies within you – Lucian

Reason and judgment are the qualities of a leader – Tacitus

The first step is to fill your life with a positive faith that will help you through anything. The second is to begin where you are – Norman

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around – Leo

Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes – Kenneth

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man – Elbert

You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and delicatest ways, improve yourself – John

Your aspirations are you possibilities – Samuel L. Jackson

Those who wish to sing, always find a song – Joseph Jambu

Dear mentality enslaved…

I hope you find the courage to change your life. In the small ways, in the big ways, in every way that matters. I hope you do not end this story with a heart fully of regrets. I hope you do not spend your years just waiting for your life to begin. I hope you realize that this is not the practice run, this is not the preview. This is it. There is nothing to do but leap. There is nothing to do but allow yourself to exist as boldly and honestly as you can. You will think you have forever, but you do not. It all happens, and it happens quickly. You are not waiting on another person, or the right timing, or for everything to fall in place. You are waiting to feel ready enough to exist within the questions, to not need every answer, and to know that this life does not come to us to be perfectly understood, but to be fully experienced, in every direction we can possibly reach.

Top 10 Rules for Success

1. Everything Is A Season

Never make a permanent decision in a temporary problem

2.Pursue Ideas

Poor people talk about money all the time

Rich people talk about things

Wealthy people talk about ideas

3.Create Your Own Work

Your job is what they train you to do; your work is what you were born to do

Your job is your skill which they can fire you anytime, but your work is your gift – no one can take that from you

Your job is where you get compensation for activity, your work is where you get fulfilment because you love it so much

Your job you can retire from, your work you can never retire because your work is you

So when a person discovers their work, they no longer need a job because their work makes them productive

Every problem in life is a business, all businesses are simply someone solving a problem.

4.Create A Positive Change

Change produces 3 types of people;

-people who watch things happen

-people who make things happen

-people who wonder what happened

5.Become A Person Of Value

We need to be more focused on developing ourselves, rather than trying to grab money now.

Focus on self-improvement, self-expansion, rather than trying to get your pocket to expand because the more valuable you make yourself, the more value you attract.

You are not paid for how hard you work; you are paid for what you are worth to the organization.

The more intellectual development you have, the more spiritual development you have, the more psychological development you have, the more emotional stability – you become more valuable to the world.

If you become valuable to the world – the world will pay you to be yourself.

So it’s important that you become a person of value – not to seek value in things.

6.Follow Your Passion

7.Defy Your Own Experience

You should never judge your success by other people accolades. You judge yourself by God’s instruction to your life and how well you are with that instruction, because the average human being is so mediocre, that to be a genius – just do a little extra.

When experience is your teacher then progress is imprisoned.

8.Use Adversity For Your Benefit

If there is a silver lining to bad times it is this, when facing severe challenges – your mind is normally at its sharpest.

Humans seldom have created anything of lasting value unless they were tried or hurting.

9.Discover Your Purpose

Leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, not manipulation. That inspiration comes from a passion motivated by a sense of vision and a sense of purpose.

Leadership is first personal then corporate. Leadership is not something you pursue, it’s something you discover. Leaders are born when human discover something more important than their personal ambition. True leaders don’t seek followers. True leaders pursue a passion to a purpose that gives them a sense of destiny. They sacrifice themselves to accomplish something for the greater good.

10.Learn From Everything

The best thing in life to do is not to regret and try to change what happened, but to interpret it properly, maximise and use it to serve other people.

6 Ways to Exlore Yourself and the World in New Ways

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Elliot

Adding new experiences to your life is the best way to stay fully engaged, energized, and enthusiastic.

Otherwise you burn out from boredom.

Your routines and monotony will eat your soul.

When you shake things up, you active your brain, and you reengage with your life.  And that’s how you live.

Seek Novelty and Challenge to Be Happier in Life

Science says our brains seek change.  Novelty and challenge are the keys to help you break out of routines and ruts, and to create a sense of energy and enthusiasm.

“After peering into thousands of people’s brains with advanced imaging machines such as the MRI, neuroscientists have concluded that the brain is hardwired to seek and enjoy novelty and challenge

Remember those two ingredients:  novelty and challenge.

You can have all the right fixing for an incredible life–love, respect, abundance, and so on–but without those two ingredients your recipe ends up as a bland soup of sadness and disengagement.”

An engaged brain is a happy one.  When you try new things, you give your brain a chance to come alive and get back in the game.

Your brain loves “let’s figure this out” mode when you give it a chance.

Your brain becomes much more activated when something novel or challenging occurs.  Novel things make your mind snap to attention and become sharp, releasing dopamine and energizing your brain to go into ‘let’s figure this out’ mode.  It’s what motivates us to learn.  If that novelty also challenges us then our brains stay engaged for even longer.  And an engaged brain is a happy brain.

1.  The Ninety-Day Getaway

Take a trip, once every three months (once a quarter in corporate warrior terms).

Every ninety days, plan a getaway either by yourself or with our spouse or significant other.  Yes, every ninety days.  This doesn’t have to be a trip around the world–the goal isn’t how far you travel; it’s how far you get away, the difference being measured not in the miles you travel, but in how far mentally you break the monotony of routine in order to relax and rejuvenate.

2.  The Restaurant or Dining Tour

Date night is a great night to try some new places to eat.  If you don’t have a date night, maybe that’s your starting point.

Make your date nights an excursion to a new restaurant once a week.  If you’re in a small town, get a group of friends to host dinner every few weeks.  The goal is to get about town and experience new dining experiences.

3.  Shows, Sporting Events, Experiences

There is always something going on.  And something amazing might be happening right in your own backyard.

I am constantly surprised when I find out who’s in town, or what shows are playing, or what fun things there are to do, either in the local neighborhood or a hop-skip-and a jump away.

It’s a reminder that I really need to map out and pay attention to local area events.

What’s happening in your city this weekend?  Are there shows or performances you can go see?  Any new exhibits or exhibitions?  Despite the fact that many of us love going to the movies, sporting events, or the theater, most of us rarely do.  Make it a habit to be on the lookout for things you can go see and cheer for.

4.  Travel Adventures

Traveling is a great way to explore new places and try new things.  The most interesting thing to me is how some places don’t feel like any other places on the planet.

Do you have a list of the top-fifty destinations you want to go in your life?  Are you actively checking them off the list, at least once per year?  If not, get to it.  Traveling is one of the surest ways to introduce novelty, engagement, and excitement in your life.

5.  Expanding Your Peer Circle

Long ago a friend of mine gave me a new metaphor for people.  He said that I had looked at the people in my life in a static way.  More like a lake.  He said I needed to take a river view, and keep in mind that people are constantly flowing into and out of our lives.

A little habit I adopted at work is to challenge myself to regularly meet new people and expand my worlds.  And I find new people bring new energy, and I feed off that.

It’s funny how ‘making friends’ is so important to us when we’re young, but we lay off our efforts the older we get.  But your friendship and peer circles are the most important external influences in determining your happiness (outside of your intimate relationship).  Get serious about expanding your peer circle by going to networking events, fund-raisers, and local events and performances.  Be on the lookout not just for networking purposes, but for friendship-making purposes.

6.  Skill Development

Adding new skills is a great way to keep your brain alive and open the doors to new possibilities.

What ten skills should you develop this year?  How actively are you currently chasing and working toward mastery of something like writing, speaking, singing, cooking, programming, leading, playing soccer, or some other artistic, athletic, or professional skill?

The challenge of seeking new skills is one of the surest ways to test and transcend your own boundaries.  Go find something new to learn, and fall on your face trying to learn it.  Enjoy the process of learning–it’s one of the easiest paths to a more engaged brain (and life).

The quality of your life is really the quality of your experiences.

If you want to raise the bar and feel fully alive, then challenge yourself to find new ways to try new things and to add new experiences to your life.

Otherwise, you may slowly lose your spark that makes everything else worth it.

Keep your spark.

time

Live Life To The Fullest!!!

Time waits for no one

Time stops for no one

Your excuses will not slow down time

Your indecision’s will not delay time

Your complaining will not stall time

Your regrets will not turn back time

So, don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries and hate

Because time will not turn back and cry along with you

It’s time to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future

Your only time is NOW

So, make sure you spend your time with the right purpose

With the right deeds

With the right emotions

With the right thoughts

And with the right people

Time flies! That’s a fact

But you can always spread your wings and soar with time

And navigate life the best that you can!

Remember, you will never pass this way again

Make it count

Time. Do what it does… keep moving!

lessons people learn too late in life

Live in the NOW

  1. Everything is temporary
  2. Life is not fair
  3. Family matters more than friends
  4. Others treat you the way you treat yourself
  5. Happiness is a choice and requires hard work
  6. Beneath anger is always fear
  7. Things don’t matter that much
  8. A lifetime isn’t very long
  9. You played it too safe
  10. Time waits for no man – make each moment count

50 life changing chess nuggets

THE GAME OF CHESS

After reading “Little Book of Chess Tips” by Peter French i sought my own interpretation of the same and how the rules can apply in our day to day lives. Enjoy………………………….

Things may not be as they seem!

  1. Pay close attention to every move your opponent makes – figure out the reason behind the step in life.
  2. When you see a good move, wait – look for a better one! – try to find the best move you can in every single position.
  3. Always have a plan in mind – what are you trying to achieve in a few years time.
  4. Remember value according to the type of position – strike where it hurts the most by optimising chances.
  5. Avoid repeating mistakes – analyse your games to understand better your opponent’s plans.
  6. Time is a vital element in chess – establish yourself in the strongest possible way using as few moves as possible.
  7. Control of the centre – everything flows from the heart, guard it with all your might.
  8. Never compromise or neglect your king – stick to what is most important and never derail.
  9. Know when to swap – difference between hoarding and spending relies on both timing and wisdom
  10. Weaken your opponents pawn formation – don’t miss an opportunity of tackling your problems and shuttering it’s structure.
  11. Consider the endgame – envision the end from the beginning.
  12. Concentrate all the time – remain frosty till victory is established at the very end of the game.
  13. If you are losing in the endgame, set stalemate traps – restrict your opponent as much as possible so as to increase chances of your victory.
  14. Be much more alert to your own attacking possibilities – be readier to defend against future threats or even to remove them completely.
  15. Relieve the pin/tie as soon as possible – be aware of any issues that may be tying you down as they narrow down your options to succeed.
  16. Moving to discover a threat from another piece – ensure you consider every potential move your opponent can make.
  17. All games are eventually decided by tactics – the most advantageous weapon that you can carry into a fight is tact.
  18. Always be on the lookout – search for indicators/red flags that may reduce your chances of winning or increase your opponents chances of losing.
  19. Reasons for making a sacrifice – be mindful in order to maximise your gains and limit your opponents options.
  20. Defend with the weakest available piece – wherever possible, use pawns to defend as much as possible.
  21. The knight is the weakest defensive piece – your game is as strong as your weakest link.
  22. Exploit overloaded pieces – read into your opponents game and take advantage of any mishaps.
  23. Don’t spend all your practice time learning opening theory – in any case, a thorough grasp of strategy and tactics is a far greater asset in the opening than mere book knowledge.
  24. When you are not sure of the best plan – improve the position of your worst placed piece.
  25. Balance pawn moves – thereby creating your opponents weakness that will be exploited later in the game.
  26. If your king is under attack – sometimes the best defence is to retreat and evaluate yourself, plan, strategize and come back with a better tactic.
  27. Never begin with insufficient material – the intensity of an attack should correlate with the resources available to execute the same.
  28. If your king is castled behind unmoved pawns – don’t put all your eggs in one basket in regards to defence.
  29. Look for the Greek gift sacrifice – sometimes death of a team member is necessary for the sake of the team’s survival.
  30. Look for opportunities – at times it may need you to make a calculated sacrificial tactical move that can win immediately.
  31. Never attack unless and until – only commence aggression when you have a tangible positional advantage.
  32. Do not attack on the flank unless – the centre should be strong, impenetrable and infallible.
  33. Spend time studying endgames – understanding the endgame makes the player more likely to win when the opportunity presents itself.
  34. Do not underestimate the king in the end game – do not hesitate to use your best resources at your disposal at the time when they can be fully optimised.
  35. The knight should stay as close to the king as possible – keep your priorities in life straight.
  36. Aim to exchange so that when the endgame is reached it is your opponent not you, who has the pawn – foresight is key.
  37. If you are defending the king against the king and pawn – strategy and tact is vital to draw the end game.
  38. When defending with a rook against pawns – sometimes you have to lose some to get some.
  39. To build batteries on files or diagonals – working together will yield a stronger result than the sum of its parts.
  40. Consider playing a system – the more things change, they more they stay the same.
  41. If winning beware of exchange into an opposite coloured bishop endgame – stay on your toes until the last victory whistle.
  42. Consider playing your opponent, not the board – assess as far as you can what type of problem you have and seek to frustrate it by all means necessary.
  43. Never neglect your control of the clock – it is essential to invest you time wisely, and conserve it for when you really need it.
  44. Don’t give checks for the sake of it – every resource should be used frugally in a nifty fashion.
  45. Do chess puzzles – always look for ways to expound your critical thinking ability.
  46. Use a good chess computer program – constantly seek to challenge yourself in order to grow.
  47. Do not fall into the habit – seek virtues rather than vices in all your deeds.
  48. Do not forget to look for traps – nothing is for free, always question and be suspicious.
  49. Play your best game all the time – let your lifestyle reflect your *A* game in all your endeavours.
  50. Remember that chess is a game – be generous to your opponent when you win, and never, ever be a bad loser. Play to win, play aggressively by all means, but treat your opponent with respect!

My favourite take away from this book is “The winner of the game is the player who makes the next – to – last mistake”

Do not be afraid to take risks even though they make your stomach churn – they may just be worth it!

Credit goes to the author of the ‘Little Book of Chess Tips’ by Peter French

The journey is short

An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young lady climbed up and sat down beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.

When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags?

The elderly woman replied with a Smile: “There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as our journey together is so short, because I am going to get off at the next stop.”

This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: “There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short.”

Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short. That darkening it with useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

Did someone break your heart? Stay calm. The trip is too short.

Did someone betray, intimidate, cheat or humiliate you? Relax. Don’t stress. The trip is too short.

Did someone insult you without reason? Shake it off. Ignore it. The trip is too short.

Did a neighbor make a comment that you didn’t like? Take a deep breath. Ignore him/her. Forgive and forget it. The trip is too short.

Whatever problem someone has brought us, remember that our journey together is too short.

No one knows the length of our trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is short.

Let us appreciate friends and family.
Let us be respectful, kind and forgiving.
In return, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. After all, our trip together is very short.

when i think…..

“When I think about the depth of the grave and the kilos of sand that are going to be thrown at us when we die, there is no need to harm my brother;

When I think of the darkness that pervades the tomb after it has closed, there is no need to hurt my sister;

When I think of the heat driven back by the ground and the amount of water that will drown me during the rains in this grave, I cannot make my neighbor suffer;

When I think that I will be alone abandoned by all, I prefer to enjoy communion when I am alive;
When I think my relationships are cut off by my past, I want to perfect my future.

If I could be reborn and start all over again, I would no longer make mistakes in my actions.
After a long meditation, I understood that all is vanity on earth.

May God help us to cultivate humility and love for our neighbors because vanity only gives vanity, everything will be vanity.
Be happy and make someone happy. “

What 25 Movies Teach Us About Love

Love comes in all shapes and sizes and to each his own.  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I put together a sampling of 25 movies and what they can teach us about life and love.  Even if you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day, enjoy the quotes and perhaps see things in a new light.  Sometimes just the right words, are like an old song, sung new.

Here they are:

  1. As Good as it Gets – Love can bring out your best.  Melvin: “You make me want to be a better man.”
  2. Be My Valentine Charlie Brown – Just because you don’t get a Valentine, doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable.
  3. Casablanca.  Kiss like you mean it.  Ilsa: “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
    It’s the kind of thing you want to hold on to forever.”
  4. Casper: Don’t let go.  Casper: “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?”
  5. Cinderella.  It’s what dreams are made of.  Cinderella: “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”
  6. Dan in Real Life.  Love is an ability.  Marty: “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.”
  7. Don Juan DeMarco.  The answer is love.  Don Juan: “There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”
  8. Ghost.  Sometimes you need to hear it.  Sam: “Ditto.”
  9. It’s a Wonderful Life.  We’ll do anything to impress the one we love.  George: “What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”
  10. Memoirs of a Geisha. Love is a bond.  Nobu: “We are tied to each other. I know you feel it too.”
  11. My Girl – Butterflies and fuzzy feelings are what first kisses are about.  Loss hurts.
  12. P.S. I Love You – Cherish the time you have together.  It’s part of the journey.  Gerry: “If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you”
  13. Romeo and Juliet – Puppy love makes you say the darnedest things.  Romeo: “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”
  14. Runnaway Bride – Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride.  But it’s worth it.  Maggie: “I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee… that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart… you’re the only one for me.”
  15. Shrek – Love comes in all shapes and sizes.  Stay true to you.
  16. Sleepless in Seattle.  Sometimes, it’s like a snowflake just for you.  Sam: “Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”
  17. The Bridges of Madison County.  You know it when you feel it. Robert Kinkaid: “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”
  18. The Crow.  Remember them.  Sarah: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”
  19. The Notebook – If you’ve ever really loved, you know what it’s like to really live.  Noah: “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”
  20. The Princess Bride – Nothing beats true love.  Miracle Max says, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”
  21. The Way We Were – Remember how it felt when it wasn’t complicated.  Hold on to that.  Katie: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything thing would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.”
  22. The Wizard of Oz.  Love isn’t meant to be practical.  Wizard of Oz: “As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
  23. Titanic. Endings can be bitter sweet.  Jack: “Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”
  24. Wedding Crashers – Love more.  You’ve got more capacity than you might think you do.  John: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”
  25. When Harry Met Sally.  Sometimes love is like a new lease on life.  Harry: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

What movies wrinkled your brain when it comes to love?

My wish for the new year

That you have someone to love,

have meaningful work to do,

and have things greater than yourself to believe in;

that you have a reason to smile every day and a shoulder to cry on when you need it;

That you keep your integrity even when the choices are hard;

THAT YOU LOVE DEEPLY,

give freely, forgive willingly,

laugh easily, and live well enough

to be grateful for every day.

The ant’s rule book of life

Be Brave

Ants teach you that no matter how terrifying things may look up ahead, you should never chicken out. They are a lot braver than your action movie heroes

Prepare Ahead

Ants are constantly preparing for the season which is yet to come. It has a start contrast to human behaviour. Your priorities can sometimes be driven by what you feel like doing.

Mind Your Own Business

We often like to talk about others, our friends, society and how bad the world is. We have lot of time to talk about others and poke into others business. Ants on the other hand mind their business.

Teamwork Helps

Everything an ant does is for the benefit of the colony and they will work until they are done. Almost on autopilot, each ant knows their duties and they do everything they can do to get their duties completed.

Adapt To Surroundings

You can find ants just about everywhere. Ants know where to find resources and you should do the same. Be quick to adapt to your surrounding and don’t wait for a wake-up call.

Hard Work Matters

Ants are noted for carrying objects that are bigger than them. This is only make possible through sheer hard work and determination. They are not scared of heavy tasks.

Sense Of Discipline

Without a mistake they march after one another in a line. Without dispute or accident, they move about in order. But everywhere in life man finds loopholes to divide.

Spirit Of Sharing

The ants share everything they get. They never eat anything alone. But what do we humans do? If we find something immediately, we try our best to hoard it in a secret place.

Ignore Diversions

If you put your finger in an ants path, it just walks around it and soldiers on. It won’t let your fingers hinder it’s work. You should do the same and not let silly problems get in your way.

It’s Not About Doing Things Perfectly

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Try Stuff, Even If It’s Not Perfect

It reminds me to keep things real and not get caught up in perfection, or the ideal that does not exist.

That’s the essence and foundation for personal growth.

It reminds me just to try…to give my best effort… to get in the arena and go for it… even if it’s not pretty and it’s not perfect.

And  it’s that fundamental mindset that sets the stage to be able to practice the things that lead to doing great things, even if it’s not pretty, and it’s not perfect.

It’s not about perfection.

It’s about progress… and progress is actually one of the secrets to happiness.

When we grow, we light up our life, even if it’s in some small way.

10 Reminders About Not Doing Things Perfectly

Too many people die with their music still in them, or they never realize their potential, because they get caught up in perfection.

Here are a few of my other favorite reminders about not worrying about doing things perfectly:

  1. A friend of mine was good about reminding me: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”  That was his way of saying to me, focus on “good enough for now” so we could move on the next challenge, and not get stuck in analysis paralysis or the perfection trap.
  2. Similarly, Voltaire put it, ““The best is the enemy of the good.”  Voltaire always has a way with words.
  3. I always liked the phrase: “Make it work, then make it right.”   (balanced with the idea that if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over 😉  … another way to think of this is, don’t get caught up in pre-mature perfection.
  4. Perfection is a journey, not a destination.  Enjoy the journey of learning and mastery.   This is the essence of continuous improvement.   Thinking back, this is really the big idea that helped me avoid a life of worrying about perfection, and instead, focus on progress.
  5. Focus on progress over perfection.  I always liked the idea that to get better at something, you have to do it more than once.  It takes practice.  You can’t practice very much if you are caught up in perfection.  When I think about it like that, it reminds me of Simon Sinek’s phrasing, “Better is better than best.”
  6. One of my best mentors was good at asking, “Is it effective?”   That was a much better focus, than worrying about some arbitrary notion or measure of perfection.  It was a simple reminder that if it wasn’t working, change your approach.   It’s far better to focus on effectiveness, improvement, or progress.   That’s where the growth is.
  7. As Confucius put it, “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”  Talk about trading up.
  8. As Shakespeare put it, “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”  I’ve seen so many good things, come to an end, either for the sake of perfection, or over-doing something that was better in it’s rough and useful form.  I’ve seen some great art, great ideas, and great projects die that way.  Sometimes you just need to leave well enough alone.
  9. As my mechanic always said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”   He was incredibly pragmatic about where to invest time and energy, and not to throw good money after bad.
  10. As Leo Tolstoy put it, “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”   It’s one thing to have great expectations, but don’t let your expectations drain the juice out of your life. 

Perfectionism Is Fundamentally Flawed

Here’s what Wikipedia says about perfectionism:

“Perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”

Yuck.

Don’t Fear Perfection

The good news is you don’t ever have to fear perfection.

As Salvador Dali reminds us with his inspiring words:

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”

How perfect is that?

Your network is your net worth!

There is something in life called “Social Capital”. The people you know; the people who know you and how they know you. What’s social capital? Listen to this,

Quite unfortunately, people think or behave like social capital is only needed on weddings and burials. That is why you see someone will not have contacted you in ten years but out of the blue they are sending you a message, “Hello so and so, long time, next Sunday is my pre-wedding. Or my uncle is dead please I need your support!”

Social capital is not built overnight; it is reciprocal and does not need money (especially in this virtually connected world) to build. It just needs being sensitive that people have emotions and that you can’t sneak into their lives only when you need help.

Social capital is massively important and when built and used correctly, it can make a very big difference to one’s quality of life. It can save you money, make you money, get you a better job, make things easier and safer, it can save you from prison, or save your life: it can save your time and effort, and make life more enjoyable and productive.

As we progress through the year, please learn to connect with people in your circles and not only Christ. Check on people, send someone a birthday message, check their timelines and comment something positive and inspirational. Pick your phone and call someone, or text them. It could be your relative, your colleague, your former schoolmate, a former or current boss, your CEO, your parents etc.

Creating a connection with people is important for building your social capital. And even if they don’t respond, at least keep in touch and don’t just reach out when you are in need. Even some on whatsapp don’t comment on any issue you put across they just read and keep quiet but that should not deter you. Continue communicating.

Most importantly, respect everyone no matter their status in life and be there when others need you. Be a solution, an encouragement and inspiration. Avoid being a leech, a user or nagger. Just be a nice person who in a calculated way stays in touch with people and brings joy, encouragement and hope.

The most important asset you have in life is not your job, money or title; its people. Your network is your net worth”

African folklore

Long time ago in the Animal Kingdom, a sheep was passing and saw a lion crying inside a cage trap and the Lion begged the Sheep to save him with a promise not to kill and eat it but the Sheep refused*.

After much persuasion and due the Sheep’s gullibility it opened the cage for the Lion.
Now the Lion was very hungry having stayed in the cage for days without food.
It quickly grabbed the Sheep to kill and eat but the Sheep reminded him of his promise.
They were still there arguing when other animals came passing and they sought to know what happened.

*Both the Lion and the Sheep narrated their own side of the story but because of fear and in trying to gain favour with the Lion, all the animals took sides with the Lion except the Tortoise who claimed not to understand the whole scenario*.

Now the Tortoise asked the Lion to show them where he was before the Sheep rescued him, he pointed at the cage.
He asked again, “were you inside or outside when the sheep arrived”? The Lion said he was inside.
The Tortoise again said “ok, enter lets see how difficult it could be inside”.
The Lion entered and the Tortoise locked him back inside.

*In amazement the other animals asked Tortoise “why” and he replied “if we allow him eat the Sheep today, he will still go hungry tomorrow and we don’t know the next amongst us to be eaten tomorrow*.

*Moral*:

Don’t support evil today because it doesn’t affect you directly, tomorrow it could be your turn.

Be reasonable
Stay safe.