- You Need To Start
This is your only life
It’s too short to keep putting off doing what you want to do
Live your life for you, not anyone else.
- Your Environment Is Crucial
Regardless of how disciplined or motivated you are
If you’re in the wrong environment you’ll never get anything done.
- Be Ready To Pivot
Things change, plans fall through and life happens.
Be ready and willing to pivot when chasing your goals according to the feedback you’re getting.
- Be A Book Worm
I love reading, I love learning
But too much reading and not enough doing is just like binge-watching YouTube.
Read, apply, and repeat.
- You Need To Be Selfish
You can’t pour from an empty cup
So be selfish, fill your cup first and then you can be selfless and pour into others.
- The Gym Is Preparation
In the gym, your mind is telling you to quit the whole time
By not quitting, you’re building your mental fortitude and resilience in preparation for life.
- You Can’t Stop Learning
The moment you stop learning, you stop progressing
Acquire new knowledge, learn new skills, apply, progress, and repeat.
- Not Everyone Wants You To Win
Learn to recognize those that truly want the best for you and those that don’t.
Cut out the latter.
- Risk Is A Part Of Life
Whether you’re taking a new job, starting your own business or moving to a new country
Anything that has the potential to improve your life involves risk.
- Challenge Your Beliefs
Why do you belief something? Because your parents told you? Because the news told you?
Challenge what you believe, be willing to listen to opposing opinions and always be ready to learn.
- Money Can Buy Happiness
Money can buy you time freedom,
Location freedom and most importantly/
The opportunity to do what actually makes you happy.
- You Need Discomfort
Whether it’s physical discomfort in the gym or mental discomfort when chasing your goals.
Embracing discomfort is the key to long- term fulfillment.
- Failure Isn’t Final
Failure is nothing but a sign telling you which direction not to go.
Stop treating it like a never – ending red light.
- Consistency Always Wins
Talented but not consistent?
Hardworking but not consistent?
So long as you have consistency – You’ll win Eventually.
You’ve been through a thousand things in your life don’t even know about.
You’ve experienced things that have shook you, changed you, broke you, built you and taught you to be stronger than you ever thought you had the ability to be.
And you are who you are for all of it.
So the next time someone judges you based on a small part of what they see and how they interpret that, remember who you are, remember how much you’ve overcome and smile and keep walking because you don’t have a single thing to prove to anyone else.
You’ve already proved so much to yourself who muddled through storms that people didn’t even see because of how you carried yourself.
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!”?John Greenleaf Whittier
You can use your regents to improve your Future Self.
Regrets can really hold you back in life, especially if you keep reliving the past.
Chances are that if you look back on your past 10 years, that if you knew then what you know now, there are things you would have done differently.
Maybe you would have saved more money, taken better care of your health, spent more time with loved ones, etc.
While you can’t change the past, you can change your Future Self.
Your Future Self represents the person you want to become.
By using self-compassion and a framework for regrets, you can stop living your life based on who you’ve been.
Your regrets become a backbone for your personal growth and transformation.
Your regrets set the stage for who you become.
We Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About Regrets
A regret is when you are sorrowful or mournful of a past mistake or decision.
How often do you spend time regretting your past mistakes?
It seems very natural and very human to dwell on the past. Below are results of a case study carried out.
When asked “How often do you look back on your life and wish you had done things differently?”, here are the results:
“Only 1 percent of our respondents said that they never engage in such behavior—and fewer than 17 percent do it rarely.
Meanwhile, about 43 percent report doing it frequently or all the time.
In all, a whopping 82 percent say that this activity is at least occasionally part of their lives, making Americans far more likely to experience regret than they are to floss their teeth.”
That’s a lot of people walking around wishing they’d done things differently.
The good news is that you can break this pattern and use regret in a more skillful way, as you’ll learn in this article.
Your Future Self Represents Opportunity
Before we go into regrets, let’s first really understand why Future Self is such an important concept.
The science says that when we feel connected to our Future Self, we treat ourselves better, make better choices that affect our relationships, our finances, and our mental well-being.
Even more interesting is that the science says that when it comes to our Future Self, we really underestimate the amount of change that we can make in a 10 year span.
While the rate of change might slow down, it doesn’t slow down nearly as much as we think.
We can change our friends, favorite vacations, and musicians. But the real surprise is that we can change our values and even our personalities.
Nothing is set in stone.
Review Your Regrets with a Growth Mindset
One of the reasons that regrets can really sting, is because we feel like stuck.
That’s a Fixed mindset.
A Fixed mindset is where you believe you believe your intelligence and skills are basically set. It’s a self-imposed limit where you believe you are either good or bad at something based on what you were born with.
A Growth mindset is the opposite and it can be your ticket to a brand new life of possibilities and potential.
The fundamental belief of a Growth mindset is:
“You can learn and you get better.”
Here is the essence of a Growth mindset according to Carol Dweck, Ph.D:
“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point.
This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.”
If you review your regrets with a Growth mindset, you open the door for continuous improvement.
And when you combine this with your Future Self, you become limitless.
Grow from Your Regrets
Sometimes regret acts like an anchor or a chain that holds you back or holds you down and wears you out.
Other times, regret serves to motivate and inspire you to make big changes in your life.
What’s the difference between these two paths?
According to researchers at UC Berkeley, self-compassion is the difference that makes the difference.
In fact, according to Kristin Neff, self-compassion trumps self-esteem. Self-esteem has several traps including narcissism, self-absorption, self-righteous anger, prejudice, disruption, etc.
Self-compassion has all the benefits of high self-esteem without its drawbacks.
Neff defines self-compassion as 3 core components:
- Self-kindness – be gentle and understanding of yourself, rather than critical and judgmental.
- Common humanity – feeling connected with others in the experience of life, rather than alone and alienated by our suffering.
- Mindfulness – hold our experience in balanced awareness versus ignoring our pain or exaggerating it.
You can’t grow if you can’t acknowledge your own weaknesses.
And you don’t’ grow by beating yourself up or tearing yourself down, either.
According to Neff, a better way to grow is to stop judging and evaluating yourself altogether. Stop trying to label yourself as “good” or “bad”, and accept yourself with an “open heart”, like you would a good friend.
By practicing self-compassion and going easier on yourself, you’ll experience less anxiety, less anxiety, and more peace of mind.
4 Types of Regrets
Regrets can be a wide open topic. I find it helpful to use a framework to think about regrets in a more deliberate way.
You draw from 4 different types of regrets to identify different types of behavior changes.
In the book, The Power of Regret, Dan Pink identifies the following 4 types of regrets:
- Foundation Regrets – “If I’d only done the work.”
- Boldness Regrets – “If only I’d taken that risk…”
- Moral Regrets – “If I’d only done the right thing…”
- Connection Regrets – “If only I’d reached out…”
Foundation Regrets are when you let yourself down because you didn’t do the work. That could be anything from you didn’t practice your instrument, or you didn’t study the way you knew you should.
It might mean you didn’t make the most of the job you had, or that you didn’t put in the effort to learn something new.
Boldness Regrets are where you didn’t step up to the plate when you could. You shied away from things either through fear or a lack of courage.
You didn’t feel the fear and do it anyway.
Moral Regrets can be anything where you didn’t do the right thing, when you had a choice. This is your chance to identify your behaviors and change your ways.
Connection Regrets are where you didn’t stay in touch or you didn’t let somebody know what they really meant to you.
This is why when somebody unexpectedly loses a love one, they might tell people they love them, a little more often, and a little more freely.
The Top 5 Regret of the Dying
You can learn about some of life’s deepest regrets from what people say they regret when they are on their death bed.
In the book, Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Bronnie Ware shares the short-list of what people regret the most when they are on their deathbed.
Here are the top 5 regrets of the dying at a glance:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I didn’t work so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Notice how #4 on the list is effectively a Connection Regret.
You can use this insight to help inform behaviors and habits that you want to adopt today.
Again, your Future Self will thank you for it.
9 Choices Your Future Self Will Regret
While knowing the top 5 regrets of the dying can be helpful, you ultimately need to figure out the regrets that resonate with you.
In the article, 9 Choices Your Future Self Will Definitely Regret, the author identifies a short list of potential regrets:
- Letting other people shape your world
- Sticking to your bad old habits
- Giving up
- Hiding your real self (behind a mask)
- Constantly waiting for the right time
- Tolerating negative energy
- Striving to control every little thing
- Not taking care of your health
- Being lazy
This is the stuff that New Years Resolutions, vision boards, and every day goal setting are born from.
The beauty is that all of these are choices you can control.
The Grant Study
When it comes to big regrets in life, we can learn from the Grant Study.
The Grant Study is a study of 268 men for 75 years to learn about happiness and how to live a good life.
Here’s how George Vaillant, the director of the Grant Study, summarized the findings:
“Happiness is love. Full Stop.”
Vaillant says that while Virgil taught us the power of love long ago, now we have the data:
“The seventy-five years and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points, at least to me, to a straightforward five-word conclusion:
‘Happiness is love. Full stop.’
Virgil, of course, needed only three words to say the same thing, and he said them a very long time ago— Omnia vincit amor, love conquers all— but unfortunately he had no data to back them up.”
As you can see from the study, in terms of the 4 types of regrets, Connection Regrets are a big deal.
In fact, here is what Dan Pink had to say about the Grant Study in his book The Power of Regret:
“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives…
Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”
In many ways you might say, the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.
The Terman Study
We can also learn about big regrets in life from the Terman Study.
The Terman Study is an ongoing study that started in 1921 with 1528 children and it’s another study to figure out what makes us happy and how to live a good life.
Friedman and Martin write:
“The qualities and lifestyles cultivated by people on these life-long paths reflect an active pursuit of goals, deep satisfaction with life, and a strong sense of accomplishment.
That’s not to say that these people possessed a giddy sense of happiness–we described how cheerfulness doesn’t necessarily lead to a long life.
But having a large social network, engaging in physical activities that naturally draw you in, giving back to your community, enjoying and thriving in your career, and nurturing a healthy marriage or close friendships can do more than add many years to your life.
Together, they represent the living with purpose that comes from working hard, reaching out to others, and bouncing back from difficult times.
How fascinating to understand that those individuals who became involved with others in a consequential life would be improving their health as an unanticipated bonus.”
Here you can see how Connection Regrets can play a role in how you live your good life.
Look Back 10 Years Through the Lens of Regrets
This is your chance to really identify your transformational changes that will unleash the you that you really want to be.
And it’s these changes that will be your game winning strategies for life.
This is how you win the game of life your way.
This is a pretty easy part of the exercise, you can look back over the last 10 years of your life and identify your most important regrets.
What would you do differently?
This is your chance to use your past for lessons that will help you become the type of person that you want to be.
You can look back through key areas of your life using the Life Hot Spots framework:
Looking back on your past 10 years, if you knew then, what you know now, what would you do differently?
With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, what changes would you make in terms of how you think, feel, or act, and what you focus on?
Remember that your thoughts are behaviors, too.
Maybe you spent the last 10 years thinking too much about your regrets!
With regrets in hand, this is your chance to change your future, so you regret less, and live life more fully on your terms.
How Does the Rocking Chair Test and the Dickens Pattern Fit In?
Now that we know the 4 types or classes of regret, we can evaluate how different tools help reduce our future regrets and live more fully.
The first tool that comes to my mind is Tony Robbins’ Rocking Chair Test.
It’s a simple test and it goes like this:
Imagine yourself as 80 years old (or some age in the future), sitting on your rocking chair, and you didn’t do whatever it is where fear is holding you back.
If it doesn’t bother you, then don’t do it.
I think the Rocking Chair test really nails the Boldness Regrets.
Another tool that comes to mind is Tony Robbins’ Dickens Pattern exercise.
The Dickens Pattern exercise is really focused on limiting beliefs, which could overlap with Boldness Regrets, as well as Foundation Regrets.
But the value of it is ultimately creating clarity around your limiting beliefs and the impact they have on your life.
It’s Never Too Late, To Start All Over Again
It’s never too late to start all over again.
Regret can be a good thing if you use it to learn and grow, along with practicing self-compassion.
The whole point of getting good at regret is so that as you live your life forward, let your past go, and become more of who you want to be.
You can change your fate through your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions today.
This is how you help your Future Self think, feel, and act like the person you want to become.
Trust the one who can see these three things in you,
Sorrow behind your smile,
Love behind your anger
And reason behind your silence
For beautiful things are not always good
But good things are always beautiful.
Always choose to heal, not to hurt
To forgive, not to despise
To persevere, not to quit
To smile, not to frown
To love, not to hate.
At the end of life what really matters
is not what we brought, but what we built
Not what we got, but what we shared
Not our competence, but our character
Not our success but our significance.
Live a life that matters, Live a life that cares!
Walk with the dreamers,
the successful people with their heads in the clouds
and their feet on the ground.
Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.
Great quotes encapsulate big ideas in few words. They inspire, motivate, and encourage in a memorable way. On this blog I like to cover all aspects of building wealth, including interviewing authors, investors, and business owners who have achieved great success. In that spirit, I’ve assembled the top 100 quotes about money.
- Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don’t want..to impress people that they don’t like. –Will Rogers
- A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart. –Jonathan Swift
- Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. –Epictetus
- Money often costs too much. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Everyday is a bank account, and time is our currency. No one is rich, no one is poor, we’ve got 24 hours each. –Christopher Rice
- It’s how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success. –David Feherty
- Frugality includes all the other virtues. –Cicero
- I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. –Steve Martin
- An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. –Benjamin Franklin
- I will tell you the secret to getting rich on Wall Street. You try to be greedy when others are fearful. And you try to be fearful when others are greedy. –Warren Buffett
Recommended by Forbes
· Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery. –Charles Dickens
· Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. –Thomas Edison
· What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us. –Julia Cameron
· I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it for ten years. –Warren Buffett
· A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. –Yogi Berra
· Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one. –Benjamin Franklin
· Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
· Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune. –Jim Rohn
· Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. –Ayn Rand
· Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this. –Dave Ramsey
· It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. –Seneca
· It’s not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It’s the customer who pays the wages. –Henry Ford
· He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all. –Eleanor Roosevelt
· Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. –Franklin D. Roosevelt
· Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. –Norman Vincent Peale
· It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy. –George Lorimer
· You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you. –Maya Angelou
· Buy when everyone else is selling and hold until everyone else is buying. That’s not just a catchy slogan. It’s the very essence of successful investing. –J. Paul Getty
· If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. –Henry Ford
· If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion. –George Bernard Shaw
· How many millionaires do you know who have become wealthy by investing in savings accounts? I rest my case. –Robert G. Allen
· I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. –Malcolm Forbes
· Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. –Steve Jobs
· The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money. –Anonymous
· Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant. –P.T. Barnum
· Try to save something while your salary is small; it’s impossible to save after you begin to earn more. –Jack Benny
· Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. –Henry David Thoreau
· The individual investor should act consistently as an investor and not as a speculator. –Ben Graham
· I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. –Thomas Jefferson
· You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. –Dave Ramsey
· Investing should be more like watching paint dry or watching grass grow. If you want excitement, take $800 and go to Las Vegas. –Paul Samuelson
· Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self. –Nathan W. Morris
· Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs. –Zig Ziglar
· Never spend your money before you have it. –Thomas Jefferson
· The stock market is filled with individuals who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing. –Phillip Fisher
· Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it. –Benjamin Franklin
· It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. –Robert Kiyosaki
· I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. –Thomas A. Edison
· If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know & start charging for it. –Kim Garst
· Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. –Steve Jobs
· The habit of saving is itself an education; it fosters every virtue, teaches self-denial, cultivates the sense of order, trains to forethought, and so broadens the mind. –T.T. Munger
· Don’t tell me what you value, show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.” –Joe Biden
· If you live for having it all, what you have is never enough. –Vicki Robin
· Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give. –William A. Ward
· We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. –Winston Churchill
· Wealth after all is a relative thing since he that has little and wants less is richer than he that has much and wants more. –Charles Caleb Colton
· Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. –Albert Einstein
· It is time for us to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever, the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it. –Vince Lombardi
· It’s not the situation, but whether we react (negative) or respond (positive) to the situation that’s important. –Zig Ziglar
· A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. –David Brinkley
· Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present. –Roger Babson
· Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. –John Wayne
· Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. –Mahatma Gandhi
· Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. –Mark Twain
· It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. –J. K Rowling
· The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. –Bruce Lee
· Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. –Dale Carnegie
· The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. –Ayn Rand
· Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning. –Robert Kiyosaki
· You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. –Steve Jobs
· Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed. –Abraham Lincoln
· Screw it, Let’s do it! –Richard Branson
· If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it! –Jonathan Winters
· People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. –Zig Ziglar
· A real entrepreneur is somebody who has no safety net underneath them. –Henry Kravis
· As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big. –Donald Trump
· The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. –Vidal Sassoon
· Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. –Winston Churchill
· Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. –Benjamin Franklin
· If plan A fails, remember there are 25 more letters. –Chris Guillebeau
· Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
· A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. –Lao Tzu
· Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it. –Oprah Winfrey
· Believe you can and you’re halfway there. –Theodore Roosevelt
· The Stock Market is designed to transfer money from the Active to the Patient. –Warren Buffett
· I’m only rich because I know when I’m wrong…I basically have survived by recognizing my mistakes. –George Soros
· Persist – don’t take no for an answer. If you’re happy to sit at your desk and not take any risk, you’ll be sitting at your desk for the next 20 years. –David Rubenstein
· If you took our top fifteen decisions out, we’d have a pretty average record. It wasn’t hyperactivity, but a hell of a lot of patience. You stuck to your principles and when opportunities came along, you pounced on them with vigor. –Charlie Munger
· When buying shares, ask yourself, would you buy the whole company? –Rene Rivkin
· If you have trouble imagining a 20% loss in the stock market, you shouldn’t be in stocks. –John Bogle
· My old father used to have a saying: If you make a bad bargain, hug it all the tighter. –Abraham Lincoln
· It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan. –Eleanor Roosevelt
· The four most expensive words in the English language are, ‘This time it’s different.’ –Sir John Templeton
· I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money. –Pablo Picasso
· Fortune sides with him who dares. –Virgil
· Wealth is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; and the same is true of fame. –Arthur Schopenhauer
· If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. –Edmund Burke
· No wealth can ever make a bad man at peace with himself. –Plato
· My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil. –JP Getty
- Walk: Walking helps clear your mind. It offers you a different perspective.
- Indulge: Take a day off to spend a whole day doing exactly what you want.
- Be Generous: Give something to a total stranger. Acts of giving make us feel warm and fuzzy inside.
- Sit in a coffee shop or a busy street and soak up your surroundings. You don’t have to talk to people.
- Educate yourself: research what it is you are experiencing. Arm yourself with knowledge and the resources to tackle the problems head-on.
- Preparation:Write the day’s to-do list the evening before.
- Strengths: Write down a list of 20 of your strengths.
- Keep going forward: Keep taking small steps, no matter what. Being stagnant doesn’t serve you.
- Re-visit and old hobby: If you don’t have one, create one.
- Prioritise: Decide what’s important right now. Say no to extra obligations.
- Sleep. Get enough rest. Sleep 7-9 hours each night.
- Be silly: Do something that you did as a child. Don’t take life too seriously.
- Cry: Release all that emotion. You will feel better.
- Check you self- talk. Negative self-talk does not serve you.
- Journal: Develop a habit of journaling. This will help free you mind.
- Remind yourself that life is a journey. Remember that what you are going through is temporary, It will pass.
Distractions like social media, texting or even just the notification sound are proven to be the number 1 cause for low productivity at work.
Decide on a specific period of time you’re going to work to and turn off your phone, or turn on the airplane mode so you don’t have any distractions while working.
Only practising this daily takes your focus and productivity to a new level.
2. Use Pomodoro Technique
The Pomodoro Technique is a time management system that encourages people to work with the time they have—rather than against it. Using this method, you break your workday into 25-minute chunks separated by five-minute breaks. These intervals are referred to as pomodoros.
Step 1: Pick a task
Step 2: Set a 25 – minute timer
Step 3: Work on your task until the time is up
Step 4: Take a 5 – minute break
Step 5: Every 4 Pomodoros, take a longer 15-30 minutes break
Find your strengths and focus on them.
Find your weak areas, and find the right person whose strength is your weakness.
For example, if you’re really good at copy writing for your business, but design is your weakness. Focus your time writing more copy and find the right person to take that copy and make designs out of it.
This will help you achieve more in less time, and maintain the highest quality.
4. The 6 Goals Rule
Aiming to finish 20 tasks in one day will probably get you to procrastinate most of your work without focusing on quality. Every single day, aim to finish no more than 6 things.
Work until finishing these for the day. Tasks that you didn’t finish will always move to the next day. So, if you finished 4 tasks, you can only add 2 for that day, keeping you list clean with 6 tasks at a time.
5. Plan Ahead – Use this formula
- Wake up early
- Read daily
- Eat well
- Love yourself
- Judge less
- Be yourself
- Set goals
- Plan your day
- Positive attitude
- Have purpose
- Find inspiration
- Help others
- Save Money
- Track finances
- Build a brand
- Fail Fast
- Learn Skills
- Get a mentor
- Think big
- Be productive
- Do more
- Spend wisely
- Be ambitious
• Failure helps you to realise that most people around you just love what you have and not who you are.
• When you loose your position of influence , riches, marriage, job etc, you will realize that failure is an orphan and success is a child of all. You will experience the trinity of loneliness :- i.e *(you,/yourself/alone).*
• When you hit your lowest point in life, most of your friends and relatives will be glad that you’ve dropped from grace to grass and that you’re no longer competing with them. In this life everyone around you is competing with you except your biological parents.
• Some people will pretend to render you help but their help will never be meaningful to change your situation for the better.
• Don’t stand still and look down at your low point. Failure spawns creativity, motivation and tenacity. Arise and shine, put your head up, shake off the dust and take small steps forward in the direction you know you must head. “For a righteous man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: ….”Proverbs 24:16. “ *_My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure_ .” Abraham Lincoln.*
• Make the decision to confess and repent of your sins.
• The big brother will always be there to remind you of your past, please just remind him of your future. “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved”.John 3:17
• Our heavenly father loves you with an everlasting love “… *I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” — Jeremiah 31:3*
• Failure can also help you to discover yourself, and to know who are your true friends (A friend in need is a friend indeed ).
Finally, always be motivated by some of these best and greatest minds to have ever existed Hakainde Hichilema the current president of Zambia, Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, Colonel Harland David Sanders , Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Strive Masiyiwa, to mention but a few, at some point they all had their share of failure.
*I PRAY FOR YOU :*
The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. Amen.
At 23, Julius Caesar was a junior politician on the way up. But he had an advantage: confidence and brain.
While sailing across the Aegean Sea, he was captured by Sicilian pirates. They demanded a ransom: 20 talents of silver – That’s about 620kg, worth about $600,000 in today’s value.
Caesar told them they were being ridiculous. He couldn’t possibly allow himself to be ransomed so cheaply. The pirates hesitated, they were confused. Caesar insisted the ransom must be raised to 50 talents of silver – that’s around 1,550kg, worth about $1.5 million.
Now, the pirates didn’t know what to make of this. Normally, their captives tried to escape as cheaply as possible. They didn’t understand what was going on. But if he said he would double the ransom, why argue?
They let Caesar’s men go back to Rome to raise the money. And in Rome, in his absence, Caesar suddenly became very famous and well known. No-one had ever been ransomed for such an enormous sum ever before.
He must be very special, he must be incredibly important. Consequently, the demand for such amount of silver for ransom put Caesar on the political map and made him famous.
He had just invented the Veblen Effect. Although Thorstein Veblen wouldn’t give it that name for another 2,000 years.
Interestingly, the Veblen Effect is an effective psychological strategy that has being in use for thousands of years and generations. The best part is that despite the availability of so much of knowledge, technological advancement and information, The Veblen Effect refuses to let go.
The Veblen Effect is when consumers perceive higher-priced goods to be worth much more, simply because they cost more.
Like Rolex, Cartier, Bentley, Rolls-Royce, Aston Martin, Louis Vuitton, Christian Louboutin, Harrods, Cristal Champagne.
None of them may be actually any better than their cheaper alternatives, but the price alone makes them seem more desirable.
Caesar effectively made himself a Veblen brand. He placed a much higher value on himself than anyone in Rome. But, as far as anyone in Rome knew, it wasn’t him who had done it. It was an independent valuation. So it must be true. And because Caesar was now so highly valued, his men had little trouble raising the ransom. They returned to the island and freed him.
But Caesar wasn’t going to allow the pirates to keep that sort of money at all. As an important and famous man he had become, it was easy to raise a huge force which he used to hunt down the pirates and took back all the money, plus everything else they had pillaged, then executed all of them.
Thus, Caesar became both very rich and very famous.
And in time, with that same combination of confidence and brains, he became ruler of all Rome. And he presided over the golden age of the Roman Empire.
Expanding it from Spain to Germany, from Britain to the Middle East. Because Caesar knew that reality begins in the mind.
So the most important piece of real estate in which to stake a claim is the human mind.
How you stake a claim in the mind is by creating a perception. And how you create that perception is by controlling the context.
Control the context and you control the mind.
Control the mind and you control reality.
A good example of Veblen effect is Johny Walker Double Black!
JW Black is labelled at least 12 years aged scotch. But JW Double Black has no age statement!
JW Double Black is sold at a higher price than JW Black with a perceived notion that ‘double black’ should be much better than just ‘black’, especially since Double Black is pricier than Black! That is how the human mind works.
In reality, no one knows what is so special in Double Black, except that the label claims it to be very smooth, without actually saying it is smoother than Black!
Many believe that this is simply a marketing strategy to pass off un-aged scotch at a much higher price, through the Veblen Effect!
That’s how the Veblen Effect is a highly successful marketing strategy when correctly done.
In the market you find a poor woman with a baby at her back,you lower your car window and with a military rough command voice you asked her:
“How much are you selling those onions and bananas?”
The poor seller politely replies,
“$3 for a bunch of bananas and $2,50 for a pack of onions.”
With pride you demand the bunch of bananas at $2 and the the pack of onions at $1,50 or else you will leave.
The poor seller resigns to fate and replies, “take them at the price you want.I have not made any sale today, at least I have something for supper now.”
She has made a loss but she goes further to buy a plastic bag for you to pack the two items you have just bought.
You order her to hurry up otherwise you may change your mind.She apologises and with a smile, she gives you the items and she blesses you for patronizing her.
You literally throw the money at her and you sped away leaving behind a cloud of smoke and dust which causes a bit of discomfort to her and the baby.She is coughing while securing her little money.Her poverty has left her with no choice.
You have now arrived at the 5-star restaurant where you are to meet friends and you ask them to order food and drinks of their choice.
They order expensive food and the leftovers are more than the food they have eaten.
The total bill is $400 and you pay without bargaining, you gave a tip of $50 appreciating the waiter for a delicious meal….which you didn’t eat even half of.
This incident might seem quite normal to you but it’s inhumane…
THE POINT IS:-👇
Why do we always show that we have the bargaining power when we buy from the poor?
Why do we become arrogant when buying from the poor?
Why do we become stingy when buying from the vulnerable?
Why do we show generosity to those who do not even need our generosity?
Why do we become polite when buying from the rich who view our money as mere change?
Why do we channel money to a sea of money?
Please buy simple goods from the poor people at high prices….do it deliberately.
Sometimes, pay extra for the items you buy from poor women…you are only blessing them in your little way
Please where possible buy items from local markets.
To everyone reading this, please, everytime you see them in traffic, taxi parks, bus stops, on the streets….just buy!
Don’t bargain.They are not looking for money to buy expensive clothes or mansions or cars, but to feed their children back home and pay school fees.
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Be strong, be kind, be free
Do things that make you proud of yourself
Surround yourself with people who bring out the best qualities
and distance yourself from people who do the opposite
True to yourself and true to your morals
Stand up for yourself
Don’t let people take advantage of your kindness and soft heart
Don’t take sh*t from anyone and don’t put yourself down
Believe in yourself and believe in your journey
Be good to yourself
Be unapologetically you
Embrace your imperfections
Accept the fact that when you grow sometimes you loose people and that’s okay
Celebrate your every success and learn from failure
And most importantly, never, ever let anything stand
in the way of the person you are becoming
all the small things make a big difference
every step is crucial
life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph
it’s about the trials and errors that slowly get you there
the blood, sweat, tears and the small,
inconsequential things you do on a day-to-day basis
it all matters in the end
every step, every regret, every decision, every minor setback
and every minuscule win.
all this has strengthened you
all of this has led you to every success you’ve every had
all of this has made you who you are today
and all of this proves that you have the
strength to deal with the challenges
that are in front of you
Lesson #1 – Love vs. Fear. Don’t Confuse Them.
Ultimately, we have the ability to choose between these two.
The most succinct contrast I’ve seen is this:
“Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hordes, harms. Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away.
Fear holds close, love holds dear, Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes, Fear attacks, love amends.”
Lesson #2 – Separate Love from Need and Wanting.
Ignore popular culture. Separate love from need and wanting. Do not confuse these even though songs, TV, and literature often make them the same.
They are not.
- Need is the belief that you cannot possibly live without that someone or something.
- Wanting is the belief that you do not have something and the desire to obtain it. When you grasping for a want, you are saying it’s a need. e.g. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you”.
I say belief here because I’ve noticed that in changing my mind about what I need, some things have fallen away.
They were never needs or wants at all.
I was after something else that I thought that the want or need would bring me. Like asking for a soda because I was thirsty and only after realizing that soda actually dehydrates me in the long run.
Certainly attraction is part of love, but when you start to grasp and become desperate, you’ve left the realm of love.
You simply cannot force or manipulate someone into loving you.
Wanting is fine in that it can expose our desires and motivations, but if you have an expectation that your wants will always be fulfilled, you are crossing the line into need.
The more you need from another, less you can truly love them.
You are generating your internal energy and well-being from trying to control your outside world.
Controlling the outside world is always a struggle.
You end up running your life like it’s a juggling match, trying to arrange it so all your needs and wants can be met.
How are you going to love someone if they do not show up how you need them too?
You get bitter, resentful, or at the least, drained.
Naturally, you will fear losing the outside source of your well-being and you attempt to control the other person(s).
This suffocates your relationship(s) over time.
Confusing love and need leads to mistaken ideas like jealously is love, drama in a relationship is love, codependence is love, love hurts, and other such confusion.
While these are common and normal, they are not at all related to love.
Love is NOT need.
Lesson #3 – There is Only So Much Love to Go Around.
This is a fear based idea. There may be limited time or resources to spend on people, but when you give love to one person, you don’t have less to give to another.
If anything, I’ve found that it can increase your capacity to love elsewhere.
Jealousy is our ego saying “I’m not getting enough”.
This should be addressed in the relationship by accepting it, loving it and then moving on from it.
Concentrate on what you want to create with the other person and who they are being with you vs what else they are doing with their time or energy.
Get out of the scarcity mentality.
Lesson #4 – Unconditional Love. No Conditions. Not trading.
Give to empower with the birthday present model Unconditional love means “love without condition”.
Much of this confusion can come from religious beliefs since many tell us that we have to meet some criteria for “the Creator” to love us.
Entertain that it’s possible to love someone without conditions and the more whole you are, the more that’s possible.
Most of us have rarely experienced that because of the confusion with love and need.
Unconditional love can only be given when the giver is not dependent on the other person for something.
The givers love has to be generated internally.
It follows that true love is freely given without requirement or expectation. It’s a gift.
This doesn’t mean the giver doesn’t have needs as well, but a giver can remove the expectation of receiving when they give.
Do not turn “I love you very much” into “I trade you very much”.
If as the giver you are getting drained, then concentrate on what will give you energy.
Don’t demand that that energy come from your lover. Ask for it, but don’t demand it.
If you are tired of giving, stop and recharge.
If you notice the giving is disempowering someone and making them more dependent, stop giving and help them to learn to meet their own needs.
I try to remember this by thinking about getting or giving a birthday present. I give with no strings attached and I try to give what the other person says they want.
It is easier if they tell me what they want instead of my trying to guess, but I’m willing to try either way.
That gift should mean something to them, not necessarily to me.
The other person may throw the gift out, that’s fine. I draw energy in that I gave.
Then if I need something myself and I don’t get it for my birthday, I go out and buy it for myself. I encourage the other person to do the same and not rely on me to give them everything they want.
This frees everyone up to receive and to give without putting expectations into the picture. We don’t expect to get our basic needs met on our birthday.
I’m not going to rely on someone to feed me via birthday presents.
Lesson # 5 – Fearful Protection is Only Necessary Because of Our Needs and Wounds.
Heal them and you reduce the need to protect yourself.
As mentioned in point 1, love expands and opens itself.
What about being hurt? Where does that come from?
That’s pretty common in our close relationships.
If someone physically hurts us, that’s a bodily response. But most of the pain around love in relationships starts or remains in the emotional area.
I’ve used the model of “emotional wounds” in myself. It makes it easier to think about what I should do because it seems more obvious if I had a physical wound.
When someone touches an emotional wound in me, it’s like they’ve brushed up against an open wound on my skin.
We are hurt when someone reinforces judgments we may suspect about ourselves.
Those judgments show up as our wounds.
Use caution, but not fear.
Caution here means that you realize that you have these sensitivities and you don’t needlessly expose them and get hurt.
Fear would mean you are in a constant state of dread that someone will hit them and so you run away or seal up.
If you suspect that someone is likely to reject you, factor that in to how you proceed.
Caution acknowledges natural consequences.
You want to play football, but you’ve got a wound. So you put on a band-aid or even a plastic covering taking into account the environment you are entering.
However, when the need to protect yourself or another comes along with anger and emotional drama, it’s from fear.
When there is a desire for retribution, that’s fear.
Often when we open up, we at the same time fear that another will not.
Others behavior can inform you. It doesn’t have to hurt.
You can actually be open and not be hurt. The hurt comes from needing another to return that same feeling, thus proving you are lovable.
If you believe that you are lovable, this is not a problem.
You simply move on to those where you can express love and receive it back.
Lesson # 6 – The More Needs You Have About How Someone is Supposed to Show Up, the More You Have to Protect Yourself.
Personally, I make it okay that my mate can change her mind about what she wants in the future and so can I.
This allows for growth.
The less you give yourself from the inside, the more requirements you have about how others show up.
The more you love and accept yourself, the less necessary it is to protect those inner parts and you don’t resist change.
Lesson # 7 – Ultimately, Love Lets Go.
If you’ve followed what’s above, then you understand that “needing” and “grasping” is fear based.
When you don’t need as much, you can see that you can continue to love people even when their wants and desire conflict with yours.
Lesson # 8 – Be Dedicated to the Quality of Your Relationship, Not its Longevity.
We all know people who probably should not be together because the energy they create together is toxic to them and/or those around them.
If you concentrate on how to heal yourself, meet your own needs, and make your relationship healthy, you may either stay together or separate.
One is not better than the other.
If you figure out how to be healthy and stay together, your relationship deepens to the next level and you have a greater capacity for trust and intimacy.
If it does not, you may separate, but you will not have the bitter, no holds barred, damaging divorces that seem to happen on a regular basis.
These are caused by needs and expectations.
You may separate with or without sadness, but never malice.
You may actually find that your love relationship with that person still grows. The love doesn’t (have to) go away.
The relationship just changes.
Lesson # 9 – Love Another as Yourself, not Instead Of, or More Than.
A misinterpretation of the ethic of giving has led people to believe they can love themselves only through others.
“Love your neighbor as yourself” means keep the two as equal as possible.
“Love your neighbor and yourself” “would be a better translation to me.
When giving progressively drains you over time, you are not giving from a sustainable place.
Eventually, you give yourself away and then there is nothing left.
Love considers the well- being of those doing the loving.
Lesson # 10 – Reject the “Complete Me” Model. Think Three, not One.
Don’t try to be one person with your mate. This leads to a belief of needing another to be whole.
Relationships change and move.
Have you, your mate, and the relationship.
Think of a relationship as something you both have to feed with time and energy.
When one person doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, then it affect two parts, but it doesn’t take you with it. You let go and you are intact.
Lesson # 11 – Understand the Difference.
Understand the difference between intimacy, connection, infatuation, lust, touch, sex, nurturing and love.
Be clear on what you are trying to experience.
Most people fold these all together in some way. It’s not that these things can’t go together with love or enhance it, the same way the food in a recipe comes together to make something greater than the whole.
But if you think that milk and eggs are the same and then you keep adding more eggs to a recipe, you are going to come out with something that’s not likely to taste good. In the same way, your relationship will seem like something is missing or you have too much of something.
Later in this post, I go through definitions of each of these and how to draw distinctions.
And don’t expect your desires to matches your mates.
You are two different people.
There has to be some overlap obviously, but respect that people have different tastes and so want different proportions in their recipes.
Lesson # 12 – What Makes Us “Feel Loved” Varies.
Lesson #11 doesn’t include every possibility of course. Feeling loved often boils down to a set of attributes like those listed in lesson #11.
When you experience them with your lover, you naturally become closer.
We each have our love languages. There is even a book called “The 5 Love Languages”.
Take the time to figure this out and express it to your mate.
Don’t make your mate responsible for figuring it out.
The Sweet Spot – The Intersection of Passion, Profit, and Value
Passion, profit, and value is the key to sustainable results:
- Passion. Your passion is your fuel for making things happen. In today’s skill-for-hire economy, one of your most important assets is your passion. It’s you’re staying power, and your get up and go, especially when you get knocked down. It’s how you get up again. Passion is also a proxy for your values, strengths, and purpose. Strengths can be skills, but in this case, I’m also thinking about your natural strengths … the stuff that comes easy for you, but might be tough for others. We tend to love what we’re awesome at, and, our passion tends to help us get awesome to begin with.
- Profit. This is about how much you can make. Just because you create tons of value, doesn’t mean you can make a profit, especially in an economy where free is the new price, and your competition gives away what you try to sell. How do you know what’s making a profit? You ask. This is where your network comes in. Also, your friendly neighborhood accountant might be the perfect source for knowing what’s making money, and what’s not.
- Value. The idea here is that if you’re creating value, you have a better chance of getting rewarded. Value is in the eye of the beholder. This means staying aware of what the market values and knowing that the market doesn’t always drive the right thing. This also means being aware of intrinsic vs. market value. Intrinsic value is what something is really worth, while market value is what people are willing to pay, which could be wildly inflated. Personally, I like to optimize around providing value for basic needs, and I’m cautious when market value and intrinsic value are out of whack … market corrections can be painful.
To give you an example of the passion, profit and value intersection, I have a passion for making others great. There’s a certain market value to that. I already do it for free, but if I wanted to profit from it, I would take on certain clients. For example, if the President wanted me for his results coach, I’d give him my special presidential discount, but I would still expect to profit from the value I create.
OK, fine, I’d do it for free, so it’s not a great example.
Cutting Questions to Find Your Path
Here are some cutting questions to help find and test your paths …
- What would you do for free?
- What’s the minimum you need to make?
- What’s your minimum and ideal life style?
- How much do you need to fund your ideal life style?
- Who has the job that you want that you can model from?
Guideline for Getting Results
Some guidelines for results …
- Find the intersections of your passion, profit, and value.
- Passion, profit and value are sliding scales … this gives you a lot of flexibility as well as trade-offs.
- If you’re creating all value, and no profit, that’s a charity, and that won’t pay your bills.
- If you’re playing to your passion, but creating no value, that’s a hobby.
- If you do what you hate, you’ll suck your life force dry.
- Find the job you love, or love the job your with.
- You can love the job you’re with, by by changing your why or changing your how.
- Some hobbies can be turned into profit, if they create value.
- Sometimes the key to unleashing your profit potential, is simply finding the right channel or platform.
- Be careful what you get paid for, because if you externalize your reward, you can kill your passion.
- Knowing the market demand and the profit potential can help you follow the money.
- Money is a means, not an end. When you’re below the line, it means everything. Once you’re above the line, happiness is doing what you love and service to others … you know, the stuff Maslow taught us.
One important point here is that life’s not static and neither is the market.
One strategy is to follow the growth. This includes following the growth in the market (think biotech, green, … etc.) as well as following paths that lead to your own personal growth.
It’s one way to keep the skills that pay the bills.
- Morning Routine
- Create an early morning routine so that you can build momentum for the day. This includes waking up consistently before sunrise.
- Concentrate on your daily goals. We become what we think about
- Think Positively.
- Have a positive mental attitude so that you can achieve positive results
- Trust Yourself
- Ignore the haters.
- Associate yourself with successful and like-minded people
- Learn Daily
- Go to bed smarter by reading books, watching seminars and listening to audio books.
- Build One Habit at a Time
- It takes 66 days to develop a habit.
- Impatience is Weakness
- Be patient when working on your goals, you can’t be strong all the time, you will have your ups and downs.